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I'm so current, I'm tomorrow.
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Discussion Starter #1
Ok, this is probably going to make me sound like a freak, but here goes. Today I took my mom out to lunch at a trendy restaurant. It was really no special deal, just a day of shopping and lunch. Anyway, and here's where I sound like a freak.... The waiter at the restaurant was very much to my liking. All I know is that he is very attentive, very attractive, and very nice (well, from the few sentences we actually spoke). Unfortunately the setting did not lend itself to actually talking to him more on a one on one basis. I did feel some 'vibe' or whatever you wanna call it. He was very prompt with anything we needed, often putting our requests ahead of other diners and he made a point to always make eye contact with me and ask if I needed anything else. The words "yes, your phone number, cutie" were on my tongue, but I couldn't just blurt that out. I could be making something out of nothing... but I've never had wait staff "linger" at my table, and always seem to be in the direct area of my table. He touched my arm like 5 times, I mean who does that? It was all very innocent, I'm sure... but I feel there was underlying currents.

The problem is, we went about 45 minutes to a completely different town for lunch... So it's not like he even lives close. I don't have a problem with a distance thing, per se... but how will I ever 'randomly' encounter him again? Do I stalk him at his place of business? That hardly seems fair. And what if I am just going crazy? How do I turn this 'random encounter' into maybe actually talking to him?

God, I really feel like a pathetic episode of Sex & The City. I guess I should pop in a DVD and see how Carrie & Co handle a similar situation.

Anyway, he may not even be interested in me, or men for that matter. But it just felt so wierd. There was something there.... but what exactly I have no idea.

Maybe it was just the soup.
 

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I'm so current, I'm tomorrow.
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49,309 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
I should have said this in that post too... I haven't actually dated for about 5 years. I have been too much into myself, my career, and travelling to really even focus on anyone else. And it wasn't like today I decided to find a hottie and fawn over him. It just kinda happened.

I've been 'off the market' and made myself completely unavailable for so long that it really never crossed my mind that I'm such a pathetic twat. :) So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that... since I have these feelings (can they be considered that?), for the first time since God knows when, doesn't that mean something? Or am I just at a vulnerable place where my defenses were down. Or contrastly are my eyes wide open now and I can see on what I might be missing? Or was this all just random?

I feel so stupid to put this all out there, but I'm having trouble making sense of any of it. I'm certainly not on a mission for a date,... it's quite frankly not entered my mind until I saw him today. So, what's up with that?
 

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Keeper of Venus & Serena,
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27,438 Posts
Go back to the restaurant and eat again. And again. And again, until you get the courage to talk to him ;)

A personal motto:

You have to make your opportunities

then

You have to take your opportunities


sounds like you've pretty much done the first part ;) now finish up on it. what's the worst that can happened? this is 45 mins away, right? so, the small chance of rejection occuring, you will never see him again...but i wouldn't worry about that. you seem pretty conservative when it comes to relationships, so if you truly felt something, i'm sure it was mutual.
 

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Devoted Capriati-Ite
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Soooooo we have yet another budding stalker here! ;) :p :devil:
 

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Chionophile
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Omg, just reading your two posts I just realized I'm in the same situation as you. Trust me, I've had a situation like yours too. Except mine was with a family 'friend' (We see each other like once a year, you know during Christmas, etc..) and I'm not out to my family, so it's basically a no-no. I still don't even know if he's gay.

Anyway, as you can see I'm in NO position to give advice. This may sound a bit weird but if he is far away, why don't you go there and ask him again, so even if it is a 'no', at least you won't see him again? I mean see there's a cute guy that works my local video store and I can't as well do that can I? Unless if I want to go to another 'burb just to get videos. LOL!

Anyway, good luck in whatever you decide! ;)
 

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How can I meet any guys here if they're all gay? :sad:

Anyway, I don't know what to say... except that I sympathize with you. It must be extremely difficult to ask a random guy to go out with you.
 

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Good on you for your honesty! :D

Seles you need to confirm that those feelings were mutual. The only way to do so is by going back to that restaurant. If you worry that he may not be working when you go again, here's a possible solution. Did you catch his name by any chance? If you did, then have a female friend call the restaurant and inquire when the bloke will be working again so you can plan when to go. (A female friend coz if he's straight, they will be cooperative. If he's gay and they sense you're an admirer, they may not be so cooperative)

If you did NOT get his name, then go back (you may have to go several times if he isn't there when you go the first time) and eat there until you see him again.

