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Discussion Starter #1
I came out earlier this year and joined a local gay center as a volunteer. I figured helping others who were just coming out would help me as well. Overall it's been a positive experience except occasionally there are times when I'm in the presence of other gay men and they say things that make me embarassed, even ashamed to be gay. Here's an example:

Yesterday we had a carnival fundraiser and we had a game room where people who attended could take on the center's staff in a game of Trivial Pursuit. We all had to wear big numbers pinned to our shirts and when they were assigning numbers to all the players, a judge asked: "WHO WANTS NUMBER 69?" Practically all the guys were raising their hands and yelling they wanted it, adding comments like "Would you like me to show you how much I want it?" or "That's me my number! Just ask everyone at The Hard Drive (a local gay bar)". :eek:

I know I'm sounding like a prude but I get just as embarassed when it's straight guys talking like that about girls.
 

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LOL! Sometimes the really nelly gays make me embarassed. I wonder if thats how they naturally act or if they are trying really hard...I'll never know...
 

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Bright Like Neon Love
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LOL...I would say "trying really hard." I don't believe that the majority of gay men act all "twirly and queeny" and whatever.
 

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Tart with a Heart
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The thing about being gay, I'm afraid, is that there's always gonna be someone around who makes you cringe.
 

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May be because I live in Paris, this kind of comportement is very usual and predictable.May be when I came out, I could find it "too much" because you have more or less to look for models and you think there's is no compatibility between these "crazy guys" and you.But for now, it's just funny even if I prefer not to have a man too excited in public.
Actually, I may act like this in the gay pride this month :eek:
 

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In my new place!!
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Yeah Im as gay as the next person, lol, but there's always going to be 'queens' out there that are going to make me say WTF.... Its doesnt make me embarassed to be gay, just embarassed for them sometimes :p
 

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I know what you mean... but the fact remains that most of us young gay guys don't know what it is like to live in silence and be afraid of who we are. The best freedom is being yourself!

Next time that happens, just laugh at them pretending to laugh with them!
 

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Keeper of Venus & Serena,
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Furthermore when you get embarassed by someone acting "feminine" that is the exact reason discrimination occurs today.

When you drop those barriers, you can learn to see the good in people and not judge them because they are "nelly" or "feminine" or whatever you want to call it.

Otherwise, you are just as homophobic as the ones who hate gays in general.
 

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Well i mean i would much prefer a 'man-like' gay boy(sorry don't know what's it in english)
 

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Richie77 said:
LOL...I would say "trying really hard." I don't believe that the majority of gay men act all "twirly and queeny" and whatever.

hello???? richie, leave the comforts of indiana for a moment and visit the tenderloin district in san francisco on any weekend night. twirling there is mandatory. ;) :wavey:
 

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Bright Like Neon Love
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DeuceDiva said:
hello???? richie, leave the comforts of indiana for a moment and visit the tenderloin district in san francisco on any weekend night. twirling there is mandatory. ;) :wavey:
Maybe, but what happens when these guys leave the tenderloin district? Do they still act twirly? Or did they just have to act a certain way in order to fit in? How many of those guys really act that way 24 hours a day? I don't care if it is San Francisco ;)

I still don't believe the majority of gays are twirly...in Indiana, San Francisco or anywhere. I'm not embarassed that some gays are twirly...in fact, I prob'ly get that way a little myself when I'm around a whole group of them. But I don't act that way 24 hours a day. You can't base an entire personality on what you see one or two nights a week.
 

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Not really embarassed but sometimes i think the gay scene is totally not for me cos i feel so different.

Once in a club i saw a guy acting so feminine in all his gestures, like the way he'd flick his cigarette and i was really annoyed by that cos i thought that was just too much. But then again it's also a question of personality i guess.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
VSFan1 aka Joshua L. said:
Furthermore when you get embarassed by someone acting "feminine" that is the exact reason discrimination occurs today.

When you drop those barriers, you can learn to see the good in people and not judge them because they are "nelly" or "feminine" or whatever you want to call it.

Otherwise, you are just as homophobic as the ones who hate gays in general.
I understand what you're saying. A friend of mine, who incidentally is not gay, feels the same way as you. I don't mean to judge them but it really does make me uncomfortable because it's so excessive (their flamboyant ways). I'm not homophobic but I see your point.

I told my close Asian friends about it and they said it was similar to when American-born Chinese people are embarassed by those Chinese people with thick accents or those Chinese people who behave in public as if they're still back in China.

It's interesting that those of us who are minorities in a racial or sexual orientation sense still subscribe to mainstream standards.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Richie77 said:
Maybe, but what happens when these guys leave the tenderloin district? Do they still act twirly? Or did they just have to act a certain way in order to fit in? How many of those guys really act that way 24 hours a day? I don't care if it is San Francisco ;)

I still don't believe the majority of gays are twirly...in Indiana, San Francisco or anywhere. I'm not embarassed that some gays are twirly...in fact, I prob'ly get that way a little myself when I'm around a whole group of them. But I don't act that way 24 hours a day. You can't base an entire personality on what you see one or two nights a week.
I volunteer with the same guys several times a month and they're "queeny" every time I see them. There's nothing wrong with it but I just get a bit tired of being around it.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Dahveed said:
Not really embarassed but sometimes i think the gay scene is totally not for me cos i feel so different.

Once in a club i saw a guy acting so feminine in all his gestures, like the way he'd flick his cigarette and i was really annoyed by that cos i thought that was just too much. But then again it's also a question of personality i guess.
The gay scene is not really for me either but neither is the straight scene. I don't feel that comfortable in either but I volunteer at the center to force myself to assimilate into the gay community.
 

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Keeper of Venus & Serena,
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Curtis, I'm glad you have an opened mind :)

It is fascinating to see other minorities who are acting like the majority, be embarassed by the minority they started with!

It's important to remember that "Coming Out" movement was being who we are. And if people are feminine or whatever, then it is who they are as well! We should enjoy each's others differences and celebrate the diversity.
 
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