Knokke interview with young starlet Melanie Oudin
Interview by Andrew Lopienga
AL: Hello Melanie, how are you on this fine day?
MO: Umm Im good thanks.
AL: Look here is a picture of you from the French Open *shows this picture*
MO: Oh yeah ok..!?
AL: Would you mind signing it for me, my daughters are huge fans of you!! *smiles creepily*
MO: Sure? *take picture and signs it*
AL: Hey Melanie how about you come over to my...*sirens begin and Andrew sprints out of the room*
MO: What the..??
*police enter and question Melanie on what just happened*
...Later in the day Melanie is seen looking like this, balling her eyes out
A few days later Melanie is escorted by her personnel security guard to her real interview!
*The interviewers did not give out their names, so this interview will be written as Q&MO*
Q: Melanie can you please describe why you were crying in the lobby of your hotel a few days ago.
MO: Id rather not.
Q: Well we need to tell the public something about that!
MO: No. Next.
Q: So I heard you sprained your ankle on the clay at Roland Garros, how is it now.
MO: Still sprained idiot.
Q: And how are you coping with this injury?
MO: Well I just injured my leg today as well so obviously not very well. Thanks for reminding me you jerk.
Q: Oh I am very sorry I didn't mean to upset you! What are your plans this week in Knokke?
MO: I plan to play tennis.
Q: What do you want to accomplish here though?
MO: I want to be able to train hard, but first I need to rest my leg and ankle.
Q: So will you be practicing at all the remainder of the week?
MO: I just said I need to rest. I will not train again or play till my first match.
Q: Well by looking at you it looks like you've been resting a lot, maybe too much. *smirks*
MO: Excuse you what is that supposed to mean? Im a professional tennis player..
*Someone yells out.."he means you're fat"*
MO: Yeah thanks kid I kind of knew that!!
Q: You should really hit the gym more often.
MO: No I should really hit your face *gets up to punch the interviewer*
*all interviewers scream and run away out of the room except for good ole Andrew who escaped from jail*
*Now Melanie runs out of the room with her security guard, runs into her room, and no one has seen or heard from her since*
Scratch that, 2 minutes ago she called and said she would still be participating in the tournament as long as she takes a helicopter from her room to each one of her matches!