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My mom always said Peter don't count your chickens before they're hatched and she was right. :( If you my other thread about gays and your first time then you may remember that I was going to this thingy at Cornell with my school's gay club. We were told that we'd all score and stuff because they guys at Cornell were like that. Well I was excited and kinda nervous to as I told you guys on the thread well I shouldn't have ran my mouth because I didn't score or anything like that! :( I was nervous kinda sorta when we got there but I promised myself before hand that I had to force myself to talk to the guys and so I did. They were nice but didn't really wanna talk for too long because they were checkin out the other guys from my school. It kept happening over and over again I'd start talkin to about school and what not and then he'd like ask me what some guy from my school's name was and that totally pissed me off!! :( :mad: :mad: By 9:30 I was ready to leave because everybody was kinda hookin up except for me and a few other guys. We started talkin and we weren't really into each other and just watched evryone leavin to go wherever. By 10:30 it was just us so we went out to this diner and ate and started talkin about the whole night and the totally exact same thing happened to them. Guys were talkin to them just ask stuff about guys from our school that they thought were really cute and stuff. We were toally bummed out! :( But then I thought about something Scottso a couple times already that he wouldn't put up with people's b.s. anymore and I told the guys when were at the diner that I'm going to go to the gym and work and stuff to look like some guy from Baywatch just so I can meet guys. If that's being gay is about then I don't wanna be gay. That like toally ucks that's all about looks because some of the guys from my school that have the look and were the first ones to hook up with a guy from Cornell are so freaking dense they would bore you to death with how stupid they are! I was depressed yesterday but I'm feelin a whole lot better today! I really did learn a lesson
 

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If that's being gay is about then I don't wanna be gay.
Hi Peter, first of all, sorry that you spent a disappointing night! I've never been out planning to "score and stuff", but I get it from what you said that the experience was not pleasant ;)

Concerning the above quote, I am not gay and cannot be very specific, but what I know as a fact is that many so-called straight people are perfectly able to be dense, obsessed with looks, to ask a supposedly not-so-pretty girl who the oh-so-gorgeous creature standing over there is, etc. etc.

What I mean is that surely some gay guys know little more than hot bodies and sheer physical appearance. But would I say that I don't want to be "straight" because there are some "straight" guys behaving exactly as you described in your post? Of course not. I know that gays are a (large) minority and it is not as easy to free oneself from groups as it might be for non-gays. But just have a look around on this board and you'll find plenty of people, gay and not gay, who don't behave like those guys, and who actually care about feelings and deeper things than muscles and looks. Those are the ones who count and whom you should look forward to meeting in real life.

I should add that you can hardly "wanna be gay". If you are gay, then you are :) It may take you more time to live that reality with friends really worth it, but hopefully you can achieve that.
 

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Tart with a Heart
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It can be tough going onto gay scene for the first time. Its a very competitive environment, and its difficult not to get sucked in and play all the games that other people play. Just remember who you are and dont measure yourself against others. Someone always comes along who will want you for you.

You don´t have to have huge pecs and biceps to be a happy gay guy - it just helps.:)
 

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Devoted Capriati-Ite
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Have no fear! Sometimes the situation takes time to develop! So, just hang in there and don't rush things too much, okay?
 

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Perhaps it's not such a good idea to go out and "try to score"? I mean, in a way, you're being just as superficial as the guys that you met. You want these guys to take the trouble to get to know you, but you just wanna score with them!

Either decide that you just want to score for the sake of it, in which case you've got to accept that men will judge you on your appearance because the whole thing is just physical. Or decide that you want a relationship, at which point you do have the right to expect that a guy will want you for more than your looks.
 

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I dont think you should just plan it..its much better if it comes naturally and besides , as u said u shouldnt count ur chickens before theyre hatched..

of course by saying everyone will score was just a ploy from the promo team for this function.....and u may have been a lil naive about the situation.

but u know what? i wouldnt worry about it too much cos ur a great guy , and obviously this was a place where alot of guys 'only' went so they could score.....so what did u expect of them? they probably were mostly fairly shallow..

my advice , find the right person...which isnt simple , but i think u should try looking in 'other' places because im sure not the entire gay community is like that.
 

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Vamorza!
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IL, I hope you're feeling better now.
I think you shouldn't worry about "scoring". I don't think you would have felt better if you "scored" a guy you didn't like.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
YOU GUYS TOTALLY ROCK!

Thanks so much everybody! Totally appreciate eevrything you guys said! :D

gmt thanks for being gentle. :) I was just feelin sorry for myself which is why I made that totally dumb comment about gay. :eek: Actually you guys I'm proud of myself for just being depressed and what not ONLY FOR ONE DAY. Yay! :D That was only on Friday and yesterday I thought of per's thread and what Scottso and I discussed about being more social this semester and stuff and I'm not gonna get all bummed out! I'm gonna get back out there and try to make new friends. SM was totally right about this thingy at Cornell. Our gay club totally played up this hook up thing to get us to go which is why we were all expecting to score and it's Cornell which is like an American version of Oxford I guess so we were excited. Well you know the rest. Thanks again to all of guys for listening and also for giving your advice. I'm doin ok and yeah I learned a lesson. I've gotta be me! :D
 

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Enemy of Art
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Pfft...who's been feeding you that Cornell crap? It's a low-tier Ivy and has the second-highest amount of uni suicides in the nation. Sure, there seem to be a preponderance of hot guys there, but Cornell guys are lame. TRUST ME. ;)

Go out and make friends and have a good time. When you're having fun and being happy, relationships tend to follow, no matter how you look. Just be happy with yourself and things will work for you. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Heh-heh Hurley. Well like SM said I was naive about the whole Cornell thingy. I don't go out very much so the way the gay club moderators were talkin about it I totally believed the whole easy hook up thing. :eek:
 

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Internet Lover, your post was sweet. I think it takes guts to do what you did, and to be so open about how it all went.

Like others have said, concentrate on making friends and enjoying yourself, and I'm sure all that 'other stuff' will come later.

:)
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Thanks again guys! You guys are awesome! :D
 
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