If he recognises you, waits on you and behaves the same way (attentive), GET HIS NAME. After you've settled the bill, say good bye. When you get to your car, get on your mobile and call the restaurant. Ask to speak to the waiter and if they say he's busy tell them that you will hold.

When he finally comes on, identify yourself and ask him if he fancies meeting for a cuppa or a drink (something casual like that).

I wish you luck and I think you should be mentally prepared for rejection. There is a possibility that he may fancy you as you do him but then again there's the possibility that he's an outgoing waiter who enjoys his job (I realise you said he was more attentive to you and your mum than to others but it could've been a coincidence.

You should be prepared as well that you may not fancy him when you see him again. You said you've socially been a hermit for awhile so you may have simply 'overreacted' to what was good customer service.

Good luck, Seles! I hope it turns out well for you! :wavey:
 

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seles...no guts, no glory. go back, find it if it's mutual and go from there. if not? at least what sam said is true. you never have to see him again.
 

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I'm so current, I'm tomorrow.
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Discussion Starter #9
This is so pathetic... I've thought about him incessantly all last night and all day today. I just can't get him out of my head. I've never had theses feelings before. I mean, it's kinda scary. I'm usually very "with it" but since I saw him, he is all I can think about. I do remember another waitress call him Andy... so that much I do know. I see a trip up north in my future. I'm going to have to do it.

But since I don't know his schedule... do I go back the same day of the week at the same time? Should I call ahead and ask if Andy is working? How do I sound less freakish than I feel?
 

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I'm so current, I'm tomorrow.
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Discussion Starter #10
He had the most perfect teeth and smile, the deepest voice ever, and was just so nice and polite. I left a $15 tip, so maybe I can use that to make him remember me. (I mean our bill was $35 and I left a $50 for him). I should think that should stand out... maybe?
 

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Chionophile
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Seles said:
He had the most perfect teeth and smile, the deepest voice ever, and was just so nice and polite. I left a $15 tip, so maybe I can use that to make him remember me. (I mean our bill was $35 and I left a $50 for him). I should think that should stand out... maybe?
I think that'll make you stand out! ;)

I don't think you should call and ask when he's working there. If somebody did that to me, I'd be really freaked out. :eek: Just go there again sometimes, I guess.
 

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You sound just like my sister, lol
If you like this guy, go for it. A lot of men like when women take the initiative. It'll go one of two ways: 1) he'll say yes, you're happy, you go on dates, and hump like rabbits, or 2) he says no, and you never go back to that restaurant. What do you have to lose, really?
 

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I'm so current, I'm tomorrow.
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Discussion Starter #13
Thanks for all your advice guys... I really feel like a fool, but I can't ignore my feelings. Jesus, I'm 28 and acting like a frickin' high schooler. I am pathetic.


:eek:
 

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Seles said:
Thanks for all your advice guys... I really feel like a fool, but I can't ignore my feelings. Jesus, I'm 28 and acting like a frickin' high schooler. I am pathetic.


:eek:
No you're not ;)
I'd lock up in front of such a bodaciouslly hot dude at first...but then I'd get over it and ask for his number, lol ;) Go for it, chicky ;)
 

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Sam L said:
On a lighter note, I've been to restaurants where I can't afford to that. Because the food is too good! :drool: Was this restaurant one of those, Seles? ;)
That's why you should only go to chain restaurants!!!
We have like five Chili's around here, so I can strike out up to four times, lol
 

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GBFH said:
That's why you should only go to chain restaurants!!!
We have like five Chili's around here, so I can strike out up to four times, lol

lol...gbfh, there is absolutely no way you can strike out at a chili's unless you did something weird and unforgettable there...lol. so what did you do, huh? ;)
 

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Sam L said:
LOL! I know what you mean. :D Actually we only have 1 Chilli's around our area, so it's a chain for us here in Australia. :sad:
:eek:
Do you at least have mexican food?????
 

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DeuceDiva said:
lol...gbfh, there is absolutely no way you can strike out at a chili's unless you did something weird and unforgettable there...lol. so what did you do, huh? ;)
NOTHING! :eek:
Well...there was an unfortunate incident with some lee press-on nails, but that's all....honest...
 
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