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Top Ten Real Reasons We're Not Playing In The U.S. Open presented by Serena & Venus Williams

10. "Due to the bad economy, this year's winner only gets thirty bucks"

9. "Last year, a dozen players were carried off by giant West Nile mosquitoes"

8. "We can't give you any details, but we're very close to catching Saddam"

7. "You can only hit a ball over the net so many times without getting bored silly"

6. "I heard the Jets need a quarterback"

5. "We're spending our time in the lab developing a third, even more powerful Williams sister"

4. "What? The U.S. Open is this week?"

3. "Can't concentrate on game with Mars so close to Earth"

2. "For once we thought we'd give the other players a chance"

1. "Surprise! We're running for Governor of California"
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