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On the Concept of Irony w/ Continual Reference to Caro, the #1 Sunshine Queen

346K views 5K replies 74 participants last post by  Zamboni 
#1 · (Edited)
Now that we can avoid cluttering the main tennis threads,you can all ponder the intellectual capacity of the genius who thought it was a 'bombshell' that Clijsters wanted to have more children: "REALLY?:crazy:I thought Kim HATED kids.Why didn't anyone tell me otherwise?:silly:..."
 
#4,761 ·
Thought of the day:

When it's an uphill struggle for a player, it's bad.
When it goes downhill for a player, it's also bad.
Logical? :scratch:
 
#4,767 ·
Can't offer anything right now that's half as meaningful as what Burisleif just shared with us,but I'm wondering: Has anyone heard of a strategy where schools purposely lump all of the jerk-off students into one class??I can sort of see the logic in it because the malcriados will have a more limited impact that way.However,the aforementioned strategy can cause an almost unbelievable disparity in overall performance between two classes who are taking the same subject......and let's not forget those poor souls in the Jerk-offs' Class who are sincerely trying to learn and now have a significant,added obstacle:lol:
 
#4,768 ·
#4,771 ·
In re the scream/grunt comments in the other thread,the WTA has proven itself to be such a pathetic pamperer that it would NEVER risk irking its top players by cracking down on the 'audio'....UNLESS they learned that it was pushing large numbers of fans away,thus hurting the bottom line.The WTA still kisses ass on players who've been nearly irrelevant on court for almost 5 years,pretending that such players are JUST ABOUT to make their Godot comeback.

On a side note,most all of us remember how Hingis got a one-year drug suspension before choosing to retire again,but Martina was no longer an integral element in the WTA's future.So I'm wondering: If Masha,Vika,Serena,Aga or Li tested positive for either heroine or PEDs,do you think that the WTA would squelch it and just privately,strongly prod the player to clean up her act?Given the WTA's typical Star Treatment(pampering),I highly suspect that they might do that.

Back to the grunting,I can understand how it would bother fans,but the only one whose sound really gets to me is Vika's.Her emmittances sound so stupid,as if a bad actress were trying to IMITATE a WTA player's grunting.I'm not accusing her of that...it simply sounds bizarre to me,like something that you couldn't emit by accident...yet maybe that's just her 'voice':shrug:.

It's fairly clear that Vika isn't completely lacking in character;otherwise,she couldn't have achieved such sustained success.I definitely wouldn't call her 'dumb' by any stretch,either.Still,she strikes me as really,really shallow...like the sort of person you'd dread being stranded with indoors in a blizzard.E.g.,if you didn't share her favorite TV shows,musical groups or interest in fashion,she couldn't sustain an intelligent,interesting conversation for more than 30 minutes.She displays a notable lack of personality in her interviews and just seems very boring,without much creative spark....Vika reminds me of an old female acquaintance in the U.S. from many years ago.The younger President Bush's administration had invaded Afghanistan a few months prior,and I asked her if she had seen any news updates.....She had NO IDEA that a war was even going on:facepalm::lol:
 
#4,775 ·
In re the scream/grunt comments in the other thread,the WTA has proven itself to be such a pathetic pamperer that it would NEVER risk irking its top players by cracking down on the 'audio'....UNLESS they learned that it was pushing large numbers of fans away,thus hurting the bottom line.The WTA still kisses ass on players who've been nearly irrelevant on court for almost 5 years,pretending that such players are JUST ABOUT to make their Godot comeback.

On a side note,most all of us remember how Hingis got a one-year drug suspension before choosing to retire again,but Martina was no longer an integral element in the WTA's future.So I'm wondering: If Masha,Vika,Serena,Aga or Li tested positive for either heroine or PEDs,do you think that the WTA would squelch it and just privately,strongly prod the player to clean up her act?Given the WTA's typical Star Treatment(pampering),I highly suspect that they might do that.

