The world as it was, kind of ...
YOU READ 'EM HERE FIRST: '87 PREDICTIONS THAT CAN'T FAIL
SACRAMENTO BEE
January 4, 1987
Pete Dexter
Thirty-seven can't-miss predictions for the new year:
SPORTS
1. Washington will win the Super Bowl, killing the Bears, edging the 49ers and then beating Cleveland by four points. (Note: These predictions were made Friday afternoon, before the playoff games.)
2. Steffi Graf will win Wimbledon, and establish herself as the No. 2 women's tennis player in the world.
3. Martina Navratilova, who is still No. 1, will attack another photographer.
4. Tyrell Biggs will decision Mike Tyson in the first of what will become the greatest series of heavyweight fights since Ali-Frazier.
5. Marvin Hagler will beat up Ray Leonard worse than Martina beats up the photographer.
6. The New York Times will call for the abolition of boxing.
7. Vinny Testaverde will get to the NFL and turn out to be the real thing.
8. The Lakers will win the NBA.
9. A coach somewhere is going to grab the wrong athlete by the front of his shirt to yell at him, and get himself squashed.
10. Vicky Aragon will become the best woman jockey who ever rode.
11. The Mets will fall apart.
TELEVISION
12. ABC's ""Wide World of Sports'' will run some variation of 12-year old girls standing on balance beams every Saturday until spring.
13. Dan Rather will be replaced as news anchor at CBS.
14. Diane Sawyer is going to get her own show -- maybe the ""CBS Evening News.''
15. Sam Donaldson is going to do something memorably arrogant, and I am going to be afraid to criticize him, because the last time I criticized Sam Donaldson for being memorably arrogant, it was for something Roger Mudd did.
16. Stan Borman will interview a chicken.
POLITICS
17. No one is ever going to offer Geraldine Ferraro a million dollars again to write a book.
18. Sandy Smoley will become a huge cult figure.
19. Ron Reagan Jr. and his sisters and brother will eat, drink and be merry, and fill their dance cards, because when the ball is over, it's over, and there isn't anybody going to come by fitting any of them for glass slippers.
20. Oliver North will decide he doesn't want to tell the American people the whole story after all, at least not under oath. He will, however, be persuaded by a New York publisher to write his memoirs, a persuasion in the area of $350,000.
21. A chicken will collect enough signatures to run for mayor of Sacramento, but only one local television station will try for an exclusive interview.
22. It will take more and more energy to hate Richard Nixon.
HOUSING
23. If I don't find a house to buy before long, I will be in more trouble than Oliver North, and nobody is going to pay me $350,000 for it.
PUBLISHING
24. Esquire, now under new ownership, may become readable.
25. More serious fiction will appear initially in paperback, making it accessible to people who don't have $18 to pay for a hardback.
26. The national magazines are going to find out about Deborah Blum, who writes science for this newspaper as well as it is written anywhere, and she is going to have more article offers than she can keep track of.
27. Rupert Murdoch is going to disappear -- completely vanish -- and nobody is going to look for him.
28. The Sacramento Union will hang in there until somebody figures out a way to turn it around.
MUSIC
29. Willie Nelson and the Andrews Sisters, together for the first time.
30. Ray Charles will continue to prove he is one of the 10 or 12 genuine American geniuses of this century.
31. My daughter will discover a talent for the harp, or some instrument at least as expensive.
RELIGION
32. Willie Nelson and the pope, together for the first time.
CRIME
34. More people in suits will go to jail.
35. Someone will knock over a major race track.
36. The mayor of one of the five largest cities in the country will be indicted.
37. And I am going to get away with calling this work for another year.
YOU READ 'EM HERE FIRST: '87 PREDICTIONS THAT CAN'T FAIL
SACRAMENTO BEE
January 4, 1987
Pete Dexter
Thirty-seven can't-miss predictions for the new year:
SPORTS
1. Washington will win the Super Bowl, killing the Bears, edging the 49ers and then beating Cleveland by four points. (Note: These predictions were made Friday afternoon, before the playoff games.)
2. Steffi Graf will win Wimbledon, and establish herself as the No. 2 women's tennis player in the world.
3. Martina Navratilova, who is still No. 1, will attack another photographer.
4. Tyrell Biggs will decision Mike Tyson in the first of what will become the greatest series of heavyweight fights since Ali-Frazier.
5. Marvin Hagler will beat up Ray Leonard worse than Martina beats up the photographer.
6. The New York Times will call for the abolition of boxing.
7. Vinny Testaverde will get to the NFL and turn out to be the real thing.
8. The Lakers will win the NBA.
9. A coach somewhere is going to grab the wrong athlete by the front of his shirt to yell at him, and get himself squashed.
10. Vicky Aragon will become the best woman jockey who ever rode.
11. The Mets will fall apart.
TELEVISION
12. ABC's ""Wide World of Sports'' will run some variation of 12-year old girls standing on balance beams every Saturday until spring.
13. Dan Rather will be replaced as news anchor at CBS.
14. Diane Sawyer is going to get her own show -- maybe the ""CBS Evening News.''
15. Sam Donaldson is going to do something memorably arrogant, and I am going to be afraid to criticize him, because the last time I criticized Sam Donaldson for being memorably arrogant, it was for something Roger Mudd did.
16. Stan Borman will interview a chicken.
POLITICS
17. No one is ever going to offer Geraldine Ferraro a million dollars again to write a book.
18. Sandy Smoley will become a huge cult figure.
19. Ron Reagan Jr. and his sisters and brother will eat, drink and be merry, and fill their dance cards, because when the ball is over, it's over, and there isn't anybody going to come by fitting any of them for glass slippers.
20. Oliver North will decide he doesn't want to tell the American people the whole story after all, at least not under oath. He will, however, be persuaded by a New York publisher to write his memoirs, a persuasion in the area of $350,000.
21. A chicken will collect enough signatures to run for mayor of Sacramento, but only one local television station will try for an exclusive interview.
22. It will take more and more energy to hate Richard Nixon.
HOUSING
23. If I don't find a house to buy before long, I will be in more trouble than Oliver North, and nobody is going to pay me $350,000 for it.
PUBLISHING
24. Esquire, now under new ownership, may become readable.
25. More serious fiction will appear initially in paperback, making it accessible to people who don't have $18 to pay for a hardback.
26. The national magazines are going to find out about Deborah Blum, who writes science for this newspaper as well as it is written anywhere, and she is going to have more article offers than she can keep track of.
27. Rupert Murdoch is going to disappear -- completely vanish -- and nobody is going to look for him.
28. The Sacramento Union will hang in there until somebody figures out a way to turn it around.
MUSIC
29. Willie Nelson and the Andrews Sisters, together for the first time.
30. Ray Charles will continue to prove he is one of the 10 or 12 genuine American geniuses of this century.
31. My daughter will discover a talent for the harp, or some instrument at least as expensive.
RELIGION
32. Willie Nelson and the pope, together for the first time.
CRIME
34. More people in suits will go to jail.
35. Someone will knock over a major race track.
36. The mayor of one of the five largest cities in the country will be indicted.
37. And I am going to get away with calling this work for another year.