[Lesborah]

Originally Posted by Gagsquet

Are you fucking serious ? That's the kind of reasoning which makes our world a mess.
Ultra individualism at his best. Not my conception of the world.

I was speaking in that case, not in general. I am talking about relationships. In fact, relationships can be a form of selfishness as we don't want to share the significant other (which is my conception of course).

That might make a mess but I am sure many would not even be born if adultery was as bad as stealing and murdering.

[shap_half]

Originally Posted by debby

Comparing sex and romantic feelings to that ? Really ?

No, the point is that just because someone is a stranger to you doesn't mean that you shouldn't give a shit about her, especially if you're considering sleeping with her husband. If someone's a weirdo here, it's not me.

[Lesborah]

Originally Posted by shap_half

No, the point is that just because someone is a stranger to you doesn't mean that you shouldn't give a shit about her, especially if you're considering sleeping with her husband. If someone's a weirdo here, it's not me.

Wow, calm down ! I didn't even call you a weirdo, I just used a smiley §
So anyway. I will take the time to explain fully my position about this.

Adultery is, in most of cases, wrong. But not evil. No one belongs to no one.
So, let's call the third party X, it will be quicker for me to type.

I nearly slept with a guy who was involved in a relationship, I rejected him for a few reasons including his girlfriend, but we still made out and kissed. Whatever, the day after, he thanked me for stopping him from cheating on his girlfriend. I felt awful for days, I couldn't even look myself in a mirror, especially that the dude professed his love to his girlfriend on Facebook a few hours after we talked, I saw it of course.

Really, it's not like I defend the adultery. I just think it's not all black and white. It would be ridiculous to say otherwise.

And that's why I think that if your boyfriend cheats on you, you should worry more about him than the other party ?! Sure it's not very moral, sure it's not a good thing from X, but if X is single, and that anyway your relationship was hitting rock bottom....

If the partner cheated with the best friend than with a random girl, then it's different, you appreciate the situation really differently. Hence my "why should she deeply care ?"
It was badly phrased, so I apologize for that, I used the word "deeply" which was a key one, but I think it would be disgusting from my best friend to sleep with my boyfriend (not that I have one currently, so I don't have to worry about that ) , and I don't know if I would forgive them. It's a pretty much terrible thing to do.
OTOH if it was a random girl, I feel it's more repairable. I don't know. I have never been confronted to that situation, but I would have not any special bound or whatever with X , then I would be mad at her of course, but I don't think I would blame her too much.

It's like that poor excuse of "but she seduced me !" NO ! You have to keep your pants on. Such a ridiculous and disgusting argument. He could have said no, and it would have stayed at the "seducing, flirting" phase. I just think it's too easy to blame it all on X, when the real issue lies with your partner.

Also, what if X knows the cheater is in a relationship but the cheater tells X he is unhappy, the other is a bitch, blablah, and even worse, there are feelings involved, and they are both good friends. X cares much more about the cheater than the partner. Should X care more about the wronged party in that case ? In an ideal world, she should. But we are all humans with grey areas, not in a black and white world. So in that case, we are pretty much doomed with a conflicting state of mind.

[Dominic]

Originally Posted by Gagsquet

If Filo says you're a great guy, that's the proof you are most likely a brainless insecure attention-whore. Most likely.

Ok and if every single poster who's said something about you told me you were an annoying abrasive ass (including ppl you talk to pretty regularly), that's the proof I want nothing to do with you, now go by some friends and talk to them.

[Gagsquet]

There is always specific cases which can explain more or less a behaviour but ,in general, if you agree to sleep with a married man, you're an asshole. And the argument: "it's not my fault if the guy wants to cheat on his wife" is despicable.
If you are the car driver during a hold-up and you just wait outside in the car, you technically didn't steal anything. Are you innocent ?
Kant said it brilliantly long time ago. You should always act like if your behaviour was the universal accepted maxim.

Originally Posted by Dominic

Ok and if every single poster who's said something about you told me you were an annoying abrasive ass (including ppl you talk to pretty regularly), that's the proof I want nothing to do with you, now go by some friends and talk to them.

We want names for entertaining purpose

[Lesborah]

Originally Posted by Gagsquet

There is always specific cases which can explain more or less a behaviour but ,in general, if you agree to sleep with a married man, you're an asshole. And the argument: "it's not my fault if the guy wants to cheat on his wife" is despicable.
If you are the car driver during a hold-up and you just wait outside in the car, you technically didn't steal anything. Are you innocent ?
Kant said it brilliantly long time ago. You should always act like if your behaviour was the universal accepted maxim.

