[Helen Lawson]

Look who is a recently added celebrity on our favorite web page. I would vote annoying, that little series stealer!

http://www.amiannoying.com/(jg4nctrsmrl3pb55h41xidiy)/view.aspx?id=11837&collection=-1

 

[Sally Struthers]

Oh my God. That little bitch is back after i thought I got rid of her for the final time! I don't know what to do with her Helen. SHe's like a cockroach. She just won't go away or die! Who do you have to know around here to hire a hit on her?

 

[Cam'ron Giles]

I cant see the link cause I'm at work...who are you two talking about?

 

[Helen Lawson]

Sal, you gotta follow through, hon, or get a better agent. What I hear is she's going in for breast reduction surgery in about a month, she's tired of those EEE melons of hers, they hurt and they haven't exactly gotten her any work. I've planned it so they'll be an "accident" during the procedure, that's all you need to know Sal, it's better off that you don't know anything else.

I can't believe she did that surprising topless scene in Big Bad Mama II. I mean, Sal, your career isn't what it used to be, but you never did a topless scene in a "B" movie. Big Bad Mama II was terrible, unless you count seeing a nude Angie Dickinson with the same gunfight scenes spliced in from the original Big Bad Mama. I thought the Conquerer was a bad career move for all involved, but Big Bad Mama II was worse!

We're talking about Danielle Brisebois, the "top heavy" daughter of Carol O'Connor who did the Archie Bunker's Place series.

 

[Sally Struthers]

I can't believe she did that surprising topless scene in Big Bad Mama II. I mean, Sal, your career isn't what it used to be, but you never did a topless scene in a "B" movie. Big Bad Mama II was terrible, unless you count seeing a nude Angie Dickinson with the same gunfight scenes spliced in from the original Big Bad Mama. I thought the Conquerer was a bad career move for all involved, but Big Bad Mama II was worse!

Well Hel, I did do How to Get a Man's Foot Out of Your Ass last year. I actually thought it was a gay movie about fisting but with feet. I wanted to cause some controversy to bolster my dwidling career... anyway it was more of a documentary. By the time I signed and read the script (my agent lied and said it was fine to do without reading it first) it was too late.

 

[Helen Lawson]

Did you give at least a lackluster/phoned in performance to get back at them?

Really, Sal, a foot fetish movie? Maybe you can get on the next Joe Millionaire, that foot fetish girl Sarah Kozer picked up a couple of gigs even though she came in second and was like a gazillion years older looking than the rest of the broads on the show. It was all due to that foot fetish/bondage stuff she did.

 

[Sally Struthers]

Did you give at least a lackluster/phoned in performance to get back at them?

Really, Sal, a foot fetish movie? Maybe you can get on the next Joe Millionaire, that foot fetish girl Sarah Kozer picked up a couple of gigs even though she came in second and was like a gazillion years older looking than the rest of the broads on the show. It was all due to that foot fetish/bondage stuff she did.

I have too much pride to give a bad performance.

I don't know what I was thinking. It must have been when I was depressed and desperate for a new role. I don't know. How do you think the whole Dinosaurs fiasco got started? I mean really... Dinosaurs?

 

[Joan Rivers]

AmIAnnoying.com? Another website where I come in the top 10 every year but I won't change. They aren't critics - they are success haters!