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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
August 3, 2003

NEW YORK -- In an effort to try and maintain the high ratings that was received from the 2002 U.S. Open women's final featuring Venus and Serena Williams, CBS has acquired the use of the top female tennis player in the world, Serena Williams, and the top athlete/model in the world, Anna Kournikova.



"We, at CBS, are confident that we can receive fine performances from these two talented women in their new working capacities," said vice president of CBS sports broadcasting, Randy Griphard. "They will not only bring in aspects of tennis strategy, but fashion, movies and music as well," continued Griphard.

The two will not only work in the broadcast booths, but as at large commentators with access to the players and the locke rooms that few reporters can boast of having at their disposal.



"I will be wearin some of my own designs and I will shamlessly hype my role in my Showtime movie coming up very soon," Williams said in a phone interview from Los Angeles. "I I welcome all challanges in life and I am sure that I will be successful in the project as well. I can even keep Pam (Shriver) from making her usual vindictive digs against Venus (Williams) whenever there is a broadcast of my sister's matches that she and John (McEnroe) are covering. You will hear a broadcaster say nice things about Venus for a change," Williams said in the conclusion of the interview.

No information was out on whether the outrageous father of the Williams sisters, Richard, will also be given his turn at the microphones during the Open, but when ratings are at stake, who can tell.

"I know that I will do an excellent job as I have done in my tennis career," Kournikova said during a lunch at the Beverly Hills Palms restaurant. "People will see that I can speak, can be an actress, how cute I look without a racket in my hands and will know, once and for all, that I am not pregnant," Kournikova surprisingly blurted out.
"I will also be wearing short, tight cute outfits like Serena, that CBS has given me and I know that I will bring up their ratings, even if has those two dull Belgians are playing in the final," Kournikova continued as she drank her fourth cosmoploitian.

Kournikova ended the interview when asked if a person who never won a title was knowledgeable enough to be an expert analyst during a Grand slam event. She did, however, look stunning in her desert pink Anne Kline summer mini dress before she, unfortunately, stumbled over the dessert cart during her hasty exit and ended up covered in Belgian white chocolate, whip cream and cherries. Needless to say, many customers, both male and female, offered to remove the confectionaries from the body of the cute little Russian.

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TR :cool:
 

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lol that was great
 

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For you Tee .....



The Comic Toolbox: How to Be Funny Even If You're Not
by John Vorhaus
Available in Paperback
Only $10.47 at Amazon.com - CLICK HERE :D

 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
MR - It is always good to hear from one of my loyal biatches. :)

I hope that you learned something fom that book, my biatch. :p
 

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TeeRexx said:
MR - It is always good to hear from one of my loyal biatches. :)

I hope that you learned something fom that book, my biatch. :p
I only wish the book doubled as a spellchecker for you. LOL.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I should e-mail my post to CBS because if they had SERENA and the poser in that capacity, I would enjoy seeing VENUS play and win in the finals even more. :)
 

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TeeRexx said:
I should e-mail my post to CBS because if they had SERENA and the poser in that capacity, I would enjoy seeing VENUS play and win in the finals even more. :)
Just say "bump" next time. It's ok. Everybody does it. No need to try and disguise the obvious.
 

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No denial of a bump I see. :lol:
 

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There goes that word frigid again. I knew I hit on something.
 

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:lol:
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Hey, and you doubters thought that it was all a joke, eh?
I am psychic! :p

Half of the prediction has come to pass and next CBS will pick up on SERENA for their nightly telecast as well. :)

The Great TeeRexx :cool: :lol:
 
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