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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Anyone heard of the saying "go to work on an egg"?

It was a popular phrase here when they were trying to promote eggs.

Usually I'd go to work on a bus, but I thought I'd try this new method and take heed to the advice.

But imagine my employers disappointment when I would roll in six hours late, suit all yolked up, and even worse days when I had selected a blood egg.

After several warnings, a colleague saved me from losing my job. He recommended that instead of rolling on a common-or-garden dairy egg from a clucking hen, that I should opt for an Ostrich Egg.

He said that the Ostrich Egg would be a lot bigger in size by a considerable amount, which would drastically improve the time it would take to travel to work, also the eggshell is extremely durable even on the roughest asphalt.

It was thoroughly successful, however I lost my job three weeks after when I lost the arson case.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Ever heard of the proverb "an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"

Well it's false.

The doctor came round to my house to check my blood pressure, and asked if he could have a look in our attic. No idea why, but he said it was vitally important.

After hearing some rummaging around, banging and hammering noises we went up to see what he was up to.

To our amazement, he told us to "get out of my surgery". He had made a makeshift table and used a bucket for his chair, busily typing away on his laptop and chatting away on his phone.

Two hours later a smartly dressed attractive woman turns up, asking about the receptionist job.
Bemused, I said "no sorry you have the wrong address", when I was interrupted by the doctor who shoved me out the way and said "yes, Claire is it? come this way"...

She now works on the landing underneath the attic entrance, patients wait on the stairs and climb up a stepladder to his surgery/our attic.

Something had to be done, so we started eating apples, as the saying said. But he keeps turning up, going into the attic, doing his work. We've even tried throwing apples at him, but that hasnt helped.

I suppose there will come the inevitable day when we have to sign over the deeds of the house to him.
 
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