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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 12:46 AM   #106
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Dating is all about acting to some extent. Especially if you're content on not destroying a friendly dynamic that occurs in the initial stages. Once you get more intimate, you can start to become more expressive and demanding of your own personality to do most of the work.

If by that time, the person still isn't your 'ideal', then you should just abort it.
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 01:04 AM   #107
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Originally Posted by VeeJJ View Post
I have been straight up with them. I'm straight up with everyone. They know what I'm looking for. And if they just want sex they can kick rocks.
But you've said that you expect them to make all the moves, why can't you do that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dawntreader View Post
Dating is all about acting to some extent. Especially if you're content on not destroying a friendly dynamic that occurs in the initial stages. Once you get more intimate, you can start to become more expressive and demanding of your own personality to do most of the work.

If by that time, the person still isn't your 'ideal', then you should just abort it.
Spot on.
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 01:04 AM   #108
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Originally Posted by The Dawntreader View Post
Dating is all about acting to some extent. Especially if you're content on not destroying a friendly dynamic that occurs in the initial stages. Once you get more intimate, you can start to become more expressive and demanding of your own personality to do most of the work.

If by that time, the person still isn't your 'ideal', then you should just abort it.
This is the best dating nutshell I have heard.
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 01:05 AM   #109
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Originally Posted by Matías. View Post
But you've said that you expect them to make all the moves, why can't you do that?



Spot on.
I would like them to initiate. I have basically asked them when our next date was. And me setting up the date is the last thing that is done. I do it when I've finally got too impatient and if they doesn't go well then they are gone. simple.
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 01:08 AM   #110
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Originally Posted by VeeJJ View Post
I would like them to initiate. I have basically asked them when our next date was. And me setting up the date is the last thing that is done. I do it when I've finally got too impatient and if they doesn't go well then they are gone. simple.
And when is your next date?
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 01:15 AM   #111
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Originally Posted by VeeJJ View Post
I would like them to initiate. I have basically asked them when our next date was. And me setting up the date is the last thing that is done. I do it when I've finally got too impatient and if they doesn't go well then they are gone. simple.
Just a question:

If I remember correctly, you have a certain preference (bottoming). Could you date someone who also was a bottom? And when you meet someone in real life, how do you go about asking them what their preference is? Should you do it on a first date?
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 01:21 AM   #112
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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So maybe I'm going to be a debbie downer, but I started dating this absolutely gorgeous guy who has really severe body image issues, and I'm not always sure what to say. Has anyone had to deal with this before, either from a partner or from yourself? I'm trying not to go overboard with complimenting his appearance because I think it makes him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to reassure him that he's fucking hot and that everyone thinks so except him. I'm quite certain the issues stem from a really bad family situation but I don't want to pry too much into that. IDK, I just don't want it to be a negative force in the relationship and I haven't had to deal with it before. Advice/experiences to share, anyone?
As someone who's had self-esteem issues in the past (not exactly the same as this guy's), honestly if I was in his shoes I really would want you to be reassuring me as much as possible. I wouldn't necessarily interpret him being uncomfortable as a sign that he DOESN'T want you to compliment his appearance - I can get uncomfortable when people compliment me, mainly because I just don't know what to say (and also, partly because I'm wondering if the person is being truthful or just saying what they think I want to hear), but I still appreciate them a lot. When you're in that sort of mindset, you really have convinced yourself that the whole world thinks exactly the same as you do (in this guy's case, that the whole world thinks the same about his body that he does), and knowing that someone else genuinely doesn't think that really would help I think
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 02:02 AM   #113
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Originally Posted by Novichok View Post
Just a question:

If I remember correctly, you have a certain preference (bottoming). Could you date someone who also was a bottom? And when you meet someone in real life, how do you go about asking them what they're preference is? Should you do it on a first date?
The advantage of being versatile is this not mattering. Sometimes with some people you want them to be more of one thing or another, but usually it works out anyway.
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 02:07 AM   #114
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Originally Posted by Matías. View Post
That's definitely my problem. To be clear I'm not just attracted to straight guys, I have obviously been involved with gay gay guys it is just that sometimes I fell for the insecure sexually confused straight. That's not the case with this new guy though, he is most definitely just straight.
Not so much apparently, we arranged a date.
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 02:14 AM   #115
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Not so much apparently, we arranged a date.
Hope it goes well!
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 02:24 AM   #116
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Hope it goes well!
It will!
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 02:27 AM   #117
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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It will!
Do you have sex on the first date?
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 02:31 AM   #118
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Girl you sound just as much of a mess as me. And i get what you're saying. I've said the same thing to my friends. Saying and applying are different things. And breaking a behavior pattern or even modifying it takes time. If it was so easy everyone would be perfect and this would be a wonderful life.
I considered deleting the post, because you're right: I'm a big tranny mess. Seriously, if I didn't take on a massive freelance project two weeks ago, who knows how much more I would have been drinking because of guys.
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 02:34 AM   #119
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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Originally Posted by Novichok View Post
Do you have sex on the first date?
No.
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Old Jul 13th, 2012, 02:41 AM   #120
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Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

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I considered deleting the post, because you're right: I'm a big tranny mess. Seriously, if I didn't take on a massive freelance project two weeks ago, who knows how much more I would have been drinking because of guys.
clubbing is the best to get rid of negative emotions
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