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i need a good laugh! lol!

if any of you guys know a joke then tell me one!

thanks!!!
 

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3 men walked into a bar
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The 4th one ducked :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 

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A novice hacker (young guy) tried to get into a highly secured site.;)

He entered the word "penis" as his password.

He got the message: "your password is not long enought".:D
 

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best one READ HILARIOUS!!!!

"Fly buzzing"

There was a fly buzzing over pond. Fish saw it, said " if it drops 6 inches into pond i can get it". Bear saw fly. "If the fly drops siz inches into pond, the fish will get it, and i get fish.".Man sees fly."If it falls 6 inches into pond, fish will get fly, bear get fish, i get bear". Mouse sees fly. " if it drops 6 inches to pond, fish gets fly, bear gets fish, hunter gets bear and I get the hinters sandwhich". Cat sees fly." If the fly drops 6 inches into pond fish gets fly, bear gets fish, hunter gets bear, mouse gets hunters sandwhich, and i get the mouse". So happens Fly drops 6 inches into pond. Fish gets fly, bear gets fish, the hunter throws the cat into the water!!!

Moral of story??


When the fly drops 6 inches the pussy gets wet!!!!



Sorry I found that hilarious, i crack myself up!LOLLLOLOLOLLOL
 

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they're dumb blonde jokes but i don't want to be mean....

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run! She has a grenade in her mouth!

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back

Q: How do you make a one armed blonde fall out of a tree?
A: You wave and she'll wave back

Q: Why Did the blonde dye her hair black?
A: Because she heard that wearing black makes you hot!!

Q: There were some blondes and brunettes in a truck. They drove off a cliff into an ocean. The brunnettes escaped and swam to shore, but the blondes died, why?
A: They couldn't get the tailgate open!

Q: What do you call a blonde in the winter?
A: A frosted flake

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!

Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them.

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at UF?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?
A: Because she loved children.

Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?
A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved
 

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The one handed fisherman raised his hand and said he caught a fish this big.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

10 signs you're at a bad Mc Donalds.

10. Your quarter pounder has a long, thin tail.

9. The kid serving you has grill marks on his forhead.

8. Sign out front says, "No shirt, no shoes, no reason you can't get a job here".

7. Their Mayor Mc Cheese was caught in a hotel room smoking crack.

6. Blocking drive-thru is the blooted body of Wendy's founder Dave Thomas.

5. Manager takes a bite out of every burger to make sure it's ok.

4. In his photo, employee of the month is holding a mug shot number.

3. You spill vanilla shake and it burns a hole right through your pants.

2. A guy dressed as Ronald Mc Donald keeps asking you to touch his food.

1. Their slogan: "Did somebody say, "E Coli'?"



Oh and to add another 1 to the blonde jokes:

The blonde locked herself in the bedroom to study and prove she that is not dumb. A week later she comes out and her friend asks her, what's the capital of Montana? Blonde replies, "M" of course.
 

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I only know Belgiansjokes because I had a belgiansjokes book once but I better not tell one, to many Belgians here;)
 
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