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Jan 25th, 2013, 06:15 PM
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#121
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ~SMILE~
Posts: 71,383
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Re: Jokes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Balltossovic
A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," the teenager pondered, "won't it knock all my teeth out?"
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Jan 25th, 2013, 09:29 PM
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#122
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,866
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Re: Jokes?
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Jan 27th, 2013, 05:53 PM
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#123
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,439
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Re: Jokes?
Some of these jokes.  
Great thread. 
__________________
Proud fan of mugs, chokers and clowns...
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Jan 27th, 2013, 06:31 PM
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#124
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,439
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Re: Jokes?
A joke I heard a few years ago:
A teddy and rabbit go fishing. While fishing the teddy catches a magical fish. The fish gives them 3 magical wishes. He asks the teddy what he wants first and he replies "I wish I could be the only male teddy in town". The fish then asks the rabbit and he doesn't want anything.
The fish then asks the teddy again and the teddy replies "I wish I could be the only male teddy in the country". The fish once again asks the rabbit but the rabbit still doesn't want anything.
The fish then asks the teddy what he wants for his last wish and the teddy goes "I wish to be the only male teddy in the whole world". The fish turns to the rabbit and ask what he wants for his last wish and the rabbit replies "I wish teddy was gay".
__________________
Proud fan of mugs, chokers and clowns...
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Jan 27th, 2013, 07:40 PM
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#125
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Waiting for Shirley
Posts: 16,763
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Re: Jokes?
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Bringum Young University!
__________________
They should take the reporters from the National Enquirer, the Star, and USWeekly and make them hunt down the terrorists. They would find the terrorists. All of them.
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Jan 27th, 2013, 07:41 PM
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#126
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Waiting for Shirley
Posts: 16,763
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Re: Jokes?
Meryl Street told me that one. ^^
__________________
They should take the reporters from the National Enquirer, the Star, and USWeekly and make them hunt down the terrorists. They would find the terrorists. All of them.
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Jan 28th, 2013, 12:58 AM
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#127
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,866
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Re: Jokes?
quiz:
what is it?
hints:
1) george bush has a short one
2) arnold schwarzenegger has a long one
3) the pope doesn't use his
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Jan 28th, 2013, 01:00 AM
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#128
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Stellenbosch, Cape Town
Posts: 2,066
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Re: Jokes?
What's better than eating a Mandarin?
Eating a manderout.
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Supporting New Zealand Tennis and its future endeavours
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Love the player and the game
Come View the Family Business: Moutere Grove, certified Organic Olive Oils http://www.mouteregrove.co.nz/
Kia Kaha
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Jan 28th, 2013, 01:08 AM
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#129
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Look who's back!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 29,320
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Re: Jokes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by wild.river
quiz:
what is it?
hints:
1) george bush has a short one
2) arnold schwarzenegger has a long one
3) the pope doesn't use his
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Surname? 
__________________
Vera Zvonareva * Ana Ivanović * Li Na * Laura Robson
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Jan 28th, 2013, 01:13 AM
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#130
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,866
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Re: Jokes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean.
Surname? |
correct 
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Jan 28th, 2013, 01:22 AM
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#131
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Waiting for Shirley
Posts: 16,763
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Re: Jokes?
Clint Eastwood told me this one during the 2008 primary:
Chelsea Clinton went to Afghanistan to interview the troops. She asked one, "what are your three greatest fears?"
He responded:
Osama
Obama
Yo Mama.
__________________
They should take the reporters from the National Enquirer, the Star, and USWeekly and make them hunt down the terrorists. They would find the terrorists. All of them.
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Jan 28th, 2013, 02:23 AM
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#132
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Kween.
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Mel Bourne
Posts: 5,299
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Re: Jokes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ranfurly
What's better than eating a Mandarin?
Eating a manderout.
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__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by madmax
I'm totally calm and feeling 2004 Wimby teas today  |
We all were.
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Jan 29th, 2013, 12:16 AM
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#133
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Waiting for Shirley
Posts: 16,763
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Re: Jokes?
What do you get when you cross Billie Jean King and Bo Derek?
a DC-10!
__________________
They should take the reporters from the National Enquirer, the Star, and USWeekly and make them hunt down the terrorists. They would find the terrorists. All of them.
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Feb 5th, 2013, 06:04 PM
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#134
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-PREMIUM MEMBER-
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Watching Justine Matches
Posts: 26,370
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Re: Jokes?
A skinny little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.”
The little guy faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and starts shaking him. The big guy says, “What's wrong with you?” In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”
The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Turner Brown?! Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around!"
 
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We'll Always Have 08
Ana~*~Vika~*~Aga~*~Sveta~*~Andrea~*~Petra
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Feb 5th, 2013, 11:35 PM
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#135
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Waiting for Shirley
Posts: 16,763
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Re: Jokes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Balltossovic
A skinny little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.”
The little guy faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and starts shaking him. The big guy says, “What's wrong with you?” In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”
The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me..... I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Turner Brown?! Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around!"
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Love it!!
__________________
They should take the reporters from the National Enquirer, the Star, and USWeekly and make them hunt down the terrorists. They would find the terrorists. All of them.
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Jokes?
