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My brother has just got back from Wimbledon where he has been working as a security guard. Whilst there he witnessed the following scene. The names of the players have been changed to protect their identities but I will call them Lindsay and Jen.

Lindsay and Jen are sat in the changing rooms waiting for the rain to stop, Lindsay is dressed all in white and doing a crossword whilst drinking a diet Coke. Jen is sat in her bra and knickers and a pair of socks rolled down to her ankles. She is supping a Budweiser whilst smoking a cigarette.

Lindsay: Jen, do you, I mean., think the British police will put us in prison if they catch you smoking in here?

Jen: Jeez, I hope so, I’ve heard great things about the British women’s prisons. Anyway, never mind that, try saying it again for me.

Lindsay: F.., Fu.., F.., I can’t Jen, I mean, I just cannot bring myself to say it.

Jen: Lindsay, it’s just a word, just let me hear you swear once, say “Fuck”, please.

Lindsay: Ok, I mean, I’ll try, F..,Fu..,F.., no it’s still no good, it’s like, I mean, when I,m at home in bed with Jon and we have farting contests, I mean, he always wins I just cannot bring myself to do it in front of him.

Jen: Farting, now that is something I am really good at. If there were Grand Slams for farting, I would have won 100, they would have had to rename me Martina Evert-Graf or something.

Lindsay: I know, I mean, everyone knows how good you are.

Jen: Remember that time in the Olympics when those Russian women athletes challenged us to a super power farting contest in our room?

Lindsay: They were women, I mean, gosh, one of them was kissing you and stuff.

Jen: Yeh, they were women, mighty fine women at that. There was no way they were going to beat me at farting though. After an hour they were totally exhausted and I just about managed to force out a winning one.

Lindsay: Oh I remember now, I mean, you were so committed you followed through, I mean, I was so proud of you being a fellow American and all that.

Jen: Anyway, that’s in the past, try saying “Fuck” again.

Lindsay: F..,Fu,F.., I mean, it’s just no good.

OFFICIAL: Play to commence in 10 minutes.
 

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Please... LIndsay's just as big a potty mouth as Jen if not bigger
 

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It's obvious this is fake.

















Jen and Lindsay were never on the same Olympic team. ;)
 

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Sally, i was just gonna say the same thing...who here actually believes what the media have said about Lindsay being Americas girl next door? sure, if ya wanna hear her big mouth too. No Jens nothing compared to Lindsay. SHe says an occasional "fuck" but thats usually at her father or the mothers who bring the babies to the matches.


funny stuff tho, in a ludacrus and really really gross kind of way.
 
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Actually, Lindsay admits to her compulsiveness to swear on court...
 

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jacs said:
Actually, Lindsay admits to her compulsiveness to swear on court...
ya and off court too... i think she was quoted as saying something like "i'm a total bitch out there" :cool:

Lindsay :worship: :lol:
 

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Sally, she just acts like it...she looks like a total bitch when she hangs her head? no she just looks like a loser. But honestly she does swear, and so do most people jen just gets flack for it because it sells more newspapers...they make her out to be ungratefull...like shes some brat or something...Jens just real, and Lindsays real too...so basically they just are both real, lol.

just so everyone understand, my deffinition of 'real' means they swear, they smoke and they dont give a damn about it.

peace.
 
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