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Plainclothes Division
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Without making any criticisms, warranted or unwarranted, we can still have a bit of fun with the subject. So here now, for your dining and dancing pleasure, are the top 10 reasons the US withdrew from Fed Cup:

10. After a month in Europe, they were out of clean underwear.

9. After a month in Europe, they were out of clean tennis clothes, and would have had to play in their underwear.

8. Synchronized menstruation.

7. Captain Billie Jean King may have had to actually play.

6. Singles players Dawn Buth and Katrina Nimmers having trouble securing passports.

5. Players, like most US students, are poor in geography, and can't find Spain on the map.

4. Typo in player communiqués, and they accidently went to the house of former tour player Lisa Spain-Short.

3. Forgot their US flag knickers.

2. "Remember when Navratilova, Evert, and Shriver played for the US?"<br />"Yeah. November."

1. And last, but not least, JUST TO SCREW ME OUT OF SEEING CHANDA ON TV!!!!<br />___________________________________

Any others?
 

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pfft...we all know America pulled out because that is the week Martina Navratilova washes her 6 porsches and lets face it, this year she WAS the Team <img src="wink.gif" border="0">
 

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Mean Admin Machine, Admeanistrator
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Diosa Contable
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I can see how No.10 can be a problem. I think those people at the Sanex WTA should be offering a course on "basic domestic skills 101" that should include modules on:

a. how to work a washing machine, <br />b. how to get the hotel to wash your underwear

and for those scoring high in these modules, they could offer:

c. how to *gasp* clean your own unmentionables with the help of a bit of washing powder.<br />d. *what* is washing powder

<img src="smile.gif" border="0"> <img src="wink.gif" border="0"> <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0">
 

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Mean Admin Machine, Admeanistrator
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still lmao-ing <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0">
 

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Some of these are quite funny Brian S.

Want to know the real reason why the entire US Team pulled out of the Fed Cup?

They all developed superficial wrist lacerations. Quite amazing actually! Doctors said they never saw anything like this before. A rash of wrist complaints...

Oh another reason? One of the top players turned green and tested positive for excessive creatine abuse. (see photo in another thread...)
 

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5. Players, like most US students, are poor in geography, and can't find Spain on the map.

Classic! So true! lmao!!!!
 

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double-dog daredevil
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a feeble attempt:

5) are made of sugar and spice and all things nice and fear the rain in Spain would melt them

4) Monica was tired of the funny looks she got when putting butter on her tapas

3) Had been seated on plane next to little old lady with a bag full of yarn - and left for fear she would knit an afgan (groooaaannnnn)

2) Needed to keep BJK away from Amélie’s shorts

1) Were afraid that any interruptions in air traffic while abroad would prevent them from coming to my place for Thanksgiving dinner
 

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[email protected] menstruation!!! Imagine it happening during a match. <img src="redface.gif" border="0">
 

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LMAO @ griffin!!!!! Very funny, esp the afghan. And BJK.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />TC
 

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<font size=1> that little old lady was me and it wasn't an afgan I was knitting, it was shorts for Am&#233lie!</font>

<img src="wink.gif" border="0">
 
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