[flareon]

wicky melted

[S.T.A.R.]

Outdoing yourself once again Max

[netphobia]

Originally Posted by miffedmax

JO-LA:
In Sweden, we have many forests and log flumes. I used to have a summer job writing the directions for IKEA furniture.

CARO:
Did you write the English or Swedish instructions?

JO-LA:
Chinese.

ZHENG:
I tried to put one of those damn shelves together. The Chinese directions made no sense! It was like they were written by someone who couldn’t even speak Chinese!

JO-LA:
I know! The only thing worse than my Chinese is my backhand!

Originally Posted by miffedmax

DANI:
I will add wings of sturdy, versatile, Mohawk laminate to the log flume car. When it roars down the ramp, it will sail up into the sky, over the walls of the amusement park and straight to freedom!

DOMI:
That sounds very risky.

DANI:
Yes. That’s why you must take the first trip.

DOMI:
What?

Originally Posted by miffedmax

WICKI:
You cursed brats! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a bunch of good little girsl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I'm going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!

VIKA:
I am so totally not surprised at that.

SERENA:
We really should have seen it coming.

MEANWHILE, AGA AND ULA ARE JUMPING UP AND DOWN WITH EXCITEMENT.

ULA:
Look! A photo booth!

AGA:
Yes! You know that means! Naked photos!

LENA:
No! No naked anything!

BUT IT’S TOO LATE! THE RADWANSKAS RUN TOWARD THE BOOTH, STRIPPING OFF THEIR CLOTHES. THEY CROWD INTO THE PHOTO BOOTH…WHICH EXPLODES INTO A MILLION PIECES.

LENA:
Well, at least they didn’t get completely naked. That’s a sin.

VEE:
Am I the only noticing a disturbing trend here?

TO BE CONTINUED…

This is making October seem so much less dreary.

[A-Bond]

Originally Posted by miffedmax

MARION:
I nominate Wicki!

NINA:
No! I hate all of you! Why would I…

BUT THEY HAVE ALL JUMPED WICKI AND BUNDLED HER INTO THE LOG FLUME RIDE.

THE WINGED LOG BEGINS ITS DESCENT, WIKI SCREAMING.

WICKI:
Whoooopeeeee!

DANI:
You know, I’m not sure I made the wings big enough for someone Wicki’s size…

SURE ENOUGH, THE LOG DOESN’T TAKE OFF, IT CRASHES INTO THE WATER, SENDING A HUGE SPRAY ALL OVER THE UNFORTUNATE WICKI!

WICKI:
You cursed brats! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a bunch of good little girsl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I'm going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!

Fixed.

[The 2nd Law]

The mohawk laminate jokes are slaying me now that I know the reference

[miffedmax]

Originally Posted by A-Bond

Fixed.

How could I have missed it!

[charmedRic]

Absolutely priceless!

[Sabinator.]

Noooooooooooo I'm crying.

[Marcoo]

I don't get it

[John.]

This is too good

[hurricanejeanne]

Always amazing Max. This confrontation is seriously the highlight of the season on this site.

[five.games.all]

JO-LA:
I know! The only thing worse than my Chinese is my backhand!

Max, you're the best before Halloween...
Loving it every year!

[miffedmax]

ANA:
No. Every ride kills whoever uses it.

DANI:
Don’t be ridiculous. These rides are crafted from the finest materials.

DOMI:
By us. We’re tennis players. We know about as much about building carnival rides as Lena does about orgies.

LENA:
About what?

DOMI:
See?

DANI:
But Mohawk Laminate is so easy to install! And so durable!

PETRA:
God, are we ever going to hear the end of these Mohawk jokes?

VIKA:
Yeah, about the same time as you stop banging 12-year-olds. In other words, never.

God, I need to get out of here. I wish I had a big, throbbing…

LENA:
I’m getting the vapors…

VIKA:
…bike between my legs.

LENA:
Nothing goes between my legs. I’m a good girl.

LI:
You know, every time my husband yells at me about the credit card bills I show him your picture and he shuts right up.

JO-LA:
Oooh, shade.

LI:
No shade. It’s true. See?
LI OPENS HER WALLET AND SHOWS A PICTURE OF LENA D. LOOKING CONFUSED.

ZHENG:
It’s cold. And it’s starting to rain.

MARION:
But where can we go where it’s warm, dry, safe and there is cake? Or pie. I would settle for pie.

CARO:
The hall of mirrors! If anything bad happens, I think I can handle it.
SHE PULLS OUT A 9-IRON.

VIKA:
So that’s why you date him.

ALL LAUGH, EXCEPT LENA.

LENA:
I don’t get it.
DOMI:
We know you don’t get it. We know Max doesn’t get it either.

ALL LAUGH SOME MORE.

LENA:
What? What don’t I get?

BY NOW THE WOMEN HAVE ENTERED THE HALL OF MIRRORS.

SABS:
Hey, look, these are the trick mirrors! Look how short I am!

TAYLOR:
And look how much slightly larger than average I am!

DOMI:
Look how tall I am! I want to try the short mirror now!
SHE SHOVES SABS OUT OF THE WAY

DOMI:
Look! I’m so teeny! Ha ha ha! No! No! Wait! I really am shrinking! I’m shrinking! I’m…

ANGIE:
She disappeared…completely.

TAYLOR:
Oh noes! I’m growing! Swelling up like a balloon!

MASHA:
If she pops and ruins our dress, there will be hell to pay.

BUT CARO LEAPS INTO ACTION, AND SMASHES THE MIRRORS. THEY RUN FROM THE HOUSE, THOUGH TAYLOR BARELY FITS THROUGH THE DOOR. SHE IS NOW ACTUALLY FAT!

TO BE CONTINUED…

[ShiftyFella]

Great stuff

[barmaid]

Originally Posted by ShiftyFella

Great stuff

Max, What an imagination...are you glue sniffing or what?

Barmaid