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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 02:06 AM   #1
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"The Idiot's Guide to Running a Professional Tennis Tour" by Larry Scott

This new book written by WTA Tour chief Larry Scott will soon hit the shelves. In the book he gives the following tips to aspiring tennis tour CEO's:

-Never, EVER attempt to promote the sport. Make the players do it themselves. Oh yeah, and have them wear stupid pink t-shirts to promote girl power.
-Make sure to keep entry lists HIDDEN from the public, so they might won't be frightened away from buying tickets to tournaments if a player they dislike is in the draw.
-If a player is not American or a tall blonde Russian, ignore her completely.
-Do NOTHING to address player injuries and blame everything on THEM!
-Try to get the top players to play as many tournaments a year as possible and don't give a shit about their longevity because quite frankly, you will not be CEO longer than 5 years, so who gives a damn?!
-Schedule 10 tournaments a year in Southern California and at least five in Los Angeles.
-Don't give a shit about TV ratings and focus more on making money by scheduling as many tournaments as you possibly can.
-If a player complains about the season being too long, tell them to shut up or retire.
-If a player pulls out of a tournament and does not have a valid medical report signed by a doctor, a nurse AND the tour medical advisor, fine them $100,000 and suspend them for two months.
-If a player plays fewer than 25 tournaments, they do not get any of the tour's bonus pool.
-Discourage players from participating in Fed Cup, Davis Cup and exhibitions so they can play as many tour events as possible

and finally
-Sit back in your office, make a ton of money and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and make a six figure salary a year!
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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 02:37 AM   #2
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So when do I get my turn to be a Larry Scott?
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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 05:15 AM   #3
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Well done JennyS !
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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 05:29 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyS
This new book written by WTA Tour chief Larry Scott will soon hit the shelves. In the book he gives the following tips to aspiring tennis tour CEO's:

-Never, EVER attempt to promote the sport. Make the players do it themselves. Oh yeah, and have them wear stupid pink t-shirts to promote girl power.
-Make sure to keep entry lists HIDDEN from the public, so they might won't be frightened away from buying tickets to tournaments if a player they dislike is in the draw.
-If a player is not American or a tall blonde Russian, ignore her completely.
-Do NOTHING to address player injuries and blame everything on THEM!
-Try to get the top players to play as many tournaments a year as possible and don't give a shit about their longevity because quite frankly, you will not be CEO longer than 5 years, so who gives a damn?!
-Schedule 10 tournaments a year in Southern California and at least five in Los Angeles.
-Don't give a shit about TV ratings and focus more on making money by scheduling as many tournaments as you possibly can.
-If a player complains about the season being too long, tell them to shut up or retire.
-If a player pulls out of a tournament and does not have a valid medical report signed by a doctor, a nurse AND the tour medical advisor, fine them $100,000 and suspend them for two months.
-If a player plays fewer than 25 tournaments, they do not get any of the tour's bonus pool.
-Discourage players from participating in Fed Cup, Davis Cup and exhibitions so they can play as many tour events as possible

and finally
-Sit back in your office, make a ton of money and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and make a six figure salary a year!

Bravo!
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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 11:04 AM   #5
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Quote:

-If a player pulls out of a tournament and does not have a valid medical report signed by a doctor, a nurse AND the tour medical advisor, fine them $100,000 and suspend them for two months.
I think this one should be still fine them even if they have a very valid medical reason.

Quote:
Do NOTHING to address player injuries and blame everything on THEM!


Quote:

