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Old Jan 25th, 2013, 06:15 PM   #121
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Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Balltossovic View Post
A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"
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Old Jan 25th, 2013, 09:29 PM   #122
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Re: Jokes?

omg this thread
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Old Jan 27th, 2013, 05:53 PM   #123
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Re: Jokes?

Some of these jokes.

Great thread.
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Old Jan 27th, 2013, 06:31 PM   #124
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Re: Jokes?

A joke I heard a few years ago:

A teddy and rabbit go fishing. While fishing the teddy catches a magical fish. The fish gives them 3 magical wishes. He asks the teddy what he wants first and he replies "I wish I could be the only male teddy in town". The fish then asks the rabbit and he doesn't want anything.

The fish then asks the teddy again and the teddy replies "I wish I could be the only male teddy in the country". The fish once again asks the rabbit but the rabbit still doesn't want anything.

The fish then asks the teddy what he wants for his last wish and the teddy goes "I wish to be the only male teddy in the whole world". The fish turns to the rabbit and ask what he wants for his last wish and the rabbit replies "I wish teddy was gay".
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Old Jan 27th, 2013, 07:40 PM   #125
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Re: Jokes?

Where did Michael Jackson go to college?

Bringum Young University!
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Old Jan 27th, 2013, 07:41 PM   #126
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Re: Jokes?

Meryl Street told me that one. ^^
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Old Jan 28th, 2013, 12:58 AM   #127
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Re: Jokes?

quiz:

what is it?

hints:

1) george bush has a short one
2) arnold schwarzenegger has a long one
3) the pope doesn't use his

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Old Jan 28th, 2013, 01:00 AM   #128
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Re: Jokes?

What's better than eating a Mandarin?


Eating a manderout.
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Old Jan 28th, 2013, 01:08 AM   #129
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Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by wild.river View Post
quiz:

what is it?

hints:

1) george bush has a short one
2) arnold schwarzenegger has a long one
3) the pope doesn't use his

Surname?
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Old Jan 28th, 2013, 01:13 AM   #130
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Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean. View Post
Surname?
correct
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Old Jan 28th, 2013, 01:22 AM   #131
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Re: Jokes?

Clint Eastwood told me this one during the 2008 primary:

Chelsea Clinton went to Afghanistan to interview the troops. She asked one, "what are your three greatest fears?"

He responded:

Osama
Obama
Yo Mama.
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Old Jan 28th, 2013, 02:23 AM   #132
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Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ranfurly View Post
What's better than eating a Mandarin?


Eating a manderout.
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Old Jan 29th, 2013, 12:16 AM   #133
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Re: Jokes?

What do you get when you cross Billie Jean King and Bo Derek?

a DC-10!
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Old Feb 5th, 2013, 06:04 PM   #134
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Re: Jokes?

A skinny little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.”

The little guy faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and starts shaking him. The big guy says, “What's wrong with you?” In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Turner Brown?! Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around!"


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Old Feb 5th, 2013, 11:35 PM   #135
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Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Balltossovic View Post
A skinny little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.”

The little guy faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and starts shaking him. The big guy says, “What's wrong with you?” In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Turner Brown?! Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around!"


Love it!!
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