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(Reuters)- Thirty-five year-old Steffi Graf, fresh off of being inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame this past week in Newport, RI, held a surprise news conference in Los Angeles today, announcing her return to professional tennis after a five year absence from the tour. Graf, mother of two and wife of Andre Agassi, stated that she had secretly been practicing two-handed shots off both the forehand and backhand wing, and "feels sufficiently fit" to make a return to full-time tennis. She applied for, and received an early wildcard into the 2005 Australian Open, citing that, due to the physical limitations incurred by childbirth, she "would only play on the slower, higher bouncing surfaces", and would play a limited schedule of "only the Australian Open and French Opens in 2005, together with a few select tune-up events on the slower surfaces". Graf went on to state that her goal is to eventually overtake Margaret Court's record of 11 Australian titles (where nobody plays), and be crowned once and for all the undisputed greatest female tennis player of all time. She gave no indication of whether she would consider a return to Wimbledon, but cast a strong doubt by stating "We've had a Rebound Ace court installed at our compound, and it's no secret that grass is no longer my favorite surface".

Sources close to the Agassi compound in Las Vegas reported neighbors complaining for months about hearing shreiking and piercing screams coming from the backyard tennis court at the compound, as Graf apparently was practicing her two-handed drives with Andre at decibel levels far above the legal limit. Andre Agassi, who sat quietly at Steffi's side during most of the impromptu Los Angeles press conference, simply said "I didn't learn to change diapers for nothing!"

The WTA has yet to issue a ruling as to what kind of special protected ranking it will grant the returning Graf, however, CEO Larry Scott did say that an agreement with the players would be reached long before the 2005 rebound ace season begins.
 

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mboyle said:
that wasn't even funny:eek: .
Hey, it's Friday, and I'm tired, and thought the message boards needed a little filler fluff. Not going for it eh?:p
 

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Wow you REALLY have a LOT of time in your hands... Be more productive man.
 

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MinnyGophers said:
Wow you REALLY have a LOT of time in your hands... Be more productive man.
:sad: :bigcry: :bigcry: :tears: :tears: :sobbing: :timebomb:
 

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Oh, it wasn't that bad, was it? :) It was hard to believe though. For a second I was thinking that it would be cool if it was true. But just for a second.
 

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Well, you all say nothing about the TroLL threads that SharapovakissA$$ makes about the Williams Sisters. I damn sure don't think you all should be insulting an "obvious" attempt @ comedy.
 
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Pureracket said:
Well, you all say nothing about the TroLL threads that SharapovakissA$$ makes about the Williams Sisters. I damn sure don't think you all should be insulting an "obvious" attempt @ comedy.
I know that's right. :yeah:
 

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alfajeffster said:
(Reuters)- Thirty-five year-old Steffi Graf, fresh off of being inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame this past week in Newport, RI, held a surprise news conference in Los Angeles today, announcing her return to professional tennis after a five year absence from the tour. Graf, mother of two and wife of Andre Agassi, stated that she had secretly been practicing two-handed shots off both the forehand and backhand wing, and "feels sufficiently fit" to make a return to full-time tennis. She applied for, and received an early wildcard into the 2005 Australian Open, citing that, due to the physical limitations incurred by childbirth, she "would only play on the slower, higher bouncing surfaces", and would play a limited schedule of "only the Australian Open and French Opens in 2005, together with a few select tune-up events on the slower surfaces". Graf went on to state that her goal is to eventually overtake Margaret Court's record of 11 Australian titles (where nobody plays), and be crowned once and for all the undisputed greatest female tennis player of all time. She gave no indication of whether she would consider a return to Wimbledon, but cast a strong doubt by stating "We've had a Rebound Ace court installed at our compound, and it's no secret that grass is no longer my favorite surface".

Sources close to the Agassi compound in Las Vegas reported neighbors complaining for months about hearing shreiking and piercing screams coming from the backyard tennis court at the compound, as Graf apparently was practicing her two-handed drives with Andre at decibel levels far above the legal limit. Andre Agassi, who sat quietly at Steffi's side during most of the impromptu Los Angeles press conference, simply said "I didn't learn to change diapers for nothing!"

The WTA has yet to issue a ruling as to what kind of special protected ranking it will grant the returning Graf, however, CEO Larry Scott did say that an agreement with the players would be reached long before the 2005 rebound ace season begins.

LOL, :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

MONICA SELES , GREATEST FEMALE TENNIS PLAYER EVER :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
 

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j-mac said:
didnt she lose to virtually unknown kutuzova and kapros recently? :angel:
who was that "retired" "so yesterday" player that won 11 hollow Grand Slams because the top ranked player was stabbed. Who was that? :tape:


1993 Australian Open Final

Mary Carillo: "[Steffi's] actually playing better than when she played in '88 and won the Grand Slam. Everyone acts as though 'Well, you know, she's got to get it back, she's got to get it back.' I actually feel that Steffi has added a lot to her game. She's a better defensive player. She's got a better first serve than she used to. I think her slice backhand really works well. I mean, I happen to think that she's a better player than she was a few years ago, but she's facing an opponent that is just remarkable, and I think that's why she doesn't have the Grand Slams titles we're used to seeing from her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

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nice attempt at humor ;)
 

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alfajeffster said:
(Reuters)- Thirty-five year-old Steffi Graf, fresh off of being inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame this past week in Newport, RI, held a surprise news conference in Los Angeles today, announcing her return to professional tennis after a five year absence from the tour. Graf, mother of two and wife of Andre Agassi, stated that she had secretly been practicing two-handed shots off both the forehand and backhand wing, and "feels sufficiently fit" to make a return to full-time tennis. She applied for, and received an early wildcard into the 2005 Australian Open, citing that, due to the physical limitations incurred by childbirth, she "would only play on the slower, higher bouncing surfaces", and would play a limited schedule of "only the Australian Open and French Opens in 2005, together with a few select tune-up events on the slower surfaces". Graf went on to state that her goal is to eventually overtake Margaret Court's record of 11 Australian titles (where nobody plays), and be crowned once and for all the undisputed greatest female tennis player of all time. She gave no indication of whether she would consider a return to Wimbledon, but cast a strong doubt by stating "We've had a Rebound Ace court installed at our compound, and it's no secret that grass is no longer my favorite surface".

Sources close to the Agassi compound in Las Vegas reported neighbors complaining for months about hearing shreiking and piercing screams coming from the backyard tennis court at the compound, as Graf apparently was practicing her two-handed drives with Andre at decibel levels far above the legal limit. Andre Agassi, who sat quietly at Steffi's side during most of the impromptu Los Angeles press conference, simply said "I didn't learn to change diapers for nothing!"

The WTA has yet to issue a ruling as to what kind of special protected ranking it will grant the returning Graf, however, CEO Larry Scott did say that an agreement with the players would be reached long before the 2005 rebound ace season begins.
The greatest comback.
I'm sure she will win all matchs,if only she will be allowed to disturb the rivals with that piercing screams.
 

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Why do some posters have to turn any thread into a Graf/Seles fight? :help: Nobody is able to say anything new about that anyway. To read about the "hollow slams" for the xth time is soooo not interesting.
 
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