Back to the grunting,I can understand how it would bother fans,but the only one whose sound really gets to me is Vika's.Her emmittances sound so stupid,as if a bad actress were trying to IMITATE a WTA player's grunting.I'm not accusing her of that...it simply sounds bizarre to me,like something that you couldn't emit by accident...yet maybe that's just her 'voice':shrug:.

It's fairly clear that Vika isn't completely lacking in character;otherwise,she couldn't have achieved such sustained success.I definitely wouldn't call her 'dumb' by any stretch,either.Still,she strikes me as really,really shallow...like the sort of person you'd dread being stranded with indoors in a blizzard.E.g.,if you didn't share her favorite TV shows,musical groups or interest in fashion,she couldn't sustain an intelligent,interesting conversation for more than 30 minutes.She displays a notable lack of personality in her interviews and just seems very boring,without much creative spark....Vika reminds me of an old female acquaintance in the U.S. from many years ago.The younger President Bush's administration had invaded Afghanistan a few months prior,and I asked her if she had seen any news updates.....She had NO IDEA that a war was even going on:facepalm::lol:


:lol: Vika is the tennis version of 'How to lose friends and alienate people'. Well, on this occassion it should be 'How to lose fans and alienate people'.

It's really curious that a person so successful can have so little appeal to the general public. Wondering why it might be I think it is a reflection of her own personal attitude. I think that she does this sport for herself and doesn't really care about others. She is in it to make a lot of money and fill up her trophy cabinet, that's basically it.
This could have something to do with the mentality of Eastern Europe (I'm from there). People,especially successful people, are rather individualistic and not so interested in supporting some sort of a community spirit.
 
#4,780 ·
I'm not a Vika fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I always considered her "I don't give a fuck about what you think about me" her most admirable character trait. And I really think she doesn't. She has this attitude of "you can root against me and for my opponent as much as you want, but when it's all over I'll be the winner and there's not a thing you can do about it."

Bad girls CAN be popular, but unfortunately she doesn't have enough charisma to pull it off. Hingis was a bad girl, sorta, but she was popular for her game which was eye candy of course, but also because she was funny despite her being so cocky. Capriati had a bad girl image, but people rooted for her because she had this rock'n'roll streetfighter "me against the world" aura around her. Vika doesn't really have any of that. It would already help her popularity if she gave up on that high pitched shrieking which to me is more annoying than Sharapova's because it sounds so unnatural. But again - Vika doesn't give a fuck, and somehow I can respect that.
 
#4,772 ·
How do you put those strikeover lines through a word on this board?
 
#4,776 ·
Whatever happened to ManixDk? I thought he had an interesting perspective and info on Caro.
 
#4,777 ·
He was active on some other tennis message boards (the names of which elude me), maybe you could try looking for him elsewhere and persuade him to start posting here again?
 
#4,778 ·
This sucks :p

Thanks for the help guys. :)
 
#4,779 ·
A neighborhood dog was hit by a car a few hours ago.It was a little chihuahua and,since males have such small penises compared to other dogs',you have to get pretty darned close to a chihuahua to determine if it's male or female.Since I'd never been interested in solving that 'mystery',I regretfully can't tell you if today's victim was 'he' or 'she'.

I've seen my share of dead bodies,either from shootings or car accidents,but they were always at a distance when I was driving by,so there has been a sense of detachment that significantly lessened any potential impact.I like dogs a lot...chihuahuas,not so much...but I usually rate human life as more important than a dog's...with a few exceptions,such as recent addition to hell,Hugo Chavez.

However,this particular chihuahua felt like an integral part of our neighborhood...even though I never felt 'close' to him/her.He/she virtually never barked at ME cuz I live at the end of the street and didn't walk past his/her house....Yet he/she DID serve as a nice alarm system,along with a few of its doggy friends,on our street by always barking at strangers who wandered in.The dogs even bark at women and children who walk through,but they don't physically attack.That's one of the reasons why we haven't EVER had crime problems on our side street.The neighbors work together in keeping eyes on any strange cars that might be scoping out houses,and thieves typically avoid neighborhoods with lots of dogs who might draw attention to them.A chihuahua has good hearing and olfactory sense,apparently,and it doesn't have to physically STOP a thief;it's barking tips us off so we have time to get and load our guns...and,aimed properly with intent to kill,THEY will stop any thief that isn't a cyborg.

