[Fortitude]

My friend died because we couldn't remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept saying ''be positive'', but it's hard without him. :sad:

 

[Super Dave]

What gets wetter and wetter as it dries?

 

A towel

 

[Shifty-Eyed Dog]

Knock knock...Who's there?...Broken Pencil...Broken Pencil who?...

 

Never mind, it's pointless.

 

[Super Dave]

My math teacher called me average.

How mean!

 

[Super Dave]

Why did the painting go to jail?

It was framed.

 

[Super Dave]

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

 

Because she ran away from the ball

 

[aknox]

From Raymond

What did the fireman name his two sons?

 

Jose and Hose B

 

[Matmagix]

What message did the broken phone get after being dumped by his girlfriend?

 

"If you liked me you should have put a ring on it."

 

[Matmagix]

a fly starts a conversation with a dog

-what kind of dog are you?
-a wolfdog
-what does this mean?
-that my father was a wolf and my mohter was a dog, what kind of a fly are you?
-a horse-fly
-cut the [email protected]@lshit

Can't stop laughing at this one, genius

 

[Super Dave]

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Hey! I serve a drink named after you."

The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Dave?"

 

[Ban Boy]

 

[Matmagix]

Timmy: I'm Hungary.

Mum: Why don't you Czech the fridge?

Timmy: OK I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum: Hmmm.. may be you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy: Yeah but its all covered in Greece. yuck!

Mum: There is Norway you can eat that, but you can have the Chile instead.

Timmy: Oman!

Mum: Yemen!

 

[Super Dave]

I'm terrified of elevators.

I'm taking steps to avoid them.

 

[Super Dave]

What travels around the world, but stays in one corner?

 

A stamp.

 

[Super Dave]

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason...details are sketchy.

 

[Super Dave]

What did one hat say to another?

"You stay there, I'll go on a head."

 

[Super Dave]

Which months have 28 days?

 

All of them.

 

[Shifty-Eyed Dog]

What did one hat say to another?

"You stay there, I'll go on a head."

What did the tie say to the hat? "You go on a head, I'll hang around."

 

[Super Dave]

What did the 0 say to the 8?

"Nice belt!"

 

[Super Dave]

On the other hand,
you have five different fingers.