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Old May 27th, 2014, 04:11 PM   #976
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by We Ourselves
You should try living with your elderly parents, that will deter you. I'll tell you why. The other day I was watching Neighbours (it's a Australian soap of sorts) anyhow, suddenly I began to get all horny and had a urge to relieve myself. I turned on the computer and went to a porn site (I'm kind of into "BUS" scenarios at the moment). Selected a video and began watching, had some tissues near by. I was really getting going when there was a knock at my bedroom door and it opened. It was my mother asking me if I wanted a cup of tea? I just about got my track trousers up on time (I always slip into those when I want to masturbate, they're more comfortable and flexible). "No, I'm fine I said." She closed the door and I got going again. I'd lost a bit of interest in what I was doing so it took a couple of minutes for my motivation to get into full swing. Next minute, my fathers shouting from the bottom of the stairs. "WTF is it now I muttered?" "I'll be down in a minute I shouted." I waited about 3-4 minutes, went downstairs and asked him what he wanted? "Could you put that DVD on for me, he asked." Sure....Went upstairs, you know the drill by now. Two minutes later, the phone rings, and rings, and RINGS!!! "FFS I says to myself, is nobody answering that?!" I runs downstairs and answers the phone, it was some guy from SKY TV asking me about a upgrade. A few minutes later back upstairs, now where was I? There's a knock on the front door "AH fuck no, give me a break" of course nobody answer's it because my father is sitting in the living room with headphones on watching a DVD. Meanwhile, my mothers sitting in the kitchen with the washing machine on, sounding like it's about to take off, she's half deaf anyhow and barely hears much these days. I gets to the door, opens it and standing there are two young girls. "Hi! We're from World Vision, do you have a few minutes?" (Please tell me they can't see I still have a semi, I thought) I tried to usher them away and close the door, but they were really persistent. I just kept saying to myself, think of something that will make it go away. Yeah that's it, that's working "Francesca Schiavone, Francesca Schiavone, I kept saying to myself" and suddenly it was gone.

After 10 minutes or so, I went upstairs, lay on the bed, puffed out my cheeks and thought lets try one more time.
The ending just killed me
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Old May 27th, 2014, 05:17 PM   #977
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Chris Evert put on blast for shameless ESPN & Twitter flirting w/ Darren Cahill
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveFifteen View Post
Serena, you betta work because Queen Evert is coming for your French man to compete the career husband Slam! We all know the French is Queen Evert's easiest Slam and Serena's most challenging. So watch out, Lordrena, because Queen Evert won't hesitate to set fire to the rain, snatch your wig and hijack your man. She's so close to completing that husband Slam, and she is indisputably the greatest of all time at making passes!!! SLAY, QUEEN!!!!!
Surprised no one quoted this.
Post of the year tbh.



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Originally Posted by GoofyDuck View Post
The ending just killed me
omg totally did not expect that
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Old Jun 1st, 2014, 05:23 PM   #978
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

VIP

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cp6uja View Post
Criminals and Villains which create RG schedule should be fired!

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Old Jun 1st, 2014, 05:34 PM   #979
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

cpooja
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Old Jun 1st, 2014, 07:53 PM   #980
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNexus View Post
Surprised no one quoted this.
Post of the year tbh.
Indubitably.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melange View Post
VIP
OK, Cp6uja, that spreadsheet is slightly genius - both the relevant statistical data & the choice of symbols.
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Old Jun 1st, 2014, 09:19 PM   #981
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Did OoohZuzana disappear after Ondraskova retired? I always loved that such a random player had a die-hard fan on these boards.
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Old Jun 2nd, 2014, 02:42 PM   #982
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by njnetswill View Post
Did OoohZuzana disappear after Ondraskova retired? I always loved that such a random player had a die-hard fan on these boards.
Is this a joke? It's well known, that poster is Ben Rothenberg, now tennis reporter for the New York times.
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Old Jun 11th, 2014, 05:54 AM   #983
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Spring Pools View Post
Zarina Diyas is a diamond in the rough. If you watch her play you will notice that, while she lacks power and some refinement, there is incredible potential. Her strokes are effortless with flawless technique. There is a grace to her game reminiscent of Hingis and Federer, which further shows off her talent. She has an all court game, which takes time to develop, but will make her an obvious number 1 once she gets used to her new body. Her 2014 has been excellent in spite of nagging leg injuries throughout the year which almost caused her to have to skip the French Open.

From the WTA perspective, she is an excellent prospect because of the fact that she has exotic Oriental features, which will bring in the Asian market in ways that Li Na pioneered. Also, her last name is Diyas, which is hispanic and will further tennis in Latin America.

She is being tipped to go far at Wimbledon because her all court game means that she likes to come to net, which is easier on grass. However, we won't really see her true potential for another four or five years or so, unfortunately. The good thing though is that her precise strokes and very efficient, which means that she'll have longevity on tour.
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Old Jun 11th, 2014, 10:34 PM   #984
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxy View Post
No that's NOT thievery. Maria's candy is for those who can afford it. Just like Doce Cabana, Prada, Chanel, and every other top designers products are for those who can afford it. Po folk ain't got no business buying candy they can't afford. That's why they have the $1 store, Walmart, Target, etc., for people who can't afford Maria's candy.
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WAIIIITTTT...Queenus BITCH!!!! She looks great and she seems excited. BITCHHHHHH...slay my pussy
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Old Jun 11th, 2014, 10:39 PM   #985
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

I get the impression Foxy does not frequent "Doce Cabana".
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Old Jun 12th, 2014, 12:22 AM   #986
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cosmic Voices View Post
Hoards of Serena posters in a public thread about Corporate Drone Pova.
Following your faves Tampax campaign its no wonder she stopped promotion given her heavy flow and wide set vagina

Colour me shocked
um what?
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Old Jun 12th, 2014, 12:25 AM   #987
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Foxy
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لعبة، مجموعة، ومباراة وليامز.
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*inserts a couple fingers into you*
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Old Jun 12th, 2014, 12:30 AM   #988
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

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Old Jul 2nd, 2014, 02:45 AM   #989
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rena P View Post
I think not! Look at the difference of the men Serena dated in the past...Common, Jackie Long etc. Why would she want him bad?. He's no hunk. I suggest it's the other way around, Serena doesn't need Patrick but Patrick needs Serena and all the good publicity it brought to his shitty Academy. And to add insult to injury, if you took away the letters A & T from his name...You are left with the word Prick, which sums everything up perfectly.
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You shut the hell up, you don't know me.! KING, Bow down bitch cause i'm the shit! HOE! I know you see that big ass patch!
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Old Jul 5th, 2014, 02:54 PM   #990
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Re: Funniest quotes of all time from WTAworld?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloud1183 View Post
Anyone notice Stacey Allaster crying in the Royal box during the ceremony
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