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Old Jan 5th, 2013, 08:25 AM   #181
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Re: Coming out...

Fighterpova I wanna know the story

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Old Jan 5th, 2013, 01:52 PM   #182
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Re: Coming out...

Some of these stories are really inspiring. Many straight folk don't understand just how courageous it is for anyone to come out these days, regardless of the circumstances, it's a very major step and a very big deal. Good to see many of you have awesome coming out stories.

I never really came out because it was pretty much too obvious, and I got caught with gay porn on my computer at 13, and I told my grandmother I like guys at 15, I got more or less outed at a party at 16, so it was never a secret I just lived as gay. I never actively hid it, I was never in the closet. In a way I'm sort of a lucky non-straight boy: I'm both masculine enough to not come off as "too gay" and thus offensive to the more neanderthal crowd, yet I've got enough fem in me where it's obvious I'm gay if you spend more than 20 minutes around me. So I've gotten spared a lot of the shit gay men who pass as straight and fem gays who are more "stereotypical" have had to deal with.
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Old Jan 5th, 2013, 04:44 PM   #183
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Re: Coming out...

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Originally Posted by Flavia P. View Post
In a way I'm sort of a lucky non-straight boy: I'm both masculine enough to not come off as "too gay" and thus offensive to the more neanderthal crowd, yet I've got enough fem in me where it's obvious I'm gay if you spend more than 20 minutes around me. So I've gotten spared a lot of the shit gay men who pass as straight and fem gays who are more "stereotypical" have had to deal with.
Oh same here!
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Old Jan 5th, 2013, 08:11 PM   #184
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Re: Coming out...

We're so much alike Dominic
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Old Jan 5th, 2013, 08:53 PM   #185
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Re: Coming out...

This thread took me back to one of my most favorite disco songs......

I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross

http://youtu.be/F-mjl63e0ms
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Old Jan 5th, 2013, 09:21 PM   #186
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Re: Coming out...

^ Indeed, she's one of my favorite singers! That's actually my 2nd favourite from her, my fave is Upside Down.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 11:47 AM   #187
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Re: Coming out...

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I DID IT
Finally told my parents and sister. Still have to tell my brother though because he's in NY.
Told them to sit down, almost broke down in tears. So i told it pretty fast. I said; i have something important to tell. I'm gay. I felt so nervous and awful, but they were totally supportive.
I actually don't know how i feel right now. I feel happy, but i also feel kinda sad.

Honestly, i don't know how i managed to tell it. It wasn't planned and i still wanted to wait for a while.
I feel so weird
9 days since i came out of the closet. I feel like i'm in an emotional rollercoaster since i came out
And damn, i still feel so weird. I kept crying like a little girl yesterday First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from friends, that has been really tough me.
I know everybody says it's a process and that things are going to get better. But it's double. The last 9 days have been the best of my life but also the worst days of my life at the same time I really want to accept myself for who i am, but it's killing me that i still don't feel happy
Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end It's killing me. I'm not even able to work at school or sth, such a mess.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 12:00 PM   #188
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Re: Coming out...

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Originally Posted by Elwin. View Post
9 days since i came out of the closet.
And damn, i still feel so weird. I kept crying like a little girl yesterday First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from friends, that has been really tough me.
I know everybody says it's a process and that things are going to get better. But it's double. The last 9 days have been the best of my life but also the worst days of my life at the same time I really want to accept myself for who i am, but it's killing me that i still don't feel happy
Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end
A bit surprised that some of your friends would have a problem with it. I don't know that many Dutch people in their 20s who are still that backward. But then again I live in the Randstad.

I don't think feeling happy is a switch you turn on. Or a state that even exists. Coming out was just the first step, eventually you get used to it, and you worry less, you think about it less. And that will make your life a lot more comfortable and unrestricted.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 02:56 PM   #189
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Re: Coming out...

It's a process Elwin. You'll feel better eventually. The friends who reject you will either find it in themselves to improve as human beings, or you find new friends. You're emotionally vulnerable and insecure because you are in a place in your life you're not comfortable in yet. It WILL get better, I promise, but it takes time.

