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Well, this subject is not easy. I just would like to hear from people about their own experiences.

I had a girlfriend for like 4 years. By the beggining of this year, we talked several times and decided it would be best for both of us to part ways. We keep on being friends, and that's REALLY exhaustingly awkward at times.
Anyway, as soon as the relationship finished, I entered this new stage in my life, what I am calling "the space between". It means, I just lost a significant other (really significant as you can tell considering all the time we spent together), but didn't find myself another one, and don't even think I'm ready to look for one yet.

Last week, something happened that made me think about a couple of things. I was in a national architecture conference here in Brazil, alone in another city. You can imagine there were certainly some really nice women walking around and all, so I flirted a little here and there. :p :devil:

And then it happened. I was checking some academical designs on the walls when I heard a girl's voice speaking about something with a friend. Her speech was so great that it caught my attention. I turned around to see where it was coming from, and then the vision of perfection hit my eyes like an arrow of fire. In seconds, we were exchanging stares, and then smiles. I melted. :hearts:
And then I saw the conference ID hanging in her neck. And I froze. Her name was the same of my ex-girlfriend's. :eek:
I walked around that place for several minutes, and the girl did the same. Both of us waiting for a move from the other, I think. I couldn't do it, because as I said I froze. And she wouldn't do it either, as most women here don't have that habit, unfortunately.

In the end, as millions of people were walking around, I lost her in the middle of the crowd, and was left with a look, a first name, and a half-broken heart. And didn't see her anymore.
I didn't take it that seriously, of course, since it was just a couple of words and the firing eyes that got me hooked, and I didn't get to really know the girl... But I was extremely disapointed in myself for not trying anything. For what she said and how she looked at me, odds were that something could have grown out of there.
I still have that damned ID name flashing, and the giant deja-vu sensation haunting me.

So, as I had never been in such a situation before, it would be nice to know that I'm not fucked up or something like that. lol
Anyone can speak of experience, or maybe has some view on this that could be of some help?
I'd like to hear something. Thanks in advance. :wavey:
 

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Well I cant say so myself, but I have met people I thought I had a connection with, and lost them in a crowd/club etc
 

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Hi Hitman! :wavey: I haven't had the exact same circumstances that you did. But I have met someone I instantly liked and then lost track of her becasue I didn't get a last name or phone number. I really enjoyed reading about your experience. Your emotions were real and I feel for you. I hope you run into her again someday! :D
 

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I had a girlfriend for like 4 years. By the beggining of this year, we talked several times and decided it would be best for both of us to part ways. We keep on being friends, and that's REALLY exhaustingly awkward at times.
No need to read any more... when a man and woman are physically attracted to each other (which obviously took place since you were together for 4 years) you CANNOT just be friends. Either ask to keep fucking her, or completely get her out of your mind... because all you will do is suffer like this.
 

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:wavey: hey hitman...if you broke up in january/february, after four years, don't expect to be ready just yet and don't beat yourself up for not pouncing on the opportunity to meet someone new. most likely, it would have failed anyway because you're still fresh out of a relationship, and she had your ex's name. don't look. the best things hit you over the head when you least expect them to.

i once met someone who looked dreamily at me for the better part of the night from across a dance floor. he had this smile that just would not go away. i noticed that he never got up to dance, and he never drank. every time i looked in his direction, he was smiling at me, and by the end of the evening, i asked someone, "who is the guy in blue at table 12?" to which this acquaintance answered, "oh, that's bob the blind guy from paris! he's here with his cousin ramon!" that's when i realized that not all of the smiles from across a crowded room were meant for me.

i have a question though...why is it, that after four years, you ended it? what went wrong? and, more importantly...what are the chances that it will be revived again? :confused:
 

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Don't worry Hit, you aren't fucked up, lol!

It's extremely frustrating when this happens and then if you have nothing else to occupy your mind later on, then you just think if only and get it out your head.
The once that sort of thing happened to me was actually at Wimbledon two years ago, I was at a match involving Goran, in fact it was Goran v Moya. The girl next to me was supporting Goran as well and we spoke a little but like in your situation both of us were too shy to say anything. So lol probably what I'm saying is if that happened to me, then it probably happens to most ;)

I know it was probably the fact she had the same name as your ex that freaked you out and scared you into not saying anything. I suppose with you knowing her name, you could start a search of everyone with that name in Brazil! Ok crap advice I know! :eek: The other frustrating part will be that the girl will probably be saying to her friend that was with her, I wish I'd been able to speak more to that guy (obviously you), but me saying that will make it more frustrating for you, I'm not helping am I? :eek:

