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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
ProTennisFantasy.com

"Where the Fantasy and Hardcore sports fans collide"

21 Aug 2003

As we all know, but don't like to talk about, Richard Williams is one of the four controlling 'Secret Powers' of the USTA. (BJK, Martina Nav and Bud Collins are the other three). These four get together every year and map out how tennis in the USA is going to go. Word is, Richard and Billie were incensed by Henin-Hardenne's treatment of Serena at Roland Garros. BJK was particularly incensed over not having the 'winners of the last 12 GS titles' on her Fed Cup team. Astute observers viewed this as a sure sign she intends to make peace with Jenni C. Anyway, RW and BJK browbeat Martina and Buddy boy into exacting revenge on Henin-Hardenne at the US Open.

BJK REALLY wanted Venus given the #2 seed, dropping Henin-Hardenne dropped to #3. But Svengali, Machiavelli, Rasputin Richard objected, declaring that "This infantile approach does not meet the exalted standards of the acknowledged Master, myself." Rumors of Bud Collins spiking Richard's coffee with Ex-lax proved false, but there was some resentment of his attitude. Still, all realized they couldn't rig the seeds TOO blatantly, but then realized that by NOT doing something, they could hide what they DID do.

Richard proposed that they simply seed the Belgians #1 and #2, then manipulate THEIR draws. In particular, they could arrange for the Evil Belgian to face a tough semi, while the Good Belgian was givena relative cakewalk. This would result in a Venus vs Kim final, with an expected repeat of their Wimbledon match.

And so it was done.

The 'Good' Belgian, Kim Clijsters was seeded to face Lindsay Davenport in the semis, who's she's beaten the last five straight times on US outdoor hardcourts. BJK objected on principle, having a thing for big strapping athlete types, but star power is star power, and vengence is vengeance. Lindsay would have to be sacrificed to the greater good and glory of BJK's Fed Cup team and the (hoped-for) total humialtion of Henin-Hardenne.

The 'Bad' Belgian, Justine Henin-Hardenne, would face the wrath of Big Sister, a player who's she's lost the last seven straight times to, on every concievable surface. "That Belgian shrimp festival can't touch the Goddess" either BJK gushed or Richard opined. (They were both VERY drunk at the time.) "Next time she puts up her hand, she BETTER acknowledge it, or that's the last Russian she EVER gets in the draw! In ANY American tournament!"

BJK lacks subtlety sometimes.

And so it was done. Venus was placed on Henin-Hardenne's side of the draw, and Lindsay on Kim's side.

"Is it REALLY okay to do this to Lindsay?"

"Well, she did marry a man."

Then just to be safe, no other hitters were placed in Henin-Hardenne's draw pre- the semis.

"No need to let her prepare, right?"

You can't beat Martina Nav fo focus on the details.

Photos of Richard, BJK, Martina and Bud dressed as the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse (with tennis rackets) will be available, on a VERY limited basis, at usopen.org.
 

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Seems like someone is looking forward to their dream match. I hope you are emotionally ready if it happens.
 

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Very amusing Volcana :lol:
 

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LOL That was great!
 

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i thought it was good too :worship:
 

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Their plan is so hideously sinister, yet so simple and inconspicuous :mad:
 

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lol!
 

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Discussion Starter #8
caelestia said:
Their plan is so hideously sinister, yet so simple and inconspicuous :mad:
"It's so diabolically clever, no one will suspect!"
 
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