O.K - lets now rekindle our memories of this wonderful show! i will reward all you MWC fans who answered this bountiful thread with some official MWC stuff <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0"> (funny)
<br />The Formation : NO MAAM
NO MAAM was formed by Al Bundy in 1994 in retaliation to Jerry Springer changing the blokes bowling night to an all womens night. Al got together a group of men and created NO MAAM (National Organisation of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood)
All the members of NO MAAM are married except for Griff. They all hate Marcy. Over the next 3 years they stood together to fight for mens rights. They obided the 10 commandmentsas set out by Ironhead Haynes.
The 10..er 9 Commandments
1. It is OK to call hooters 'knockers' and sometimes snack trays <br />2. It is wrong to be French <br />3. It is OK to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder <br />4. Lawyers, see rule three <br />5. It is OK to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes <br />6.Everyone should car pool except me <br />7.Bring back the word stewardesses <br />8.Synchronized swimming is not a sport <br />9.Mud wrestling is a sport
<br />AL's "A Fat Woman..." Quotes <br />You guys with equally as poor taste as me should love these! - these quotes are all official and all real! <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0"> - taken from the show! <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0">
<br />"A fat woman sloshed into the shoe store today. Said she was retaining water. I told her not to worry the dam of cellulite should keep us all safe for the next few years!"
"A skinny woman with a hooked nose olive-oils into the shoe store and says "I want something to make me look sexy". I say "You'll have to wait a long time before someone that ugly comes in and stands next to you!!"."
"A fat woman clip-clops into the shoestore today and says "I want something I can feel comfortable in." so I said "Try Wyoming!"."
"Then this woman comes in who doesn't speak English. She points at the shoes, I point at the door. She points at the sky and then knees me in the nay-nays!"
"Let me explain. It’s just like an elevator. There’s a 2 ton weight limit on those shoes..."
"A customer walks into the shoestore today. A tall willowy brunette. She sits down and asks to try on a pair of size 12 pumps. So I sit down there, doing my business and I notice she's wearing a garter belt whick I like. All the time she'd smiling at me. Suddenly she uncrosses her legs like in Basic Instinct..... It was a guy!!!"
"A fat woman walked into the shoe store today. She was so fat, she had three smaller women orbiting around her."
"A woman comes into the shoestore today, so huge she's protected by GreenPeace. She asked for a pair of sixe 4 so I asked if she'd eat them here or take them home. Then she has the nerver to complain about my performnce!"
"A fat woman godzillas into the shoe store today, she asks for something she could wear to walk in the woods. Jokingly I suggest she wear a sign that says "Don't shoot! From the front I look human!"."
“A fat woman came into the shoe store today. Wanted a pair of shoes for a Christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star in her butt and go as the world’s largest, ugliest tree!”
A little kid and his mum are in the store. The kid says "I want a balloon" and Al replies (looking at the fat mother) "You've already got one!".
"Then a woman comes into the store, with a crocked nose and asked for something that will make her pretty. I told her that it will take a long time until someone that ugly to come and stand near her"
"Women, you can’t live with them …. The end!"
Now i will treat you guys to some more Bundy classics! <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0">
Poems! - all from the show! - these are much funnier to read if you can picture Al in the situation! hehehe .... enjoy! <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0">
<br />"Al's Christmas Song" - (Brilliant) <img src="biggrin.gif" border="0">
<br />T'was the night before Christmas <br />and all through the house <br />no food was stirring <br />not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung <br />'round dad's neck like a tie <br />Along with a note that said <br />'Presents or die.'
The children were plotting <br />all night in their beds. <br />While the wife's constant whining <br />was splitting his head.
But, daddy had money this year in the bank. <br />Then they closed up early, <br />now dad's in the tank.
All of a sudden Santa appeared, <br />with a sneer on his face, <br />booze on his beard. <br />"Santa," I said as he laughed merrily, <br />"You do so much for others, <br />do something for me" <br />"Bundy, he said, you only sell shoes, <br />your son is a sneak thief, <br />your daughter a flooze. <br />Ho, Ho," Santa said, <br />"Should I mention your wife? <br />her hair is like an A-bomb, <br />her nails like a knife."
He climbs up the chimney, <br />fat piece of dung. <br />He mooned me two times. <br />He stuck out his thumb. <br />He exclaimed, as he broke wind with glee, <br />"You're married with children, you'll never be free."
<br />"Al's Tax Dance"
<br />Oh, we're all broke, cha, cha, cha <br />Everybody broke, cha, cha, cha <br />Living in the gutter, cha, cha, cha <br />Early grave, cha, cha, cha <br />Everybody shoot me!
<br />"Al's Gardening Song"
<br />Old MacBundy had a farm <br />B-U-N-D-Y
And on this farm there was no wife <br />B-U-N-D-Y
And no wife here and no kids there <br />With a hooker coming over on Friday night <br />With big luscious of hooters and a pizza and a beer there
Old MacBundy had a farm <br />B-U-N-D-Y
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