I think that my neighbor will likely replace his slain dog soon,but it was somewhat sad to see him carrying the lifeless body today.There's such a cold finality to it.Maybe it seems contradictory or bizarre that I could lament the loss of a dog's life while preparedly believing in citizens' executions of criminals......perhaps that's a byproduct of life here in Mexico
 
#4,786 ·
Hard to believe that Lisicki got knocked out in the 1st round;with her intense fitness dedication and rock-solid mental toughness,most fans probably had her as a favorite to win the title in Miami's tough conditions..........:haha::haha::haha:....Sorry,just couldn't resist:p
 
#4,787 ·
I read where lemurs ate insects as part of their diet,but I didn't bother to check whether or not they ate small rodents,too.I wonder if they'd go after a small prairie dog.......IF they were hungry enough,that is
 
#4,788 ·
Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn confirm on their Facebook accounts that they're officially dating.
 
#4,789 ·
Fast forward six months and Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn confirm on their facebook accounts that they have broken up. Press conference from Tiger to follow soon to explain why Lindsey smashed up his new car with her ski's. :lol:

I'm not hoping for this. In fact I wish them all the best and I hope that Tiger has learned his lesson. But the cynic in me thinks that the above scenario is more likely to happen than a happy end. Let's hope I'm wrong. :)
 
#4,791 ·
So who would win in a tennis match between Rory and Red Fool?
 
#4,792 ·
Protoss,that's pretty embarrassing for a teenager:lol:;I'm an older guy who doesn't listen to LMFAO...AT ALL....and even AYE know that it's RedFOO and not Red FOOL......Then again,since you're really a European who's assimilating to U.S. culture,you might not be familiar with such terms,huh:p?
 
#4,796 ·
I was repeating a name I've seen used on Tennis Forum by folks who think he's somewhat ridiculous/clownish. :p

I find this concept of who you think I am amusing. :p
 
#4,794 ·
Had a Caro dream last night,btw:cool:;relax,hyper-sensitive types,cuz it wasn't sleazy in any way:angel:,but it sure seemed very real at the time and it's kept me in a good mood all day
 
#4,799 ·
There's a new profile,on Daria Gavrilova,on the WTA webpage in the 'Getting to Know You' section.The word "shallow" feels like a bit of an understatement here,but she isn't alone there within the WTA realm.Mathilde Johansson is much older than Gavrilova,and she also portrayed herself in an unflattering--though likely,honest--manner,to say the least
 
#4,802 ·
Thought that 'Scent of a Woman' was unworthy of all the slobbering praise it got....but that's not why I'm here right now.As YOU were the one who came up with one of the best-ever thread titles in the history of the GroupThink humanist intellectual abyss known as Tennis Forum,I draw your attention to the fact that we are gradually,almost inevitably nearing the 5,000-post mark.If I don't meet an unexpected death prior to then,I'll be inclined to implement one of your suggestions for the sequel thread title:).

In case aye DO disappear inexplicably,whether it be death-related or otherwise,you are hereby encouraged to move forward with your own choice in my absence:hatoff:
 
#4,809 ·
It's hard to watch Venus become such a shadow of her former self;I believe that we'd see MUCH different results if it weren't for the Sjogren's.Was never a huge fan of hers in the past...and I might raise an eyebrow to the quasi-religious cult she belongs to...but there's no questioning her sincerity,in my mind,as she goes with her sis to Africa to open schools and improve the plight of so many poor,marginalized women there...making a REAL difference,as opposed to some of those fake-ass,slutty glamour girls who do a couple photo-ops with children and act as if it's some sort of absolution for having such a shallow,spoiled life:rolleyes:.