Again, I don't like these comparaisons at all.
If you are the car driver, then you technically still steal something. Also we are talking about money which are a thing that belongs to actual people.
The married man doesn't belong to his wife. No one belongs to anyone.
I still think sleeping with a married person is not OK at all, but I don't demonize it, that's all. While stealing money at a hold-up is truly despicable and jail worthy.

[Gagsquet]

Originally Posted by debby

Again, I don't like these comparaisons at all.
If you are the car driver, then you technically still steals something. Also we are talking about money which are a thing that belong to actual people.
The married man doesn't belong to his wife. No one belongs to anyone.
I still think sleeping with a married person is not OK at all, but I don't demonize it, that's all. While stealing money at a hold-up is truly despicable and jail worthy.

I do not think stealing money is much more despicable than sleeping with a married man.
There is not little mistakes and big ones, there is only mistakes with big consequences and others with small ones. Our society value the money very highly but I would value love and fidelity higher personally. It's somehow really weird in my eyes to value piece of paper higher than love.

[Lesborah]

Originally Posted by Gagsquet

I do not think stealing money is much more despicable than sleeping with a married man.
There is not little mistakes and big ones, there is only mistakes with big consequences and others with small ones. Our society value the money very highly but I would value love and fidelity higher personally. It's somehow really weird in my eyes to value piece of paper higher than love.

So your girlfriend stealing your money is as bad as cheating on you?
And you are talking about the third party not about your partner This is so extreme, because it's not only the fault of the third party that your partner has cheated on you. And at the end, the decision was in your partner's hands.

If you are robbed, you are not happy, you lost your money. It belongs to you.
You are cheated on, the other doesn't belong to you and you have not lost her, it can be fixed. I don't think fidelity is a solid proof of your love and vice-versa. That's just that, really.

And you don't go to jail for adultery, but for stealing money anyway.

[Gagsquet]

Originally Posted by debby

So your girlfriend stealing your money is as bad as cheating on you?

Yes

Originally Posted by debby

And you are talking about the third party not about your partner This is so extreme, because it's not only the fault of the third party that your partner has cheated on you. And at the end, the decision was in your partner's hands.

In your partner's hands and the person willing to sleep with him/her.

Originally Posted by debby

If you are robbed, you are not happy, you lost your money. It belongs to you.
You are cheated on, the other doesn't belong to you and you have not lost her, it can be fixed. I don't think fidelity is a solid proof of your love and vice-versa. That's just that, really.

And you don't go to jail for adultery, but for stealing money anyway.

If you are married, the man and woman belong to each other.
If you cheat on, you break the marriage vows, it can't be fixed.
And being the person who helps to do that is not the moral thing to do.
Anyway, I don't want to argue more, it's kinda useless.
People got my view and got yours.

[esquímaux]

Originally Posted by debby

Again, I don't like these comparaisons at all.
If you are the car driver, then you technically still steal something. Also we are talking about money which are a thing that belongs to actual people.
The married man doesn't belong to his wife. No one belongs to anyone.
I still think sleeping with a married person is not OK at all, but I don't demonize it, that's all. While stealing money at a hold-up is truly despicable and jail worthy.

Wouldn't a marriage certificate be considered a thing (symbolic of a union albeit)? Money being symbolic of value.

[Lesborah]

Are the marriage bounds special to you? It's a genuine question, because based off your posts, it sounds sacred for you.

Imo, marriage is overrated and is only a contract, granted to seal a serious relationship, but marriages don't change how sacred a couple is just imo ofc, and I respect different views like I respect yours about fidelity even if I am a bit shocked about adultery being as bad as stealing money from a bank lol.

[Lesborah]

Originally Posted by esquímaux

Wouldn't a marriage certificate be considered a thing (symbolic of a union albeit)? Money being symbolic of value.

Infidelity does not mean the marriage is broken. in some societies, unfidelity is not a big thing at all unlike stealing a huge amount of money that belongs to people who may need it for serious things.

[ToopsTame]

This is one of the attitudes in the gay community that bothers me. We'll do anything for a hot fuck. Even if someone's marriage is breaking down by itself, you're still participating in its destruction and contributing to hurting his wife and family. You're also relegating yourself to sidepiece status and climbing back into the closet with these secret arrangements.

[Lesborah]

Originally Posted by ToopsTame

This is one of the attitudes in the gay community that bothers me. We'll do anything for a hot fuck. Even if someone's marriage is breaking down by itself, you're still participating in its destruction and contributing to hurting his wife and family. You're also relegating yourself to sidepiece status and climbing back into the closet with these secret arrangements.

Straight people as well.

Stop stereotyping and generalizing lmao.

[Nicolás89]

I love that the majority has voted "Absolutely not".