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Old Apr 30th, 2013, 04:55 PM   #70
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Re: When In An Elevator (starring M. Sharapova,S. Williams,V. Azarenka, N. Djokovic..

OK I know it took me like forever but I'm finally posting it, here's the last part and sorry for taking so long


“...So overall I think I’m gonna go with the red dress. It’s kind of short, but not in a slutty way, you know? And also the cut is really...”
“What did you mean by that?” Novak interrupted suddenly.
“Oh, come on, it’s a nice dress! Jesus don’t be so judgmental, you haven’t seen it!”
“I said, what did you mean when you asked me to pretend nothing happened?” he continued annoyed.
“I thought we weren't going to discuss this.”
“Is it just because of my girlfriend? I mean, if I was single, would you still have reacted the same way?”
“Or is it something else? Is it that you don’t find me attractive or something?”
“But you do have a girlfriend so why are we talking about this?”
“Why are you…” Novak started.
“NOOOOOO!” Vika screamed hysterically.
“What’s happening?” he asked scared while looking at her.
“NOOOOOO!” she continued this time yelling straight at him. “Fuck those people. WE DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU LOVEBIRDS! SHUT UP! SHUT.UP. ” she pointed at Novak.
“What are you talking about?” Serena interrupted Vika’s nervous breakdown. “This is the best thing I've seen since Titanic. The sexual tension, the rejection, the drama and the suspense. Will they hook up? Will they not hook up?” she said while waving dramatically her hands in the air.
“You are so stupid, shut up!” she pointed at Serena.
Vika ran across the elevator, fell on her knees and started hitting her head on the door.
“I will rot in here, somebody get me out! HEEELP!” she kept screaming hysterically.
“I’m scared.” Rafa said.
“OK, I need to calm down. Where are my snickers, I need my snickers.” Vika said while searching for them in her back, but came empty handed. She slowly took her eyes off the bag and stared accusingly at everyone. “Who. Did. This.” But no one answered. “I said. WHO DID THIS!” Suddenly she grabbed Maria and started shaking her. “You bitch! It was you! I know it. Bring them BACK! NOW!”
“Get away from me you weirdo! What’s happening right now? I don’t know where your stupid stuff is!” Maria screamed.
Vika let go of Maria and started hitting the elevator doors again in despair, while crying out. “Let me out. LET ME OUT, I’M HUNGRY!”
“This is not right” Novak said.
“What are you talking about, this is gold.” Maria answered.
“We should probably do something about this.”
“Oh,I’m gonna do something alright.” She took her phone and started taking pictures of Azarenka’s disturbing poses.
“What are you doing?” Vika screamed.
“Oh, you know, just taking some pictures. Need to keep my facebook page updated.” Maria said and started mumbling:

"Hey guys! You’ll never guess what happened to me today! Got stuck in an elevator! Right before my match, with Serena! And guess what! She is right here with me, heh... Awkward... And it gets better! We’re with a bunch of other people too! Nole,and Rafa,and Vika...yeah...gonna be honest... It’s kind of getting scary in’s a taste of what’s happening: In the picture you can see our number one player Azarenka, who is not feeling so well, probably on the verge of getting extremely injured...again... in need of snickers. Talk to you later "

“Are you really going to post this?” Novak asked doubtfully.
“Yeah what do you mean...why wouldn't I?”
“Um I don’t know, it’s just that it’s kind what’s the right word...bold let’s say.”
“Oh you think hey guys is too informal? But I’m trying to create a connection with my fans. I want to achieve this level of intimacy with them. So yeah, I think we’ve gotten there, hey guys is the place where we are now, it perfectly reflects how I feel about them.”
“That’s not exactly what I meant.”
“You mean the awkward part? Come on Novak, it’s really awkward, you can see it too. I can’t lie to my fans. This is an awkward situation, we need to accept it. Embrace it.”
“Whatever never mind.”
“Well this is a pretty strange situation” Serena started “At this point there’s only one thing that can be done. Rafa show us your abs!”
“I thought you’d never ask.” He answered and ripped his shirt open.
“Oh no, you killed it. Murderer... the beautiful cotton, it’s gone now.” Maria said having witnessed the brutal execution of the shirt.
“What? I have money, I can buy more.” He answered.
“Yeah, yeah whatever, more showing less talking.” Serena interrupted.
Rafa got up and started posing for the ladies.
“OK white boy werk your thang! Yeah you got it; you’re getting an eight from me.” Serena said.
“You are so beautiful. I give him a ten!” Azarenka said with glimmering eyes.
“I’m judging you right now.” Maria said looking at the girls.
“Hey, what about me? I’ve got abs!” Novak said a little irritated and started taking his shirt off too.
“Oh ok, works for me.” said Serena.
Maria decided to interfere, as she didn’t want Novak to humiliate himself again.
“Whoa, whoa sexy boy, take it easy. What are you doing right now?
“What, it’s take your shirt off time.” he replied.
“Yeah no, don’t go there!” she insisted.
“Fine, buzz killer..."
Maria rolled her eyes judgmentally, and at that same moment, the elevator doors opened and hotel staff came in.

This is what each of the famous tennis players was thinking when they realized that they were finally about to get out:

Serena: “Oh, no! No, more abs? Damn it! So what, now I have to play tennis? Boring! Should I hit the elevator people and drag everyone back in again? I was having so much fun! But that’s probably not such a good idea. I mean we’ll run out of oxygen at some point and die, and that’s not fun!”

Rafa: (In Spanish) “Oh cool, no more hanging out with the crazy people...Maybe now I should try to seduce that waitress from Taco Bell with my beautiful caramel six pack friends: Diego, Jose, Pedro, Carlos, Alejandro and Juanita. You guys, we've had so many great memories together... What’s wrong with Serena? Why is she staring at the staff like that? Is she gassy? Oh, no that’s her thinking face... Well, this is something I’ll always remember. Even though I didn't understand what everyone was saying, I’m pretty sure something important happened in here... I guess I’ll never know what truly happened in this elevator...”

Vika: “Thank God! Get off my way you stupid inferior people! What took you so long anyways? Ugh, uselessness everywhere I look! Where are the vending machines? The giant is blocking my view! She looks even more stupid from here... What is she even doing? Why is she standing like that? Never mind, don’t bother with mutants Vika, you’ll never understand them... Well now it’s over I can leave... It hasn't been great seeing you! Goodbye suckers!”

Novak: “Oh shit! Great timing, just when I was about to entice Maria with my fabulous abs... Whatever, next time. This has not ended yet...What am I gonna say to Jelena? She’s gonna know something’s up. I can’t lie, I get all nervous and sweaty. But anyways it’s not like anything happened for her to know, I don’t even care about Maria. Yeah, that was just a moment of weakness. Oh no! Maria's looking at me! Sexy face, sexy face, sexy face!”

Maria: “Ah finally, I need to pee so badly right now! Toilet, where is the toilet? I wonder if Novak needs to pee, he drank a lot of water before... Why is he staring at me like that? Is he in pain? I am in pain. My bladder is in pain. Anyways I don’t care what other people think about my dress. I think it’s just what I need for the occasion. The end. So this probably ranks as one of the freakiest experiences I've ever had. Maybe even freakier than that time when the koala- NO Maria don’t go there! Talking about weird, what am I going to do with Novak? I can’t pretend nothing happened, or can I? I mean, I’m really good at being in denial. If the circumstances were different would I...with Novak, no Maria don’t go there either! Just leave.”

Last edited by PimpMePova : May 1st, 2013 at 12:22 PM.
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