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Discussion Starter #1
We've all seen the tennis coverage. We've all lamented the tennis coverage. Now it is time to fire back.

1. FIRE CHRIS FOWLER.
He's terrible. Nobody cares to listen to him jabber on about whoever, mispronouncing their name of course and getting all the stats wrong. Nobody cares at all. And when I say fire him, I don't mean replace him with anybody. We don't need a neutral booth man! We don't!

2. THE ENDLESS SAPPY, SNOBBY, PRETENTIOUS, SHITTY, REPETITIVE VIDEO PACKAGES MUST DIE.
Does anybody think they make tennis look like a cool sport? how 'bout that piece on the young Americans yesterday? Boy oh boy was that GREAT. 'Course, today they did a segment on Chang, and although it blew ass, I could see the justification for a video package on this special occasion. But this is the only time! Honestly, these things must die.

3. DO YOU REALLY NEED TO SQUEEZE IN THOSE TWO EXTRA COMMERCIALS?
Would it kill ESPN to stay with an exciting match over a changeover and not skip to two 30 sec commercials? can they just do this ONCE? think about it, then the matches have more flow and rhythm without being interrupted by commercials more often than "Friends". and it'll give the commentators a chance to gab away when there's nothing more important happening, instead of during and between every fucking point like always. Which brings me to #4....

4. FIRE THE COMMENTATORS
Look, Pat McEnroe only has a job because of his brother, Cliff Drysdale is senile, Mary Carillo could make Keith Richards look lucid, Mal Washington is duller than paint drying, Pam Shriver has a giraffe neck, etcetera, etcetera. GET RID OF THEM ALL! Let's get some new blood! Man, just a change of pace would be so damn nice. Or how about they bring in somebody who loves the game and happens to know a lot about it? That would really be nice....

5. SHOW THE BEST MATCHES
Look, I love Jennifer, you love Jennifer. But nobody needs to see her waste Joanette Kruger when there are a plethora of other much closer, more exciting matches going on! You might argue that Jennifer means ratings. I would argue that boredom does not. I have this wacked out theory that if they showed the best tennis matches on TV, it just might attract more viewers!

6. MUST WE ALL GET CHOKED WITH THE STARS AND STRIPES EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY?
Look, I love Andre, you love Andre. and I know ESPN has to show him all the time. He is the biggest star currently playing on the men's side by far. I can even see the justification for a lot of roddick coverage. But Blake-Dent? Blake Dent!?!?! Or Jennifer pounding whoever? Or Serena pounding whoever? Come ON! Look, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. ESPN tells you that the American public likes to see the Americans the best. And I have no doubt that that's true. But how are they supposed to want to see anybody when they aren't exposed to them? Of course no casual fan knows who Guga Kuerten is! he never gets to see him! So you know, ESPN can continue to show 80% americans until finally america has nobody left at the top of the game. Then the ratings for latter stages of Slams will bomb in the USA because there are no American big names. And they'll have only themselves to blame for not building up the others a little more....

7. WHAT ABOUT A DECENT CAMERA ON MORE THAN TWO COURTS?
Anybody else hate the outer court cameras they set up? Now, maybe I'm being unfair and there are really good reasons why the camera work on Court 7 is absolute shit compared to Centrale, but hell, must we really go to "low View" where the ball seems to be flying by on the outer courts?

8. THERE IS NO 8.
Really, there's not.

9. WHAT ABOUT CHANGING THE THEME SONG?
How many years in a row have the used the same one? Hell, I liked the old Wimbledon theme from 1996 or so, but I've hated every other piece they've managed. Small complaint, I know, but if Jerry Springer can have a bitchin' theme song, why not ESPN tennis!

10. FIRE THE COMMENTATORS!
it really can't be said enough. WE NEED CHANGE, ESPN. CHAAAAAANGE.

Rant over.
 

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Well I agree with everything you said except the part about Mary Carillo.I love Mary....I don't always agree with her but I still think she is the best tennis commentator! :)
 

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I give you 1,000,000,000,000,000 rep points for those suggestions...esp #1
 

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Agreed. Mal Washington sounds like nails on a chalkboard and Mary Carillio is getting on my last nerve with the Andre Agassi azz kissing and heck I'm American!
 

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Mary is wonderful. I don't mind her. I do agree with the neutral desk...it seems like a time killer to me.

What pisses me off as well, is when ESPN comes back from commerical, goes to Chris...he talks, they go to a match we see a point or two and the players go sit for a change over, and they go to commerical again. WHY NOT SHOW SOMETHING ELSE!?

I will really miss TNT at Wimbledon time
 

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I don't appreciate Mary's comments on Kruger's arms as being "chicken-legs." No tennis player deserves to be made fun of on television.
 