You never know what fate might bring, you might run into her one day again. But what it does show is that, you are probably ready to move on and actually start thinking about being with someone else again. So although you may never see that girl again, in the long run the experience of flirting and the feeling of regret of not saying anything will be helpful to you :)
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Leena, I guess it would be a lot simpler that way, yes. I dont know about you, but I couldnt keep on fucking someone that means a lot and that was with me for all that time after we broke up. It just wouldnt feel right. But thats just me. To each their own. ;)

hey Diva (quite a suggestive name you got, huh? ;))
Thanks for the words.
Nothing happened really. We have some problems on our very fundamentals. Like, we are totally different in habits, likes and dislikes, ways of thinking. The love was enough to keep it live for that long, so it was really big. But as someone says, a long lasting relationship aint made of only love. The rest is important, and we couldnt make it work right. So we broke up.
Not an interesting story at all. :p

And you Llama there, thanks mate. ;)
I know I should take it easy, I just cant forgive myself yet. :p You would probably be kicking me had you seen her. :p lol
 
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Well, I remember this one particular guy in high school that I literally humped my pillows over at night. He was absolutely drop dead gorgeous and he was a Russian exchange student. That's probably why I didn't make a move on him because of the language thing. He spoke some English but he sounded like a muffled Mikhail Gorbachov. But damn if he wasn't as fine as cat hair. I'm talking Marat Safin fine. Well, just when I thought I might make my move, he had to go back home. :rolleyes: We were kind of friends so I told him bye and he did the euro kiss thing and that was that. I should have gotten an address... an email one at the very least but I'm a chicken shit offline so yeah. I've since found steady boots to knock but I miss him. He had a great laugh.
 

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hitman said:
hey Diva (quite a suggestive name you got, huh? ;))
Thanks for the words.
Nothing happened really. We have some problems on our very fundamentals. Like, we are totally different in habits, likes and dislikes, ways of thinking. The love was enough to keep it live for that long, so it was really big. But as someone says, a long lasting relationship aint made of only love. The rest is important, and we couldnt make it work right. So we broke up.
Not an interesting story at all. :p
lol...suggestive is as suggestive does. you're welcome. i thought maybe there might be a chance of reuniting but if it is as you say and the likes and dislikes are way off, then you're in the right place. i hope you're still friends. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Martian Martin said:
Hit, I didn't see her but can I kick you anyway? :p

pff... :p llamas... :rolleyes:
 

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hitman:
first off, i love your avatar! :kiss: and it's good to see you. hope i can help.

OK it's almost impossible to become friends with an ex right away. you need to give each other some space first. that's the "space between" in another sense and you must have the courage to take it. tell her that you need some time away from her and then and only then will you really know if you are seeing her in other people or if it's just your imagination.

second, my sweetie is south-american as you know and i hate to put it this way but some of you south-american/Spanish-speaking folks seem to enjoy circulating the same names. i have run into so many guys with his name it's not funny. and the 'phone book is chuck full of them. i wouldn't lose any sleep over this if i were you! :kiss:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
hi tc. yeah, long time no talk. ;)
Im not losing sleep at all. lol
When I wrote this, I was pissed off for letting a good opportunity pass. The name thing was just something that got me shocked for some moments, and that was enough to screw it all up. :p
I got over it quickly, but then the girl was gone and I never saw her again. Oh well, maybe something better is around, although I find it almost impossible to get any better. :p
And the name thing, its just some major jinx. The girl had the same name as my ex-gf, who had the female version of my own name, that is the same as my fathers, and also my step-fathers. :p lol
I dont expect you to understand that. Its a major mess. ;)

Anyway, I talked to my ex-gf some hours ago, the coincidence. ;) We are doing alright, me thinks. We talk like once or twice a week, mostly about bullshit. I guess its working okay by now. :)
I feel ready to move on to someone else. Lets see how it goes when I actually have time to be seen in public again, which will be in two weeks, if Im lucky. :(
Thanks for dropping by. :wavey:
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Oh, and about the avatar, its great, isnt it?
Best tennis player. E. V. E. R. ;)
 

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glad to hear that you're doing better already.

and no i am not surprised at the name coincidences given that you are from Brazil.

and Steffi still RULZ!!!!!!! :)
 

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hitman said:
I feel ready to move on to someone else. Lets see how it goes when I actually have time to be seen in public again, which will be in two weeks, if Im lucky. :(
Wow. Just, wow. 4 months for 4 years?

Guess its true: guys just heal faster.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Rebecca said:
Nah, hitman is just a heartless rat bastard :D
Awww, thank you! You know I love you too! :hearts:
 
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