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Halloween Confrontation VIII

20K views 162 replies 68 participants last post by  mc8114 
#1 ·
It may suck. But it's tradition.



OPEN ON A DARK, DESERTED AMUSEMENT PARK ENTRANCE. A SPUTTERING NEON SIGN READS “THE AMAZING CARNIVAL OF ERRORS.”

QUEEN MASHA STANDS WITH HER LOYAL SERVANTS, ANDY H. AND JO-LA.

ANDY:
I don’t like this place. It’s kind of creepy. And it’s October. Horrible things always happen around here near Halloween and Lena’s birthday.

QUEEN MASHA:
Silence, peasant. We bid dearly to get the candy concession here for Sugarpovas, and we will make a delicious profit. Besides, the sign says “Carnival of Errors.” It will be like watching the Swedish peasant hit a backhand.

JO-LA (sticking out tongue at Queen Masha’s back and sotto voce):
Shows what you know, you bossy bitch. I’ve never hit a backhand in my life!

ANDY WAVES A VENDOR PASS AT THE BOOTH AND THEY WALK THROUGH THE GATE, JO-LA WHEELING A HANDCART WITH BOXES OF SUGARPOVAS.

ENTER THE WILLIAMS SISTERS.

SERENA:
Ha. While all those other foolish girls play the Asian tour, I’m gonna chill and relax with a nice trip to the amusement park.

VEE:
Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean Disneyworld is a lot nicer…

SERENA:
Please. I might even do an exo with Vika. I bet we could hit 70, 80 UEs each.

VEE:
And yet the biggest error is that one of you ends up doing a victory--and I use the word loosely--“dance.”

SERENA:
Just buy the tickets.

VEE PURCHASES TICKETS FROM THE UNSEEN VENDOR IN THE BOOTH AND THE SISTERS MOVE THROUGH THE TURNSTILES.

ENTER THE EXTENDEd POLISH/GERMAN/DANISH CONTINGENT.

ULA:
Oh, look! An amusement park!
AGA:
You know what amuses me? Being naked in Playboy!

SABS:
Okay, I’ll go, but we can’t go on any fast rides. I ruptured my spleen on a merry-go-round once and nearly died!

ANGIE:
Seriously?

SABS:
Well, it was a very big merry-go-round. And then, once I did the milk bottle toss and blew out my rotator cuff.

ANGIE:
What’s the longest you’ve gone without hurting yourself?

SABS:
I once went 47 minutes and 18 seconds. Then I ate a Pink Thing and stabbed myself in the face with the stick! I nearly died!

CARO:
I don’t want to get naked, but I would like to get on those flying swings so my skirt flys up and shows off my new line of panties. I have to say they are pretty nice. Let’s go on in!

THEY BUY THEIR TICKETS.

ENTER DANI AND DOMI DRESSED AS CARPENTERS.

DANI:
This is the jobsite all right.

DOMI:
I don’t get it. Why am I dressed as a carpenter?

DANI:
Because in the last confrontation, there was not ONE SINGLE JOKE ABOUT MOHAWK LAMINATE. And that is just wrong. So we are here to build a new roller coaster out of Mohawk Laminate.

DOMI:
You know, I have the suspicion I am just being set up for a bunch of cheap, unfunny short jokes followed by an awful, painful death.

DANI (WITH FINGERS CROSSED):
Please, like I would ever do that to a fellow Slovak.

THE SLOVAKS MOVE ON, LADEN WITH MOHAWK LAMINATE, NAILS, TOOLS, ETC.

THE SIGN CRACKLES, SENDING A REIGN OF SPARKS…A “T” IS NOW VISIBLE, SO THE SIGN READS “THE AMAZING CARNIVAL OF TERRORS” AND THE TICKET WINDOW LIGHTS UP TO REVEAL THE SMILING FACE OF SHINO TSURUBUCHI…

WHERE ARE VIKA AND NINA?

WHAT HAVE THE LADIES GOTTEN THEMSELVES INTO?

TO BE CONTINUED…
 
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#2 ·
SABS:
Okay, I’ll go, but we can’t go on any fast rides. I ruptured my spleen on a merry-go-round once and nearly died!

ANGIE:
Seriously?

SABS:
Well, it was a very big merry-go-round. And then, once I did the milk bottle toss and blew out my rotator cuff.

ANGIE:
What’s the longest you’ve gone without hurting yourself?

SABS:
I once went 47 minutes and 18 seconds. Then I ate a Pink Thing and stabbed myself in the face with the stick! I nearly died!
:spit:
 
#3 ·
a month early Max
its Oct 1st, yesterday was Sep 30 not Oct 30 :wavey:

still :worship:
 
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#8 ·
I like this part: "THE SIGN CRACKLES, SENDING A REIGN OF SPARKS…A “T” IS NOW VISIBLE, SO THE SIGN READS “THE AMAZING CARNIVAL OF TERRORS” AND THE TICKET WINDOW LIGHTS UP TO REVEAL THE SMILING FACE OF SHINO TSURUBUCHI…"

:lol: keep it coming Max!

