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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, I coudn't help myself and had to much free time :)

Announcer: Hello everyone and welcome to the first all tennis celebrity edition of THE WEAKEST LINK! Here's your hostess you all love to hate, Ann!

Ann: Welcome everyone. Let us get on with it and introduce this weeks celebrity contestants. Please, introduce yourselves and the charity you each are playing for.

Serena: Hi Ann! I'm Serena Williams and today I'm playing for the United Inner City Tennis Fund of America.

Martina: Hello, I am Martina the "Queen of Tennis"Hingis, like Michael Jackson, he is the "King of Pop", so I am the Queen of Tennis. Charity, what is this chairity word mean?

Lindsay: Hey there Ann, I'm Lindsay Davenport...

Anna: Davey! Did you know they call you davey on the internet! I know, I saw, I am now on-line all the time.

Lindsay: Hey I believe it was my turn to intro...

Martina: No wonder I never see her in tournaments anymore.

Anna: I had an injury!

Lindsay: Hey I believe it...

Martina: Carpal tunnel is not a tennis injury.

Anna: Puffy!

Lindsay: Hey I believe...

Martina: Why is she calling me a rap star?

Venus: Omigod people, get it together, will you?

Lindsay: Thanks Venus. Now I be...

Martina: Hmph, I am the Queen of Tennis not a rap...

Jennifer: Like, you know, can you just let like Davey introduce herself already, like sheesh! I'm like the comeback story of the year and like I have interviews to do and, you know, people to talk to.

Lindsay: Who are you calling Davey? And I thought you hated the media?

Jennifer: What? Like I only hate them, you know, like when they talk about me, you know?

Lindsay: No, I don't know. The media never talks about me. Never. It's like I don't even exist in the tennis scheme of things. Like I'm in some freaking vacuum...

Serena: Whoa you guys got Lindsay fired up.

Martina: Thats good, yes? Usually she is like a walking corpse on the court.

Anna: Lurch!

Lindsay: It's always Venus this or Capriati that! I still play the game here people! I do have three grandslams! Is it too much to ask to get an interview or an endorsement deal thrown my way? I am the number one player in the world right now!

Martina: Wait, since when I was number one in the world, I really wasn't the number one in the world, so does that mean I am now the true number one because I am no longer number one?

Venus: Guys do really want to get into that "number one" crap?

Jennifer: Like, you know, just shut up miss forty million dollar contract.

Serena: Hey she never brought that up, the media did and besides her endorsement is good for all of tennis!

Venus: Thanks Serena.

Serena: No problem, V.

Martina: Good for me? How is this good for me? Where is my cut? She is not good for me because I am no longer the number one player in the world, am I?

Anna: No, you are the player formerly known as the number one tennis player in the world! Ha!

Jennifer: Like you can talk, you know? Haven't, like, you married that hockey team yet?

Anna: No, no that is so yesterdays news. I am now dating the cast of Oz. I will be on tv next season.

Venus: Okay, thats one endorsement I definitely don't want.

Serena: I hear you, V.

Lindsay: Can I at least get a cameo appearance?

Anna: Yes, you can be the prison matron.

Martina: Just threaten to smack her, Lindsay. She shuts up because a hard smack might dislodge her boob job.

Venus: Did she just say boob?

Serena: Yeah, she just said boob.

Anna: You are all just insanely jealous because I am the most beautiful player in tennis and all the fans love me!

Lindsay: Yeah well if im ever loved that much by thirty five year old men who take my magazine covers into the bathroom with them, then just shoot me, okay?

Serena: Ewww.

Venus: Gross.

Jennifer: Whoa, you know, like after that, you know, like I don't even want any magazine covers or interviews anymore. I hate the media.

Martina: Jennifer never makes sense. I mean you always on ESPN saying you "hate the media". If you hate the media then stop talking to them so much, yes?

Jennifer: Like, anway, I'm jennifer capriati and, you know, like I'm playing for the Teen Drug and Alcohol Kleptomaniac Juvenile Delinquency fund.

Anna: Oh, like that is a surprise. She forgot to add the "for former Burnt-out Tennis Primadonnas on Steroids" part.

Lindsay: Ouch.

Venus: Low blow.

Serena: Yeah, Definitely below the belt.

Anna: Belt? Are you talking about my belt? You Williams sisters and your fashion school are always talking about people! You sisters are not ladies! I am a true lady.

Serena: Anna you're not a lady, you're a blow up doll.

Venus: Oh, Serena you shouldn't sink to her level.

Serena: You're right V.

Venus: But that was a good one!

Serena: Thanks!

Martina: You Williams sisters double team everyone. I mean you always take each others side. I think it must be a black thing, yes?

Venus: Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Serena: Unfortunately.

Martina: See, they didn't deny...

Lindsay: Um, Martina they are sisters after all. Buy a clue already.

Anna: We can buy clues on this game? I would like to buy a clue because I am rich and beautiful.

Venus: I think thats a different game, right Anne?

Serena: Anne?

Lindsay: Anne?

Anna: Where did she go? I did not even introduce myself, even though I need no introduction. I am playing for the Anna Kornikova Tennis Scholarship.

Venus: Anna, the hostess is gone. There is no game anymore.

Martina: That is too bad because her game could have made use of that scholarship. Maybe she could have bought a new coach, yes?

Serena: I am so playing with the guys next time.

Venus: I'm with you on that sis.

Anna: You sisters and always saying you can beat the men. You can not because I have all the men and they will play me not you.

Venus: Sigh.

Serena: Lets get out of here, V before they turn cannibal.

1,537 Posts

Definitely rocks. Cool imagination.

Love Lindsay's role in this one. I'm looking foward to the next part.

2,282 Posts
Good One On 'Ya Cyb

Great one Cyb. You should bring out your "post a pic and a quote" up in here. That was a great thing you did w/it.

Serena: "I'm the acting Queen - so I have no time for this."
Venus: "Yeah - and I'm the Designing & Decorator Queen - so what am I doing here?" "Let's jet."
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