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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 10:00 PM   #1
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Reality check...

I know this might sound stupid, but I often overthink about the future.

Well, Im 18, so its obviously too early to think about it, however, I do. I have a wonderful group of friends and they really do mean everything to me. They have been my rock for the past 8 years and we have been through a lot together, deaths, divorces, family dramas, bad relationships, tears, but through it all we always had each other.

However, nothing is forever, is it?? I cant help but think, as someone who is gay, what will happen when my friends start getting married, having kids, etc. I mean, your priorities change as does your lifestyle and interests.

Also, I am worried about the future in general. Being gay is anything but easy, and its even harder where I live. I would love to meet someone who I will truly love and be able to share life with and grow old together, but even if that does happen, will it be enough and satisfying living without a real family, children, etc

I mean, we only live once, so I dont want to screw up.

Any advice from someone who has more life experience?

The reason Im asking is because Im moving next September from a small town to a huge city, going to uni and basically starting a new life completely.
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 10:09 PM   #2
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Re: Reality check...

you still can have kids even if you are gay, just bc ur gay doesnt mean u cant be a father and i cant wait until my cousin will be a father, he will be amazing.

its natural all your fears but in the end we stay and last with the ppl who we are supposed to last.

i wish u to sit at a table with ur friend bitch about how ur baby keep waking up at night and ask for tips from ur straight friends who had a kid just a few months b4 you.

hope u will find ur love soon bc just like the movie goes..love is all there is.

enjoy the moment, ur so young, u will have so many ups and downs and ups.
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 10:16 PM   #3
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 10:22 PM   #4
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Re: Reality check...

I was in a relationship for a very long time and I was really happy XD Im not worried about meeting someone, nor am I a pessimistic person, I was just thinking about the future really
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 10:23 PM   #5
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Re: Reality check...

I also moved from a small town to college back when I was `18 (22 now) and I must say it was such a great fresh new experience. Liberating even. I know we aren't from the same country but moving to the city does open opportunities and give a lot more freedom to a person.

I also lived abroad for a little bit which I really feel helped me become the better version of myself. Regarding love, I am happy to be single at the moment and don't worry about it but for yourself I'd probably just tell you to not meet trouble half way, you're only 18 so have plenty of time to think about relationships and the like to worry now.

So yeah just take any chances that come your way and who knows where you'll end up. I never imagined living in New Zealand when I was 18 and it happened when I was 20. So the future is so uncertain just go with the flow for now and don't think too much about it.
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 10:24 PM   #6
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Re: Reality check...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Punky View Post
you still can have kids even if you are gay, just bc ur gay doesnt mean u cant be a father and i cant wait until my cousin will be a father, he will be amazing.

its natural all your fears but in the end we stay and last with the ppl who we are supposed to last.

i wish u to sit at a table with ur friend bitch about how ur baby keep waking up at night and ask for tips from ur straight friends who had a kid just a few months b4 you.

hope u will find ur love soon bc just like the movie goes..love is all there is.

enjoy the moment, ur so young, u will have so many ups and downs and ups.
Right, as if gay marriage and adoption will be legalized in Serbia in my lifetime
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 10:27 PM   #7
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Re: Reality check...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horcrux View Post
Right, as if gay marriage and adoption will be legalized in Serbia in my lifetime
i think ppl said it about a black president

have faith
and if not, seek ur luck some place else
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 10:57 PM   #8
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Re: Reality check...

Life will throw shit at you, but it will also give you lots of happy times. You can't really be prepared for either. Just take it as it comes.
Take heart and you'll be fine
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 11:01 PM   #9
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Re: Reality check...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horcrux View Post
...

The reason Im asking is because Im moving next September from a small town to a huge city, going to uni and basically starting a new life completely.
I'm not gay, but I think living in a huge city allows you to be yourself more, since people don't pay as much attention to you (if that makes sense). One thing that is difficult about post-college/university life is when everyone relocates to various locales (for jobs), sometimes very far away. I definitely miss the community I had in graduate school, even though I have several close friends from that period. Maintaining relationships across states and countries is difficult, nevermind people concerned about raising their children, etc., which is difficult as well.

Anyway, I think you will feel more freedom in a big city than a small one. Small towns and islands can be so parochial and stifling as everyone knows and gets into your business--I hate that. (Of course, some people like the feeling of knowing everyone.)
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 11:20 PM   #10
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Re: Reality check...

Agree about the parochial thing, it can be cute and nice at times but other times you feel smothered.
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Old Dec 15th, 2013, 11:48 PM   #11
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Re: Reality check...

My fiance and I would love to have kids at one point... but there is still a lot of social stigma attached with this. While this is not the sole reason for us holding off at this point, the biggest reason is probably financial; we would certainly prefer that society accepts homosexuals as being completely normal. The last thing we want is for us to adopt kids and them being bullied by their peers, simply because he/she has two dads.
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