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It was really bad this moring when they showed the Hewitt match on tape delay, while they were waiting for Jenn's match to start. They could have shown other matches or even the Hewitt match live. It was bad when Fowler said something like "Hewitt is in a real dog fight on court 1," than they cut to the match and he's up 2 sets to none and 4 games all in the third. I was like this isn't a "dog fight." I go and check scores on the internet and he's up 5-1 in the fourth! Here's an idea, how about showing matches that are being played live on TV.
 

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my 10 suggestions:

1) fuck off
2) fire the camera director
3) fire the camera operators
4) fire the commentators
5) fire everyone else
6) stop pretending you are showing live matches when everyone can see on the internet that it's not true :rolleyes:
7) show the best matches, not only the one with americans playing
8) don't summarize matches
9)give the rights to TNT
10) fuck off
 

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I think the coverage is just fine. But just a few things NEED to happen:
--put tape on Pat Mac's mouth.
--Cliff just bitch slap Pam, It'll make every tennis fan happy.
--Show less Agassi, No one wants to see the sunlight bouncing off his bald head. :p

Oh and ya'll might as well get used to this, ESPN is covering Wimby. Get prepared. ;)

Carry on... :devil:
 

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Playing a bit of Devil's Advocate here:

King Lindsay said:
1. FIRE CHRIS FOWLER.
[snip]
I didn't know it was that hard to pronounce "Ferrero." (Ferraro? Ferrera?)


King Lindsay said:
2. THE ENDLESS SAPPY, SNOBBY, PRETENTIOUS, SHITTY, REPETITIVE VIDEO PACKAGES MUST DIE.
Does anybody think they make tennis look like a cool sport? how 'bout that piece on the young Americans yesterday? Boy oh boy was that GREAT. 'Course, today they did a segment on Chang, and although it blew ass, I could see the justification for a video package on this special occasion. But this is the only time! Honestly, these things must die.
I don't mind those segments...if they come during a rain delay (when they'd roll them out again anyway). Of course I'd prefer taped tennis of matches we haven't seen yet for rain delays.

In other sports (save NBC's coverage of the Olympics...which is the most notorious at those sappy/cheesy "profiles" that try to get you to care about the people as characters rather than admire them as athletes) these sorts of segments are placed in a pre-game show.


King Lindsay said:
3. DO YOU REALLY NEED TO SQUEEZE IN THOSE TWO EXTRA COMMERCIALS?
Would it kill ESPN to stay with an exciting match over a changeover and not skip to two 30 sec commercials? can they just do this ONCE? think about it, then the matches have more flow and rhythm without being interrupted by commercials more often than "Friends". and it'll give the commentators a chance to gab away when there's nothing more important happening, instead of during and between every fucking point like always. Which brings me to #4....
ESPN does need those extra two commercials...what with the ridiculous amount of money they dish out to cover the NBA, MLB, and NHL (where do you think the dollars that go into those megamillion dollar athlete contracts come from?). Did you know that it is primarily ESPN that makes cable television in this country so expensive?


King Lindsay said:
4. FIRE THE COMMENTATORS
[snip]
Who in particular would you bring in to replace ESPN's band of merry commentators? And could you get them? I like Mary and Cliff is harmless but the others are so...well, I think they're "misinforming" the rest of us with what they say. If I was a newbie listening to them I'd think that James Blake was an awesome clay player.


King Lindsay said:
5. SHOW THE BEST MATCHES
[snip]

6. MUST WE ALL GET CHOKED WITH THE STARS AND STRIPES EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY?
Look, I love Andre, you love Andre. and I know ESPN has to show him all the time. He is the biggest star currently playing on the men's side by far. I can even see the justification for a lot of roddick coverage. But Blake-Dent? Blake Dent!?!?! Or Jennifer pounding whoever? Or Serena pounding whoever? Come ON! Look, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. ESPN tells you that the American public likes to see the Americans the best. And I have no doubt that that's true. But how are they supposed to want to see anybody when they aren't exposed to them? Of course no casual fan knows who Guga Kuerten is! he never gets to see him! So you know, ESPN can continue to show 80% americans until finally america has nobody left at the top of the game. Then the ratings for latter stages of Slams will bomb in the USA because there are no American big names. And they'll have only themselves to blame for not building up the others a little more....
There's something seriously wrong with the American starfucking that goes on in these broadcasts. But, then again, who do you think they show on the various Belgian networks? The problem with us is that we have too many American players.

ESPN is being told by marketing people and advertisers that Americans like to watch Americans.

