Special Offer for all Denners - The Jen Health Policy - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 3rd, 2004, 08:40 PM Thread Starter
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Special Offer for all Denners - The Jen Health Policy

Dear all,

I am writing to let you know of a business idea I'm implementing with all you in mind. It's something I've been thinking of for some time now and having just watched Jen play her 3rd round, I feel the time is right to unveil my idea.

I am offering you all a unique Health Policy that will cover you against all the illnesses watching a Jen match is likely to inflict upon you. We will specialise in stomach ailments and cardiac problems, aiming to reduce them and in the instance of a flare-up, offer you enough Pepto-Bismol to sink a battleship or a new heart, whichever you require. Cosmetically, we will assist the re-growth of fingernails chewed off during tense service games and re-colour hair that has gone white or grey/gray. If need be, hair that may have been torn out in frustration as another double fault lands yards from the service line, can also be transplanted.

This introductory offer will not be available for ever so grab it while you can. After all, she's back on court in 2 days time. And I need the recovery time.

Guys, I love our girl, but could she please be nice to us and just make it easy once or twice? This is how I celebrate a win though - never satisfied, huh?

PS. Well done Jen.


I've never been to Cuba
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 3rd, 2004, 09:02 PM
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LOL...That bad huh? Glad I could only watch the score on the computer from work today. It wouldn't be a Capster match without drama, and you know that!
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 3rd, 2004, 09:04 PM
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Talking re

This is such a good post! Yes, please, I'd like to order your entire line - one-year supply! I'm sure you'll have people queuing for it round the block! Surprised no one came up with this idea before. This is why I love Jen! Never the predictable, boring stuff for Jen fans. God forbid another Serna-like match! That is just not our kind of thing.
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 3rd, 2004, 09:19 PM
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This is a really funny post! I think she could give all of her fans some indigestion and heartburn.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 4th, 2004, 10:16 AM
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i was already rather ill but that match nearly ushed me over the edge!!!

there was much heart racing and stomach churning and "oh god please not again"
anything to cure this problem would be a god-send and much appreciated
i would like to subscribe to this course of treatment for as long as jenny continues to try and KILL US!!!!!
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 6th, 2004, 01:35 AM
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Jen´s gonna get to the final!!! so don´t get too nervous!!

Fan #1 de Jen Capriati
JEN IS ON HOLIDAY..since 2004


Yo si le voy, le voy a Capriati
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 7th, 2004, 03:04 PM
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Quarters against Serena later.....umm...1 Health Policy please, and make it to go.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 7th, 2004, 06:02 PM Thread Starter
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One health policy coming up. You want fries with that?


I've never been to Cuba
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 7th, 2004, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FanDeJen
Jen´s gonna get to the final!!! so don´t get too nervous!!
I like your attitude! im glad u have it, unfortunately the way jen tries to kill me every match, i find it quite hard, like Abby, not to be nervous!
*Emily*

Queen of "You know"
Jennifer Capriati

Lindsay Davenport

Visit my site at www.freewebs.com/jennifercapriati


Proud to be one of Jen's Hell's Angels!
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 7th, 2004, 09:23 PM
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I was there and watched the 3rd round match I was a little nervous myself. I got scared when it had to go to the third set I was like o no. All is good though and the 4th round was even better. Jen is so cool and awesome and is always doing crazy things one of the many reasons why I like her!!!

Jelena Jankovic #1 and the BOMB DOT COM


Co Founder of the JJ Crew!!!:
:

Proud to be one of Jen's Hell's Angels!!!:
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 7th, 2004, 09:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snuffkin
One health policy coming up. You want fries with that?
1 order of cheese fries....and a stiff drink!
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 7th, 2004, 09:43 PM Thread Starter
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Now that's an order I like the sound of. Well, the second bit. I dare say Jen would too.

Everyone got enough Pepto-Bismol for this evening?


I've never been to Cuba
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 8th, 2004, 12:42 AM
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OMG...does this policy have Emergency Room visits??? Cus my stomach hurts and I can't take it anymore...this second set is killing me!
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 8th, 2004, 07:36 PM Thread Starter
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Hmmm...maybe I should add legal cover to the range of products. I mean, I wouldn't want any of us to be falsely accused of anything, especially without conclusive proof. I might also consider extra rates for possible slander and libel cases.


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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old Sep 8th, 2004, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snuffkin
Hmmm...maybe I should add legal cover to the range of products. I mean, I wouldn't want any of us to be falsely accused of anything, especially without conclusive proof. I might also consider extra rates for possible slander and libel cases.
In review of what is going on in the GM I think it may be too later for this

Wait, can I say review? Where is a chair up when I need em' !
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