-Try to get the top players to play as many tournaments a year as possible and don't give a shit about their longevity because quite frankly, you will not be CEO longer than 5 years, so who gives a damn?!
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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 11:10 AM   #6
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Nice thread. Is this Carlos speaking ?
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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 01:15 PM   #7
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I'm glad you enjoyed this thread.
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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 02:02 PM   #8
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Old Nov 27th, 2004, 02:11 PM   #9
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Quote:
Never, EVER attempt to promote the sport. Make the players do it themselves. Oh yeah, and have them wear stupid pink t-shirts to promote girl power.
The worst ad campaign ever..those obnoxious pink shirts,and those assinine print ads.
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Old Nov 28th, 2004, 12:58 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyS
This new book written by WTA Tour chief Larry Scott will soon hit the shelves. In the book he gives the following tips to aspiring tennis tour CEO's:
I wonder if he could put together a full sentence
Quote:
-Never, EVER attempt to promote the sport. Make the players do it themselves. Oh yeah, and have them wear stupid pink t-shirts to promote girl power.
Might I add that you are making the hardest effort to keep heterosexuals males away from the sport, "get in touch with your feminine side" whatever.
Quote:
-Make sure to keep entry lists HIDDEN from the public, so they might won't be frightened away from buying tickets to tournaments if a player they dislike is in the draw.
exactly, what are the fans after all? who cares about them?
Quote:
-If a player is not American or a tall blonde Russian, ignore her completely.
yep
Quote:
-Do NOTHING to address player injuries and blame everything on THEM!
after all it's not the WTA's problem
Quote:
-Try to get the top players to play as many tournaments a year as possible and don't give a shit about their longevity because quite frankly, you will not be CEO longer than 5 years, so who gives a damn?!
5 years? if he were working in a real company he would be fired in 5 minutes.
Quote:
-Schedule 10 tournaments a year in Southern California and at least five in Los Angeles.
don't forget to schedule two tournaments in Thailand, two in India, One in Ubezkistan, and none in Spain or the Czech Republic.
Quote:
-Don't give a shit about TV ratings and focus more on making money by scheduling as many tournaments as you possibly can.
and our intelligent CEO knows how to make money really, in all sports tv rights are more important than tickets, I guess in Larry Scott's world it's different.
Quote:
-If a player complains about the season being too long, tell them to shut up or retire.
the players should shut down the wta, it's getting to a point of no return.
Quote:
-If a player pulls out of a tournament and does not have a valid medical report signed by a doctor, a nurse AND the tour medical advisor, fine them $100,000 and suspend them for two months.
and don't forget to fine the player even if she does have a valid medical report, but only half the amoutn.
Quote:
-If a player plays fewer than 25 tournaments, they do not get any of the tour's bonus pool.
I guess Dokic is their role model.
Quote:
-Discourage players from participating in Fed Cup, Davis Cup and exhibitions so they can play as many tour events as possible
well the ITF is doing a good job at that.
Quote:
and finally
-Sit back in your office, make a ton of money and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and make a six figure salary a year!
well, who is to blame for that? who choose a complete moron to run the tour?

the players should remember why the wta was created in the first place, it was to defend the players , not to be against them. Since the WTA is not only not fitting that function but it's actually doing the opposite, the players should think not of replacing Larry Scott, but the WTA itself. It's bad having a moron as CEO, but it's worse that such a moron is elected to be a CEO, they need not only to fire him, but the entire board of directors, if they can choose someone like Scott they don't deserve to be there.

I think the top players should get together, realize the WTA is exploiting them, and create a new association, without the tournament directors, just the players. Serena, Justine, Lindsay, even Martina Navratilova, if they realize they ARE the tour, then Larry Scott and his troup of morons can start looking for a new job (maybe Larry Scott can be a ballboy)
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Old Nov 28th, 2004, 02:42 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fingon
I wonder if he could put together a full sentence

Might I add that you are making the hardest effort to keep heterosexuals males away from the sport, "get in touch with your feminine side" whatever.
exactly, what are the fans after all? who cares about them?
yep

after all it's not the WTA's problem
5 years? if he were working in a real company he would be fired in 5 minutes.
don't forget to schedule two tournaments in Thailand, two in India, One in Ubezkistan, and none in Spain or the Czech Republic.

and our intelligent CEO knows how to make money really, in all sports tv rights are more important than tickets, I guess in Larry Scott's world it's different.
the players should shut down the wta, it's getting to a point of no return.
and don't forget to fine the player even if she does have a valid medical report, but only half the amoutn.
I guess Dokic is their role model.

well the ITF is doing a good job at that.

well, who is to blame for that? who choose a complete moron to run the tour?

the players should remember why the wta was created in the first place, it was to defend the players , not to be against them. Since the WTA is not only not fitting that function but it's actually doing the opposite, the players should think not of replacing Larry Scott, but the WTA itself. It's bad having a moron as CEO, but it's worse that such a moron is elected to be a CEO, they need not only to fire him, but the entire board of directors, if they can choose someone like Scott they don't deserve to be there.

I think the top players should get together, realize the WTA is exploiting them, and create a new association, without the tournament directors, just the players. Serena, Justine, Lindsay, even Martina Navratilova, if they realize they ARE the tour, then Larry Scott and his troup of morons can start looking for a new job (maybe Larry Scott can be a ballboy)
Good post! I agree with you that the players need their own union.
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Old Nov 28th, 2004, 02:52 PM   #12
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EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 06:01 PM   #13
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Re: "The Idiot's Guide to Running a Professional Tennis Tour" by Larry Scott

:bump:
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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 06:08 PM   #14
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Re: "The Idiot's Guide to Running a Professional Tennis Tour" by Larry Scott

good to see this thread is still completely accurate
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Old Apr 27th, 2008, 06:17 PM   #15
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Re: "The Idiot's Guide to Running a Professional Tennis Tour" by Larry Scott

The accuracy of the thread is till true till now sad!!!

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