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Week II, Day II – Afternoon Session

(Venus, who has missed 4 of the 6 days thus far, and only appeared yesterday afternoon when Serena testified, and not at all during this morning’s proceedings, enters and walks over to the defendant’s table. The still unfilled courtroom grows silent. She motions for Serena to stand then sits down in the vacated spot; she then motions for Serena to sit down in her lap. Once this rearranging is done, Venus opens to the bookmarked page in an encyclopedia on etiquette and culture, which she had carried in under her arm, find her place and begins reading.
Those already in attendance start whispering until their sounds create a din inside the courtroom. Meanwhile, the courtroom has swelled to capacity.
The bailiff calls for silence and instructs everyone to rise because Judge Shriver is ready to take the bench.)


Judge Shriver: (To the defendant’s atttorney) What is going on here, counsel? I hope Serena and Venus aren’t trying to conspire to get an unfair advantage. (To Serena & Venus) You Williams’ won’t be determining the outcome of THIS court battle. Venus, find yourself somewhere else to sit. NOW!

(Venus, encyclopedia in hand, gets up and saunters over to man sitting on the outside of the row directly behind the defense. He has salt and pepper dreadlocks, a long ZZ Topish beard, and is wearing an I LOVE HINGIS t-shirt.
In his lap are assorted spiral notebooks and a half-used box of mint-flavored toothpicks. On the floor, by his feet, is a huge duffel bag with camcorder and camera equipment.
Venus taps him oh his shoulder; he packs and swiftly exits the courtroom, but not before sneaking her several slips of paper.


(After Venus sits down, the judge prepares to speak.)

Judge Shriver: Who’s serve is it anyway?
VSDS: Well, our side is still presenting, if that’s what you’re asking.
Judge Shriver: New balls, please. First serve.
VSDS: We call Jennifer Capriati.
(Wearing white capris and a matching tube top, Jennifer takes the oath, enters the witness stand and sprawls out in the seat; she proceeds to unbutton her pants and unzip it a slight bit)
Jennifer: (Really loud to her belly, which she is now jiggling feverishly) HAPPY, NOW!!!?
(Everyone in the courtroom is gaping at her incredulously)
Jennifer: Who are all of them box people over there staring at me? I don’t perform at my best under such scrutiny. (In the direction of the box) Quit that gawking!
VSDS: They are the jury, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Shouldn’t they be semestered?
VSDS: Not until both sides are done presenting their cases. (Inching close to her, she whispers, you meant sequestered, Jennifer.)
Jennifer: (Yelling) So I made a damn mistake…give me probation or community service or a fuckin’ break.
VSDS: (Throws her hands in the air) NO questions, your Honor.
Judge Shriver: Let me see if I’ve got this straight: You’ve called this witness to the stand because you want her to NOT testify?
VSDS: (Eyes roll back into her head) Uh huh!.
Judge Shriver: (To defense attorney) Triple break point, counsel.

SITFB: Ms. Capriati, this isn’t your first time in a courtroom, is it?
Jennifer: (With a perplexed look on her face looks at her hands and begins counting.) Right.
SITFB: How do you feel about the defendant?
Jennifer: I got nothing against that bitch.
SITFB: Do the two of you speak at all?
Jennifer: Mostly with our ball hitting gizmos.
SITFB: She’s defeated you seven times in a row. That must affect the way you feel, no?
Jennifer: I failed to win seven times in a row; there’s an obvious difference, (under her breath) ****. That bitch has nothing on me.
(Stefano nods his approval.)
SITFB: So, you are saying that you have no ulterior motive for being here? That the idea of humiliating the number one player on tour, who has been your nemesis, denying you over and over, never crossed your mind?
Jennifer: I got her just where I want her.
SITFB: Ms. Capriati, are you delusional?
Jennifer: No. I’m Italian-American.
SITFB: NO MORE, your Honor, please.
Judge Shriver: I agree! (Giving her the thumbs up sign)Jen…um…Ms. Capriati, you may return to your seat.
Judge Shriver: (Holding her head in her hands) We are adjourned for the day. Tomorrow, 10 a.m. sharp we’ll reconvene. (To the bailiff) I need a taste. (He removes his flashlight and gives it to her then leaves; she sits in the empty courtroom, unscrews the head of the flashlight, which the bailiff has turned into a flask, and drinks.)
 
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