I hate when I feel guilty about doing the things I love. My latest feelings of guilt have been when I have been playing tennis. One part of my brain is saying, "You love doing this, so have fun with it. Forget everything else for now." But another part of my brain is nagging me to do something more constructive with my life. I've just finished uni, so maybe when I've found myself a job, those particular feelings of guilt will go away. If they don't, I will seek help.
I hate when I compare myself to others. I guess I do this as a way of relating to people. If I'm not equal or better in status compared to them, I usually don't feel worthy enough to be around them. I feel guilty...
I hate that I have so much guilt instilled within me. Maybe I should seek help right away. It can't be healthy to feel guilty all the time.
One weird thing about me is that I look at people's butts. Whether they are young, old, beautiful, ugly, male, female, animal or vegetable, I feel compelled to check out derrieres. You can't really tell much about a person by looking at their butt, except perhaps how much they work out or something, so I don't know what started this weird habit. It's not always a sexual thing either. That's what makes it strange. I have never been slapped or admonished for doing it, so maybe if that happens, I may stop doing it. But on the plus, I've seen some really nice butts. Male AND female. <img src="wink.gif" border="0">
Strangely, I never feel guilty for checking people out. hehe.
On the flipside, when I meet people, I look directly into their eyes. Sometimes it intimidates them. Other times, they immediately lower their defences and are friendly. It's pot luck, but I usually get an idea of what someone's like by looking into their eyes.