The whole friends thing is why I know never to associate with people I'm not sure would accept my orientation and I know my several gay friends were the same. You have to test the waters before you come out to avoid negative backlash. But even with that-----you have your family and your new boy. They love you and accept you. I'm sure not all of your friends have rejected you. And you'll make a lot more new friends now that you're out. Keep positive babe
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 03:31 PM   #190
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Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kworb View Post
A bit surprised that some of your friends would have a problem with it. I don't know that many Dutch people in their 20s who are still that backward. But then again I live in the Randstad.

I don't think feeling happy is a switch you turn on. Or a state that even exists. Coming out was just the first step, eventually you get used to it, and you worry less, you think about it less. And that will make your life a lot more comfortable and unrestricted.
Definitely! There is that initial "weight off my shoulders" feeling which is just amazing but then after that there's the whole process of becoming more comfortable, as you say. So it takes a while but as long as you are surrounded by people who love and accept you for who you are, then it should eventually become much "easier" and the happier you will feel in yourself.
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 06:28 PM   #191
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Re: Coming out...

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We're so much alike Dominic
I know
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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 06:31 PM   #192
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Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elwin. View Post
I kept crying like a little girl yesterday First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from friends, that has been really tough me.

Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end It's killing me. I'm not even able to work at school or sth, such a mess.
Oh my what kind of reactions? That's really not cool. If any of my friends hadn't reacted well, I probably would have not wanted them as friends anymore..

Why? What's wrong? Cause you're too emotional?
Honestly, I know for sure it will get much better, but if we can help or give advice to make it easier during this process, I'm sure you would appreciate that.

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Old Jan 11th, 2013, 06:56 PM   #193
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Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elwin. View Post
9 days since i came out of the closet. I feel like i'm in an emotional rollercoaster since i came out
And damn, i still feel so weird. I kept crying like a little girl yesterday First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from ex-friends, that has been really tough me.
I know everybody says it's a process and that things are going to get better. But it's double. The last 9 days have been the best of my life but also the worst days of my life at the same time I really want to accept myself for who i am, but it's killing me that i still don't feel happy
Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end It's killing me. I'm not even able to work at school or sth, such a mess.
Fixed

it does take time to figure out how you fit into the world. You'll find good people to surround yourself with and accept yourself more and more all the time.
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Old Nov 30th, 2013, 11:58 PM   #194
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Re: Coming out...

Nice thread. I totally understand how difficult coming out in Serbia is.

I'm 18 now and I came out to my best friend a few years ago and later to my other good friends and all of them were extremely supportive. Honestly, I have such a close bond with my best friends, they literally mean the world to me and weve been together our entire lives through the ups and downs and my best memories are with them.

The beginning of high school was awful. I was struggling with my sexuality and I was so insecure, scared and unhappy. I isolated myself from everyone and fell into a deep depression. Eventually though, I learned to accept myself and obviously my living friends contributed greatly to making me feel loved.

Then I met this awesome guy who was two years older and we fell in love and my whole world changed. I felt so alive, so happy. We were together for ten months and eventually he had to leave to go to uni in another city, so I ended it and was quite heartbroken for a while, but life got back to being great for a while....until 3 months ago.

I finally took the courage to come out to my parents, despite knowing their reaction. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. They immediately sold my phone, ipad, laptop and took me to the police to have my laptop searched (the horror). I was then submitted to drug tests and STD tests, accused of being sick, deviant, evil, twisted, they said I was an abomination, that I destroyed their lives, that they hate me, that I will burn in hell and die of STDs and drugs.

They have given me until May to find another home and have put our house on sale. They said they wont pay for my uni and that they dont ever want to see me again once I move out. I never thought it would come to this and I thought despite everything they would at least not give up on me, but I guess I was wrong.

I was always a great student and I still am, I have such high ambitions career wise, but I wont be able to go to uni. At least not in a few years until I get a job and save up some money to move to Belgrade. Im keeping my options open though, because all of my friends are willing to let me live with them for free during uni, so Ill see. I wont give up on my dreams, not for my parents, not for anyone.

I wish them all the best and I hope they will find closure and peace. I wont judge them or hold a grudge against them, ever, however they failed at being parents. No question about it.

It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.
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Old Dec 1st, 2013, 12:03 AM   #195
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Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horcrux View Post


It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.


That's so sad to read - I can never understand why parents react that way.

Glad that you're moving on with a smile though
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