[roarke]

J.C. PENNEY COOKS UP ODOR-EATING UNDERWEAR

By SUZANNE KAPNER :
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Under development today at the Carrollton lab — a sort of Willy Wonka's factory for retail, complete with gadgets like the button basher and launderometer — is anti-microbial underwear that eliminates odors and collagen-injected socks to keep feet smooth.
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[Helen Lawson]

There's always going to be the Nancy McKeon's, Ethan Hawke's, Uma Thurman's, and Debra Winger's of this world who just won't bathe on a regular basis, so they'll always be a market for this kind of product.

 

[Sally Struthers]

Don't forget your Brad Pitts and Johnny Depps

 

[Helen Lawson]

Yes, and there's some really grody actor, can't remember his name, it's killing me, he sort of has thick lips, he might have been in one of the Batman movies, he's a real greaseball.

Damn, I can't remember his name.

 

[Sally Struthers]

Val Kilmer?

 

[Helen Lawson]

YESS!! Thanks, Sal, you know my memory went to shit at 85.

 

[alfajeffster]

Let's not leave out Goldie (scratch the crotch) Hawn!

 

[Helen Lawson]

You think Goldie is a slob? It's hard to tell, she looks like shit in public, but it's really more of an age issue to me than a cleanliness one.

 

[Sally Struthers]

Of course Goldie looks like shit in public. We celebs have to dress down lest there be mobs following us.