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View Poll Results: Would you sleep with a married man?

Absolutely not. 28 52.83%
Libido first, everything else second. 6 11.32%
Depends on how hot he is. 19 35.85%
Voters: 53. You may not vote on this poll

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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 03:46 PM   #136
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicolás89 View Post
I love that the majority has voted "Absolutely not".
too bad this poll ain't public cause I 'm pretty sure this "majority" wasn't composed by votes from gay males
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 03:49 PM   #137
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by homogenius View Post
too bad this poll ain't public cause I 'm pretty sure this "majority" wasn't composed by votes from gay males
That's kind of irrelevant though.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 03:51 PM   #138
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by ToopsTame View Post
This is one of the attitudes in the gay community that bothers me. We'll do anything for a hot fuck. Even if someone's marriage is breaking down by itself, you're still participating in its destruction and contributing to hurting his wife and family. You're also relegating yourself to sidepiece status and climbing back into the closet with these secret arrangements.

We are like that? huumm I learned a new thing today.

BTW isn't Nene telling that to a straight woman?
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 04:02 PM   #139
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by Nicolás89 View Post
That's kind of irrelevant though.
It sort of isn't though
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 04:09 PM   #140
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToopsTame View Post
This is one of the attitudes in the gay community that bothers me. We'll do anything for a hot fuck. Even if someone's marriage is breaking down by itself, you're still participating in its destruction and contributing to hurting his wife and family. You're also relegating yourself to sidepiece status and climbing back into the closet with these secret arrangements.

Huh? Since when the gay posters here represent the whole gay community? And you honestly think that people are being 100% serious? I mean it's a hypothetical question, most people are likely to do things differently when they really are put in the said situation.

Also, is the same question targeted at straight people and lesbians here? If not, there should be no comparison about if it's 'one of the attitudes' that 'exist' in the gay community. I mean ask some straight men if they would jump at the chance when they could fuck some super hot married women and they would probably all say 'HELL YEAH! Do you even need to ask?', but in reality they may actually stay faithful to their significant another.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 04:10 PM   #141
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by Gagsquet View Post
There is always specific cases which can explain more or less a behaviour but ,in general, if you agree to sleep with a married man, you're an asshole. And the argument: "it's not my fault if the guy wants to cheat on his wife" is despicable.
If you are the car driver during a hold-up and you just wait outside in the car, you technically didn't steal anything. Are you innocent ?
Kant said it brilliantly long time ago. You should always act like if your behaviour was the universal accepted maxim.
"Kant war ein idiot." - Nietzsche

Reading Kant always annoyed me. Then again this was the stick-up-his-ass guy who would have strict daily routines including taking walks at exactly the same time every day, so it's not surprising to see that attitude leak into his works.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToopsTame View Post
This is one of the attitudes in the gay community that bothers me. We'll do anything for a hot fuck. Even if someone's marriage is breaking down by itself, you're still participating in its destruction and contributing to hurting his wife and family. You're also relegating yourself to sidepiece status and climbing back into the closet with these secret arrangements.
Maybe you are also participating in the destruction if you reject the guy, but don't preach to him / tell his wife about his indiscretions? To use Gagsquet's favourite analogy, if you are at home and you hear a guy get beat up outside your house but don't do anything about it, are you morally OK?
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 05:20 PM   #142
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gagsquet View Post
There is always specific cases which can explain more or less a behaviour but ,in general, if you agree to sleep with a married man, you're an asshole. And the argument: "it's not my fault if the guy wants to cheat on his wife" is despicable.
If you are the car driver during a hold-up and you just wait outside in the car, you technically didn't steal anything. Are you innocent ?
Kant said it brilliantly long time ago. You should always act like if your behaviour was the universal accepted maxim.
I believe that this analogy is specious. Stealing is wrong because there's a violation of property rights. These rights apply to all people. Cheating is wrong because there's a violation of an agreement made between a person and his partner(s) (having sex with someone besides your partner isn't inherently wrong; some people are in open relationships). This is not an agreement made between everyone in a given society. The crux of the issue is whether or not other people have to respect this agreement.

Re: Kant. I don't think that his Formula of Universal Law decisively shows that an accomplice in cheating is doing something immoral. However, it does show that the husband in question is doing something immoral. His Formula of Humanity also doesn't seem like it would decisively show that the accomplice in cheating is doing something immoral either.

