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J.C. PENNEY COOKS UP ODOR-EATING UNDERWEAR

By SUZANNE KAPNER :
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Under development today at the Carrollton lab — a sort of Willy Wonka's factory for retail, complete with gadgets like the button basher and launderometer — is anti-microbial underwear that eliminates odors and collagen-injected socks to keep feet smooth.
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Let's not leave out Goldie (scratch the crotch) Hawn!
 

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Of course Goldie looks like shit in public. We celebs have to dress down lest there be mobs following us.
 
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