She hasn't forgotten about other African-American females who are in the same boat that she once was in,and I really like her intentions in creating an affordable clothing line that doesn't limit its utility by pushing the sexy envelope way too far.

Fraudulent jokes like AI and Lisicki should be ashamed of themselves with their litany of concocted bullshit or highly-exaggerated injury excuses.What an immense contrast between those lazy,hollow p.r. seekers and Venus--who has absolutely nothing to prove...is past the retirement age for the average WTA player...is dealing with a serious illness that robs her of strength & stamina and could even become fatal.....and yet she keeps battling even though she can rarely produce the caliber of tennis that she once did.We shouldn't hold our breath with the kind of gutless weenies that comprise the tennis media;however,I'd love to catch an article--required reading for Stacy Allaster:rolleyes:--on how Venus is the polar opposite of the dime-a-dozen cover girls of the WTA
 
#4,810 ·
Has anyone ever met a really fast talker who was an honest person??In my experience,"FT"s are either liars or really shallow people who are desperate to get their words out cuz they know that they have nothing important to say......Perhaps there are differences in other cultures,though,so I'd love to get feedback on this
 
#4,812 ·
No, I've only seen them in the movies or on tv. They do seem rather annoying in those depictions though.

Maybe they're very enthusiastic people or easily excited. :shrug:
 
#4,811 ·
Honestly and from the bottom of my heart: I really feel for you guys seeing how much you still care, only to deal with this shit week in and week out. I just can't anymore, her decisions have angered me too much, following her became a chore that dragged me down and sucked the fun out of watching tennis.

Frankly, she doesn't deserve to have such fans anymore, not with her attitude. If she doesn't care, why should you? It's not her results but the mindset that is so incredibly frustrating. I really hope it doesn't get any worse...not for her sake but for you guys.

Edit: That I'm getting bad repped for this posting is so incredibly sad... jesus.
If you really are sincere, then how about you stop bashing Caro in general messages and stop rooting for seemingly every opponent of Caro's? :shrug:

It's curious timing you posting in here. You didn't even come in here to say something positive when she beat your least favorite German. :p
 
#4,813 ·
Thanks for your input,Protoss:hatoff:

On to a slightly different note,I have a couple ideas that I might implement if I were the WTA Chief

One of them would be changing the reporting in the WTA webpage;I'd make it subtly clear that we didn't suffer joke-worthy players.Instead of,"____ retired from the Memphis final with an illness...," we'd have,"..._____ quit after the first set of the Memphis final,even though she showed no signs of illness whatsoever either during the match or in the trophy photo shoot afterwards when she conveniently recovered from her mystery ailment."

We might also have,"______ backed out of her commitment to play Stuttgart,claiming to have a serious stomach virus,even though she was seen,by many,laughing and smiling on the beach with her bf on the same date that the serious virus supposedly forced her to withdraw."

I wouldn't be able to control--nor would I try that hard--when members of the media took photos of various players,yet aye COULD control how often players were exposed on the WTA website or at official events.Habitual tankers would no longer have their faces displayed on tourney promotional material(unless certain tourney bosses wanted to get on my Shit List:devil:),and they would become non-persons,a` la old USSR,in the photo galleries on our webpage.There'd be a shot of 3 women side by side,but the photo would be spliced:devil: so that the tanker was cut out of the photo as you only saw 2 gals.

They'd QUICKLY get the message,far better than they would from getting fined.Not having their photos anywhere on WTA promo media would be the worst punishment that some of those shallow wannabe cover girls could ever receive.If they complained to my office,I'd tell them,"Largate,pinche golfa!And go get a damned fitness coach!Oh,and if you decide to bring your unemployed bf to a tournament with you,then you should think about getting separate hotel rooms...or at least show a smidge of self-discipline if you have a match the next day.I don't wanna see you huffing and puffing in the 2nd set just b/c you got your brains f--ked out....AGAIN....the night before a match!"

If we implemented those types of policies consistently,we'd have a lot less wasted potential in the WTA:cool:
 
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