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Old Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:20 PM   #1
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Exclamation 31 Things Twinks Like...

i. cant. breath.

31 Things Twinks Like

31 Things Twinks Like
JAN. 1, 2013 By MADISON MOORE

1) Dancing in a cage at the club. Dancing in bikini briefs at the club.

2) Foam parties.

3) Being COMPLETELY hairless, which to me is a little scary/alien looking. A crotch is supposed to have SOME hair on it, Jesus.

4) Being the center of attention/adored by everyone.

5) Tanlines. No, not the band.

6) Poppin’ they booties. What some twinks can do with their booties is absolutely breathtaking. BEHOLD:




7) Twinks populate every ethnicity — there are black twinks, white twinks, AZN twinks, and so forth. But no matter their level of melanin, you’ll always know a twink by their unnaturally blonde hair. That’s because twinks are like Twinkies — soft and blonde on the outside, but stuffed with a certain creamy filling that’s just waiting to be let out.

8) The drag show on Thirsty Thursdays.

9) Emoticons.

10) Swoopy Justin Bieber bangs — with highlights. Eyebrows teased to eternity.

11) Stripper poles. Twinks are magically born knowing exactly how to interact with a stripper pole.

12) Brent Corrigan. Max Ryder. Jake Bass. Dillon Rossi. Sean Cody. Bel Ami. Porn featuring other twinks with titles like “Twenty Twinks,” “Euro Twink Feet,” and “Office Twinks.”

13) Bros and “straight-acting” guys.

14) Working at mall stores like Wet Seal. If you see a twink working at the local Wet Seal, you KNOW boyfriend knows how to work an outfit miss honey, yaaass. Stick with him because he will show you the hottest pieces in the store.

15) Lip gloss. I said my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin. I’m standing at my locker, and all the boys keep on stoppin.


16) Underwear with the ass cut out.

17) Being a V.I.B — a Very Important Beauty Insider at Sephora.

18) Gossip, since it allows the twink to say “gurrrrl” over and over.

19) White guys.

20) Staying pretty and innocent-looking. The whole point of twinkdom is holding onto your youth.

21) Astroglide! If it’s good enough for space shuttles, it’s good enough for some nice, ribald butt sex.

22) Having tattoos of stars on the wrist, on the neck and — yes — on the ass.

23) Wearing sunglasses at night. At the club.

24) Going to brunch and having mimoossaaaaas.

25) Fabulous pants. Designer handbags.

26) TyPiNG aLl TeXt MEssAgEs lIkE THis OMG yAy!!!

27) Dramatic reality shows like America’s Next Top Model, RuPaul’s Drag Race. Wishing they were the bitchy judge on the show, giving all those wannabes the real tea.

28) Gymnastics. Soccer. Swimming. These “sports” allow the twink to remain just toned enough without venturing out into muscle queen territory.

29) Being — or working to appear — between the ages of 14-25. Once you start aging, gaining weight and letting that hair grow in full force, it’s all down hill. Just throw in the towel.

30) Juice cleanses. Kegels.

31) Bottoming — although not every twink is a bottom, as a simple Google search will reveal.
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Old Jan 2nd, 2013, 07:31 PM   #2
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

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Old Jan 2nd, 2013, 08:27 PM   #3
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Only 2, 4, 6, 13 (!!!!), 18, and 30.
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Old Jan 2nd, 2013, 08:34 PM   #4
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

hilarious
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 11:25 AM   #5
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

oh my that booty popping white guy.
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 11:53 AM   #6
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

You forgot their favourite "uniform"--the white leather pants, white clogs, and white phone.
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 12:13 PM   #7
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

That video is hypnotic.
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 12:16 PM   #8
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pump-it-UP View Post
Only 2, 4, 6, 13 (!!!!), 18, and 30.
Don't act like you didn't see 31...
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 12:36 PM   #9
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

God I do some of the shit on that list but this bitch is no twink, believe that.

I'm more like a... well processed twinkie.
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 12:43 PM   #10
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

More like a bundt cake..
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 01:05 PM   #11
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Quote:
Originally Posted by A.K.B. View Post
More like a bundt cake..
True...

I got curves... maybe too many.

But I won't deny and I won't lie, I am me and you get what you see.
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 01:29 PM   #12
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

If you are over 25 you can no longer be a twink. Just "throw in the towel" already.
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 01:58 PM   #13
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

@ working at Wet Seal
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 03:50 PM   #14
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveFifteen View Post
@ working at Wet Seal
!!!!!!!
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Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 04:41 PM   #15
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Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

No.12 is strange...the first three are stereotypical twinkie porn stars but Dillon Rossi isn't at all
This list is broken
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