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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Today I found out that my gf (well kind of) is pregnant. What do I do? I am going to stand by her, but shes only 17 and I'm only 18. I dont even like her that much, it was more of a sex thing and now this has happened. Just when life was at its best too. I'm fucked..
 

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that is why safe sex is essential,and for Aids of course
 

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rebel_ffighter said:
that is why safe sex is essential,and for Aids of course
That advice is not really going to help now, is it? :rolleyes:

First, good decision to stand by her side :yeah:

If you feel this way, have you talked about the possibility of abortion? The most important thing to do right now is to talk about your futures and the future of the baby in case you decide to keep the baby. How does she feel about it?
 

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you need to involve your family and her family
i think when poeple get babys in this age they need a good family behind with a lot of support, and then all could turn out fine
 

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Discussion Starter #6
arn said:
That advice is not really going to help now, is it? :rolleyes:

First, good decision to stand by her side :yeah:

If you feel this way, have you talked about the possibility of abortion? The most important thing to do right now is to talk about your futures and the future of the baby in case you decide to keep the baby. How does she feel about it?
Shes really freaked out. Our parents don't know atm. I kind of want her to have an abortion, but I'm not going to make that decision for her. Her parents are hard out like 'god squad' and they would not want her to have an abortion. We can not just go and do it because her with her being 17, her parents need to sign the forms and shit.

btw, we were safe, so I dont know what happened. This may sound really shallow, but the baby may not be mine, shes quite a popular girl (if you know what I mean) so....I want to have some kind of test done. But I cant just ask her now can I?!
 

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arn said:
That advice is not really going to help now, is it? :rolleyes:

First, good decision to stand by her side :yeah:

If you feel this way, have you talked about the possibility of abortion? The most important thing to do right now is to talk about your futures and the future of the baby in case you decide to keep the baby. How does she feel about it?
It isnt but it is insane nowadays to not know that unprotected sex can have such results!...and especially since he says it was ony "a sex thing"

There isnt much you can do...Either she will keep the baby and you will be next to her (or not) or she will have an abortion.But please dont marry her or anything since u dont want her,it would ruin the lives both of you
 

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~Bakers Boy~ said:
btw, we were safe, so I dont know what happened. This may sound really shallow, but the baby may not be mine, shes quite a popular girl (if you know what I mean) so....I want to have some kind of test done. But I cant just ask her now can I?!
The possibility then of being ur baby are minor...I think she might not be sincere to you and she uses you.Find out before you do anything
 

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~Bakers Boy~ said:
btw, we were safe, so I dont know what happened. This may sound really shallow, but the baby may not be mine, shes quite a popular girl (if you know what I mean) so....I want to have some kind of test done. But I cant just ask her now can I?!
I would make sure tests are done (and I'm a girl). If the baby is yours then you are doing the right thing in taking responsibility for it. But if it's not, then it is not your responsibility in any way.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I'm so mixed up right now! Does anyone know how long it takes before some sort of test can be done?
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I was safe, and she told me she was on the pill. I did ask her (when she told me) if it was mine. And she just started crying and saying stuff like 'do you think I'm just some cheap slut or somthing?'...I felt so bad. How can I ask her now?
 

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If you were using condoms plus she was on the pill, then the chances of it being your baby are slim to nil.
If you suspect it's not your child, you should be pushing for a paternity test, regardless of how bad she makes you feel about it. Just make sure she realises that if it is your baby, you will be there for her and for the child.
 

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Hey Bakers Boy,

This must be so hard for the both of you... I can imagine that you're getting all kinds of advises from many different people right now, so I hope you can find a way to filter that into something that's useful for you... If I might give you my advise (feel free to listen to it or not, I really have no ambition at all to sound like a know-it-all here, on the contrary as I don't have any experience with this, but anyway): I think the most important thing right now is to find out whether you both want the baby and are prepared to commit yourselves to this (which is HUGE, probably the biggest commitment and responsability in a human being's life, but it's also worth SO much I think, to be able to raise a child!). Do you both REALLY want to do this? I think that's the biggest question right now. The organizing part comes later. Talking (to her and both your families) is what would seem very useful right now in my humble (unexperienced) opinion. What's also really important is of course to be totally sure that the baby is yours, but I don't know if this is the appropriate time to find that out... I also think it's absolutely GREAT that you've decided to stand by her side! :yeah: :worship: That takes LOADS of courage!

Wish you the very best, this 'll be a tough time, but you'll pull trough!
 

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you can get a test done at around 8 weeks - but only during a 3 week window - it's generally considered too risky after that. and it costs quite a bit - about £700 in the UK. no idea how much elsewhere.

you should both talk to something like Marie Stopes clinic to discuss your options:
http://www.mariestopes.org.uk/ww/index.htm
It's worldwide but if not near you google a similar type thing.

Good luck either way.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
danra said:
you can get a test done at around 8 weeks - but only during a 3 week window - it's generally considered too risky after that. and it costs quite a bit - about £700 in the UK. no idea how much elsewhere.

you should both talk to something like Marie Stopes clinic to discuss your options:
http://www.mariestopes.org.uk/ww/index.htm
It's worldwide but if not near you google a similar type thing.

Good luck either way.
:wavey: Thanks!
 

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myxomatosis said:
If you were using condoms plus she was on the pill, then the chances of it being your baby are slim to nil.
If you suspect it's not your child, you should be pushing for a paternity test, regardless of how bad she makes you feel about it. Just make sure she realises that if it is your baby, you will be there for her and for the child.
Exactly. And thanks for giving that advice.

Because you both are so young, it would be advisable to include your parents in any decision you both make. There are many options available, including adoption, abortion and keeping the child, all of which are a personal decision and should be made in consultation with the parents involved.

Just because you are both so young doesn't mean that your life is ruined because of the birth of a child. It may make it a little tougher initially to achieve goals you've set forth in life, but all of those goals are still attainable as long as you have faith and motivation. Chances are that if she is pregnant and you choose to keep the baby, you'll have tons of help from the grandparents and people close to you. :yeah:

Keep your head up! (well, you know what I mean)
 

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Bakers Boy :eek: :sad:
That just sucks :sad:
 
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