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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 05:44 PM   #143
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by Gagsquet View Post
In your partner's hands and the person willing to sleep with him/her.
Nope, the decision to cheat on the wife is entirely in the hands of the husband. Nobody can decide for him. The fact that one person will say no to him will not change anything whatsoever.
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Originally Posted by ToopsTame View Post
This is one of the attitudes in the gay community that bothers me. We'll do anything for a hot fuck.
I gotta disagree with you there. I know it happens A LOT amongst straight couples (a few ones in my close environement). In the gay scene you are more likely to find open relationships though, which would make the act of sleeping with someone else acceptable.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 06:36 PM   #144
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

This conversation hits pretty close to home in more ways than one. I think people make mistakes and we have to live up to them, accept them, and deal with them in our own ways, regardless whose fault is whose.

Casting stones and such, glass houses, etc etc, that's pretty much what I think. If one believes in Christianity (not that I do), then all sins are equal. If you don't, well, whatever, I don't want to make this a religious thing but one bad action is equal to all others, but yes, outcomes of each vary obviously.

Far worse things happen in my opinion than infidelity, regardless of gender or sexuality involved.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 06:42 PM   #145
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Are the marriage bounds special to you? It's a genuine question, because based off your posts, it sounds sacred for you.
Very much so, and based off my posts, I suppose it goes without saying Guess I shouldn't hold it to such high regard. After all, some people get married for other reasons (security, economics).

The attitude of doing anything to score "a hot fuck" shouldn't define the gay community as a whole, but as far as I've personally observed, it is rather pervasive. I intentionally did not make this a public poll to respect others' privacy and garner more honest votes. As stated earlier though, the views and opinions on this board shouldn't summarily reflect the gay community. I do thank everyone for their insights on this topic. I've come to realize that my view of marriage is too black and white and archaic.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 07:16 PM   #146
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by Flavia P. View Post
It sort of isn't though
This is a moral question, any person regardless their sex or gender can be exposed to a situation of this sort.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 07:32 PM   #147
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by Nicolás89 View Post
This is a moral question, any person regardless their sex or gender can be exposed to a situation of this sort.
Yeah, but I wasn't thinking about it from a moral perspective. More from the perspective that tons of married guys are on the DL looking for diq and they don't go home without getting wet often unless they're totally gross
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 07:34 PM   #148
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by Flavia P. View Post
Yeah, but I wasn't thinking about it from a moral perspective. More from the perspective that tons of married guys are on the DL looking for diq and they don't go home without getting wet often unless they're totally gross
Ok.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 07:40 PM   #149
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

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Originally Posted by Nicolás89 View Post
We are like that? huumm I learned a new thing today.

BTW isn't Nene telling that to a straight woman?
I didn't mean to generalize this as something all gay men want to do. Obviously a lot of us in this thread do think married men are off limits. It's just something that I've seen a lot of. Guys on the other side of downlow relationship, guys who know that the married man they're messing around with is deceiving his partner etc. Not a fan of that.

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Originally Posted by pancake View Post
Huh? Since when the gay posters here represent the whole gay community? And you honestly think that people are being 100% serious? I mean it's a hypothetical question, most people are likely to do things differently when they really are put in the said situation.

Also, is the same question targeted at straight people and lesbians here? If not, there should be no comparison about if it's 'one of the attitudes' that 'exist' in the gay community. I mean ask some straight men if they would jump at the chance when they could fuck some super hot married women and they would probably all say 'HELL YEAH! Do you even need to ask?', but in reality they may actually stay faithful to their significant another.
You're right, straight people and lesbians do it too, I don't think it's a good thing in their case either.

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Originally Posted by moby View Post
"Kant war ein idiot." - Nietzsche

Reading Kant always annoyed me. Then again this was the stick-up-his-ass guy who would have strict daily routines including taking walks at exactly the same time every day, so it's not surprising to see that attitude leak into his works.

Maybe you are also participating in the destruction if you reject the guy, but don't preach to him / tell his wife about his indiscretions? To use Gagsquet's favourite analogy, if you are at home and you hear a guy get beat up outside your house but don't do anything about it, are you morally OK?
Reductio ad absurdum? Obviously there are different levels of participation. My point was that you cannot absolve yourself of responsibility by saying that the guy was going to cheat anyway, you were just the vehicle.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 07:41 PM   #150
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Re: Question for homosexual males regarding married men

Shouldn't things be judged on intention?

If a guy is in a happy relationship with their spouse with kids etc.. I wouldn't enter a relationship even if he wants it.

If the marriage is already broken down and they are living separately and not having sex etc.. then I would.

BTW, there are so many straight cases where marriages have broken down and the divorce is refused by one or either partner.

It's simple, if he tells me that his wife doesn't like him anymore and doesn't have sex with him, sure I can with him and make him happy.
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