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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 08:49 PM   #1
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McDonalds officials say sales are up after signing Williams sisters

CBSSportslie.com

Los Angeles, CA - Carrie Buns, western district sales manager for Mcdonalds, announced that burger sales have increased since the announcement that tennis super stars Venus and Serena Williams will be the new spokespersons for Mcdonald's new international sales promotions.

"Sales went up nearly 5% on the day of the announcement that Venus and Serena would be in our new company promotions", said a jubilant Buns. "Their impact is already much highe than we initially predicted," added a cheerful Buns.

Recently revealed, however, was the fact that most of the sales have been accredited to major sports franchises and college programs.
A source, who desired to remain unnamed, associated with a major Los angeles sports franchise informed the media that since it was discovered that Mcdonalds product were an essential part of the dietary regime for the two great Williams athletes, coaches have been trying to get more of the tasty burgers on the training tables.

many current WTA players are now beating a path to McDonalds in order to get some of the power from the burgers that the williams seemed to have acquired from the food.
"I need to do something to win a damn title," quipped Russian tennis star and model and she left a local Mcdonalds with singing sensation, Enrique Iglacias, who looked like a pack mule while carrying several large bags of the tasty burgers to a waiting limo.

Another tennis star was discovered buying the burgers to gain Williams like power dispite the fact that she wore a disguise that was applied by a makeup artist from the "Friends" TV program.
The Italian player's father asked that Jennifer's name not be released concerning this embarassing incident.

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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:02 PM   #2
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i got chicken nuggets friday and a milkshake sat.
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:09 PM   #3
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Anton - Your tennis game should be improving very shortly after consuming those items.
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:26 PM   #4
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I hear that the average American weighs in around the 37 stone mark...is that so?

USA USA USA!

Just say no!


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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:28 PM   #5
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cute tee-rex sportslie i hope this ppl actually catch that
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:31 PM   #6
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Lori Petty is a regular at the Hollywood Blvd. Mcdonalds, I hear.

Go to the good old British Isles and have some mutton parts stuffed in a sheep's gut.
Now, that must be a real tasty meal.
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:36 PM   #7
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Nah, come to the British Isles and have Mcdonalds like everywhere else...there is no escape!

Lori Petty is a fellow Vegetarian Mr Rexx, which merely serves to heighten our compatibility/marriage prospects.

Britian is an increasingly tubby nation, but has a long way to go to keep up with Orca-style US standards.
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:42 PM   #8
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I am sure the Williams sisters will draw the attention for the company....

But also, no company would admit to the public that they have a poor marketing team even if the effect was just very small....
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:46 PM   #9
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Mr. Ba, I guess you are right. I can tell by just counting all of the British Wimbledon champs.
Yep, all you Brits are in great physical condition all right. LOL
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 09:57 PM   #10
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Mr Rexx, do you wash yourself with a rag on a stick, or do your friends wash you down with a fire hose?


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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:16 PM   #11
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Mr. Ba, here is a shot of me after I have just had a meal of those tasty, Williams endorsed, McDonalds burgers.



Oh, I use a small hand towel to bathe.
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:21 PM   #12
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The US is indeed a country of fatties, regardless of how fast the Brits are catching up. Now people have really fat cars, too, that need supersize parking spaces to fit in. And they buy fat houses too, with 3,000 square feet for each person to wallow around in. It's all part of the same mentality: "MORE and BIGGER is BETTER". And it sucks.
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:23 PM   #13
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LOL @ "CBSSportslie"
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:24 PM   #14
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Janie, are you fat and feeling sorry for yourself or something?
Go out and play some tennis, babe.
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Old Nov 3rd, 2002, 10:40 PM   #15
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Whooo;;; BABY,TeeRexx .You look marverlous .Like a big mack.Or the Mack.LOrd lord lord.Is this really you.he TexRex is a hunk of a man.
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