Originally Posted by Chrissie-fan
I will just add, because you're all so wonderful that I don't mind you guys knowing this stuff. It's not just the death of my mum that is responsible for my depression. I mean, it's the most important reason, but not the only one. I've also just heard a few weeks ago that my niece who I am close to has cancer, my boss hasn't paid me in six months because he has financial problems, there's a chance that soon I'll be out of a job, and as a result I may end up losing my house. I mean, my whole world is collapsing around me. Even the things that used to be fun no longer interest me.
I used to be a real music maniac. I have literally thousands of cd's - rock, pop, soul, classical, opera, jazz - I have it all and it used to be my life. Well, I haven't listened to a cd all the way through in months. Sometimes I try, but after ten minutes or so I turn it off because I just can't stand it anymore.
Even tennis - although I still like it, I get restless and impatient while watching it much, much more than I used to do. In the days of old I was a fanatic. Eight or ten hours of tennis in a row (if I had the time) - no problem! Bring it on! It used to be my idea of fun. Now I'm lucky if I can struggle through watching the matches of my faves. And even then my mind often goes wondering - "Oh no, my mum, my house, my niece, my job, etc." I know I sound pathetic, but it really is torture for me, I swear. That's also why you guys have been so important to me. You've really helped me to take my mind of things these past months. But having said that, I also have to admit that the negative aspects of TF upset me much, much more than they used to. I'm much more sensitive to it than I used to be.
And that's why I have to leave TF behind me. I can no longer afford myself to get upset about a load of crap while I have already so many real problems to deal with. But this is not a goodbye or farewell forever. You guys are too important to me for that. So every now and then some of you may receive a PM from me, if that's ok. Perhaps I may even become a legitimate participating member again at some point. When I get the mess that is my life at the moment sorted out. But that won't be anytime soon.
I know that I've already broken the promise that I made in my previous post, but on second thoughts I considered it only fair to give you guys a further explanation. Not that I want to discuss it any detail (and definitely not on a troll forum like TF), but at least you guys have now a better general idea of why I've come to this descision.