Those [American] star players represent a lot of money...for people at Nike, Reebok, Canon, Head, Wrigley's, Wilson's Leather, Adidas, etc. If I was lavishing some tennis star with a multi-million dollar deal, I'd do all I can to give them as much exposure on television as possible. If ESPN was dedicating their coverage to an exciting match between Marlene Weingartner and Maureen Drake while Venus was oncourt at the same time and I was a Reebok exec. I might be pissed.


King Lindsay said:
7. WHAT ABOUT A DECENT CAMERA ON MORE THAN TWO COURTS?
Anybody else hate the outer court cameras they set up? Now, maybe I'm being unfair and there are really good reasons why the camera work on Court 7 is absolute shit compared to Centrale, but hell, must we really go to "low View" where the ball seems to be flying by on the outer courts?
Now that's being picky. IMO the better argument would be "why don't you save your trouble and show the best match going on on a court that has cameras on it?"


King Lindsay said:
9. WHAT ABOUT CHANGING THE THEME SONG?
The theme is a tad overly-grandiose for me. But then, can you think of a theme that isn't rather embarrassing for its sport? At least they're not rolling out the themes to "The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.", "Gettysburg", "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" or "Little Women." Or, worse, that theme NBC uses/used for Wimbledon. CBS' music ain't that great either.
 

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Anybody else get the feeling that Mary isn't all that crazy about womens tennis in the first place? She seems less than impressed with the early rounds of womens tennis and seems to love to ally herself with the dudes.

Today she was talking about what the guys in the lockerroom say about the blowout matches in the early round womens matches.

How in the hell does she know what the men in the lockerroom are saying?
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I thought some of you might chip in to defend Mary, and true, she's been good in the past. but after a while, I find her "phrases" needlessly complicated.
 

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Their theme song should be like USA's one. Its the best with all the scenery and stuff!!
 

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Discussion Starter #18 (Edited)
well, cynicole, let me respond.

why don't they just show the matches on the courts they have decent camera work on? Because that severely limits them since they only have decent camera work on two courts!

Who would I hire instead of the current batch of commentators? Geez.... I don't know, I loved the pair that did the 2000 French Open final, though I don't recall their names.... maybe they could bring in somebody from eurosport? Don't you think the broadcast could benefit from somebody who actually knows a little something about the Euro players or South American players? anyway, my point is, change would be good no matter who they brought in, and I think it would really help the broadcast to have other perspectives.

I don't think ESPN always needs to run a couple more adds. I mean, i know you can't expect every sporting event to have the coverage that the Masters does on CBS, but wouldn't it be nice to have something like that? On CBS, they show 56 minutes of golf per hour. Of course, I'm not expecting that, but once, just once, would it kill the fine people at ESPN to stay with a dramatic match during a one minute changeover? i think it would help keep people in the match, and also hold the viewers attention at home. Remember, constant commercials are a real turn off to the casual viewer.

I'm not saying the Belgian networks or the British networks aren't just as guilty of favoritism. Maybe they are, I wouldn't really know. But it doesn't make it any better. look at Germany as an example of when the player becomes bigger than the game. and now look where they are.

Perhaps it's pie-in-the-sky to hope that ESPN will dial down their focus on the top stars, but I can dream, can't I? Anyway, how are you supposed to build new stars if the other players aren't shown?

Yeah, I can think of a theme that doesn't embarass the sport. The Monday Night Football theme is legendary. so is the Hockey Night in Canada theme song. There's no reason why tennis can't have the same.
 

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4. FIRE THE COMMENTATORS
Look, Pat McEnroe only has a job because of his brother, Cliff Drysdale is senile, Mary Carillo could make Keith Richards look lucid, Mal Washington is duller than paint drying, Pam Shriver has a giraffe neck, etcetera, etcetera. GET RID OF THEM ALL! Let's get some new blood! Man, just a change of pace would be so damn nice. Or how about they bring in somebody who loves the game and happens to know a lot about it? That would really be nice....

why don't they hire Hingis to do commentary?? She's funny, honest, knows the game and the players :)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
robrich said:
4. FIRE THE COMMENTATORS
Look, Pat McEnroe only has a job because of his brother, Cliff Drysdale is senile, Mary Carillo could make Keith Richards look lucid, Mal Washington is duller than paint drying, Pam Shriver has a giraffe neck, etcetera, etcetera. GET RID OF THEM ALL! Let's get some new blood! Man, just a change of pace would be so damn nice. Or how about they bring in somebody who loves the game and happens to know a lot about it? That would really be nice....

why don't they hire Hingis to do commentary?? She's funny, honest, knows the game and the players :)
now that would be interesting! Although, she'd probably say the wrong thing ;) :D , and I don't know if she's far enough removed from her competitive rivalries yet to see things objectively. but I'd love to see it!
 
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