Kill someone too! make it a bloody horror story :p
 
#12 ·
plz can the Chinese contingent make an appearance in the To Be Continued part :awww: :shrug:
 
#19 ·
OLD AND TATTERED CANVAS SIGNS FLAP IN THE WIND. SERENA POINTS EXCITEDLY.

REE:
Oh, look! A freak show! Let’s go to the freak show!

VEE: (POINTING AT THE POLES, MASHA’S RETINUE, ETC)
Isn’t that kind of redundant?

CARO:
Have you tried my new line of underwear yet?

AGA:
As if I wear panties.

SABS:
TMI! TMI! I always wear two pairs for safety! Once I got crabs and nearly died!

QUEEN MASHA:
Oh, look. Signs for a freak show! We will go. If there’s one thing we enjoy more than mocking peasants, it’s mocking hideously deformed peasants.

ANDY:
This is so stupid. I mean as soon as you read the signs you know who they’re going to find in the freak show.

JO-LA:
Yes, it’s an obvious plot device to introduce more of the popular players into the story. Which begs the question of what we did to deserve this.
FIRST SIGN:

THE FAT LADY

MASHA AND SERENA ENTER THE TENT.

SERENA:
Well, this is disappointing. It’s just Taylor.

MASHA:
We were expecting someone, you know, fat.

TAYLOR:
Sorry.

ENTER MARION:
Eat ze cake, and get fat, Gretel.

TAYLOR:
I told you, my name is Taylor. And I don’t want any cake.

MARION:
Rats.

SERENA:
Come with us, girls.

THEY EXIT THE FAT LADY’S TENT AND MEET VEE AND THE POLES OUTSIDE.

AGA:
We found the carnival barker.

PETRA:
Podje! Podje!

CARO:
That is so annoying!

SERENA:
Hey, there’s a sign for the world’s strongest man. Look at those biceps!

ENTER SAM DRESSED IN A LEOPARD PRINT LEOTARD.

SAM:
WO-man. World’s strongest WO-man. I’ve told them to repaint that bloody sign at least a thousand times, stupid bloody poms.

VEE:
Look, I hate to be a spoil-sport, but there are just getting to be more and more of us all in one place, and you know what that means…

SABS:
Death.

ANGIE:
Yeah, well, crossing the street means death to you.

SABS:
I know!

SERENA:
Hey, there’s a mind reader! Let’s go get our minds read!

QUEEN MASHA:
Well, this won’t take long.

THE WOMEN ENTER A MYSTERIOUS TENT. SMOKY INCENSE FILLS THE AIR. MYSTERIOUS RUNES ARE PAINTED ON THE WALLS. A TABLE COVERED IN EXOTIC CLOTHS SITS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, WITH A CRYSTAL SKULL IN THE CENTER. A FLAP OPENS, AND A ROBED, TURBANED AND VEILED FIGURE ENTERS.

THE FIGURE (WHO LOOKS AND SOUNDS SOMEWHAT FAMILIAR)

Welcome to my humble tent. I am the Empress of the Gypsies, and blessed with the ability to read minds.

SHE POINTS AT SERENA.
You! You think you are the greatest diva in the WTA! But you are wrong!

MASHA STICKS OUT TONGUE AT SERENA.
We knew it!

THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE WHEELS AND THRUSTS A FINGER AT MASHA.
Imposter! Fake former #1! You too, are a faux diva! The spirits do not lie!

ULA:
Jelena?

GYPSY EMPRESS:
No!

VEE:
It SO is. Let’s go.

THEY LEAVE, THE GYPSY FOLLOWING THEM.

AGA:
I know it looks bad, what with it being October, and this being a spooky old, abandoned amusement park, and all of us top WTA players being here. But the good news is we haven’t seen any trace of Lena D. And we all know nothing horrible ever happens until Lena D. shows up. So we’re safe for now.

PETRA:
Umm, I’m not so sure…

SHE POINTS TO THE LAST SIGN FOR THE FINAL FREAK SHOW ATTRACTION, WHICH READS…

WORLD’S


OLDEST


VIRGIN!



TO BE CONTINUED…
 
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#26 ·
CARO:
Have you tried my new line of underwear yet?

AGA:
As if I wear panties.

SABS:
TMI! TMI! I always wear two pairs for safety! Once I got crabs and nearly died! :haha:




ENTER MARION:
Eat ze cake, and get fat, Gretel. :lol:

TAYLOR:
I told you, my name is Taylor. And I don’t want any cake.


THEY EXIT THE FAT LADY’S TENT AND MEET VEE AND THE POLES OUTSIDE.

AGA:
We found the carnival barker.

PETRA:
Podje! Podje!
Too good :rolls:
 
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