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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 03:02 AM   #166
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Matías. View Post
No, I think you said you were literally wetting your pants.
You're right
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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 03:06 AM   #167
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

This entire thread....

http://www.tennisforum.com/showthread.php?t=300115
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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 03:13 AM   #168
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveFifteen View Post
She played every week to keep busy. To stay distracted. She traveled to new tournaments in new cities, desperately trying to escape her hidden shame, but it followed her. It was there looking back at her in the mirror.

As the girls changed into their clothes, preparing for their pratice sessions on the hallowed clay courts of Roland Garros, she was careful to cover herself as she removed her clothing. Here in this Sapphic sanctuary, there were too many women who delighted in gazing at her soft, purple place. It was so risky to expose herself here among so many lovers of labia. Maybe they would discover her terrible secret.

One of them did know her secret and extracted quite a price to keep it. Anger burned in her heart as she thought of her deftly-acted "meltdown" in last year's U.S. Open semifinal. That match was hers to win, but as she looked across the net, she saw the rageful flash in her Belgian opponent's eyes: "Beat me today, and I'll be telling the world of your grand deception tomorrow." She let out a defeated sigh as she remembered how she had to tank her matches in Warsaw and Berlin, too.

She began to apply makeup to her face. She caked it on, hoping to cover up the guilt she felt inside, but no amount of foundation could mask the truth from anyone who was really looking for it.

Suddenly, the locker room erupted in a chorus of disgusted groans. The foul stench of another one of Sveta’s toxic queefs was assaulting the noses of the entire top 20! The putrid stench distracted her for a moment from her makeup application and her guilt-ridden introspection, but when she turned back to the mirror, she was confronted again with her terrible truth: she was a ...





































I died.
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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 03:19 AM   #169
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
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This thread wont be legit until we get Lovefifteen's Jankovic locker room confessional. Pre-op tranny or something it was called. That may have been the single funniest thing Ive ever read on here.
I went looking for his, and some of Lovefifteen's threads are just
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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 03:21 AM   #170
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

"lovers of labia"

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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 05:05 AM   #171
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Some of the recent images in the Jelena! thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by vavavoom View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caratantcheva View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by дalex View Post
, I just had to make one featuring Irina, The Empress of Bitchfaces,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bruno71 View Post


This Jankovic is an evil bitch to baby Anci

And from the beginning of the thread , the classic:
Quote:
Originally Posted by RYNJ View Post
"Jelena!" and "Serena?" discovered some paranormal activity going on!

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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 04:49 PM   #172
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

sweetpeas from the is Ivanovic Black thread?

Quote:
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There really no true white people!Everyone has 10% of something in them.That saying i had Indian in my last night!about 4%,give or take a inch....lol
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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 05:11 PM   #173
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Sweetpeas is amazing!
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Old Jul 16th, 2010, 08:07 PM   #174
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

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Old Jul 19th, 2010, 03:12 PM   #175
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
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That was brillz.
Welcome back Ludwig
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Old Jul 19th, 2010, 03:33 PM   #176
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

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I'm not gay.
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Old Jul 27th, 2010, 02:09 AM   #177
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Atomic View Post

Hey guys !
It's been so long since I wrote to y'all on here, I don't know where to start.
I just can't believe I got to win my fourth wimbledon title, that tournament is so special to me, like the strawberries and the cream and the queen, its just so different any of the other three tournaments that i play.
But the craziest part about wimbledon for me this year was seeing Rafa in a suit @ the winners ball, i just couldnt believe that ish! Like that man has got a donk to rival the chocolatest of brothers. Mother may i! Now I know why Vee likes to win wimbledon so much...
Now about my foot, i've heard some of these crazy rumours flying around so its time for me to set the record straight. I did not step on no damn glass. I was out for lunch with some of my closest gurls, Didi, Latesha, Laquesha and Rae Rae, and i wont lie to you we got a little tipsy.
Then who was to walk into the restaurant but Jelena Jankovic. Now i'll be honest with you, i said some things that maybe i shouldnt have, it was very out of character for me. So anyway, a little tussle or whatever you want to call it broke out and she stamped on my right foot, causing the injury you've read about in the media. Now, i dont know if any of you have ever had your foot stepped on by a pre-op transsexual well built, athletic woman, but let me tell you it was agony.
So there you go, no faking, no trying to get out of tournaments, just a rowdy night that got out of hand.
Talk to you guys soon!
Loves Serena x
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atomic View Post
Okay guys, this is gonna sound un peu bizarre, but please hear me out.
I am like massively obsessed with Maria Sharapova's backhand. I watch like at least 50 videos of her backhand every day, then I watch them in slow motion. I stand in front of my bedroom window with the Tv remote as my tennis bat and watch myself trying to replicate her stoke. Sometimes i will toss a sock in front of the remote to hit, sometimes cross court which is mine, and of course Maria's fave, but sometimes down the line too. Not only that, I dream about her backhand also. One time I dreamt that I was Maria and I got to hit a backhand cross court winner and it felt soo amazing.

Now you might think that this is a bit weird but its okay as it doesn't affect my life but the thing is there is more. For starters, my neighbour saw me doing backhands with the TV remote in front of my window (I don't have a mirror in my room because I have a fear of them). I'm frightened that the neighbours will tell my parents and then they will now about my obsession and try to find help for me.

But the worst thing of all is. I think that I'm actually kinda sexually attracted to Maria's backhand as well. I don't know if there is anyone else on the site that's had this problem? Maybe it's just a tennis fan thing. But anyway I've started using backhand slow mo's as a replacement for porn. I confided this to my best friend and he was very freaked out.

What advice can you give me? I have backhands on the brain.
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Old Jul 27th, 2010, 02:27 AM   #178
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?


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Old Jul 27th, 2010, 02:51 AM   #179
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

WTF is up with the nipple sucking and cat playing? Didn't gay kids pretend to be princesses or something, not incestuous wild animals?! Where were your PARENTS! Or are you the kid who's grandparents own birds and ruin your life? I think you are. Nuff said.
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Old Jul 27th, 2010, 06:23 AM   #180
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

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this is so true
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