[jrollaneres25]

Waiting to Inhale: Chapter 19: [Flow]



After crying and travailing, I had no energy.
I walked to my room and slid out of my clothes into my underwear.
I take off my socks and climb into bed.
I needed a quick nap.
That way I'll have energy to help Eric load the U-Haul truck.

I look at my phone. 5:56pm. I'd better Text him.
I saw that I had already missed a phone call and a text from him

Eric: [5:49pm] Hey bro my bad. I ended up working late with dad. I'll be there around 7pm or so. Hope that's not too late. The Storage place closes at 10pm.
Me: [5:58pm] That's cool. I need a nap. So I'm about to take one See you later.

Lay my phone by me and think about Lamonte. I tried to push thoughts about him out of my head, but they came in droves.
Then I start thinking about my mother.
I felt myself getting emotional again so I resorted in thinking about Heaven again. That was always a safe Haven for me to go for comfort.
I begin to recollect on the book I read about someone's testimony about having the honor to visit Heaven for 5 hours.
Jesse Duplantis.
I opened my eyes and pick up my phone.
I go on youtube and search him up.
I find a video of him speaking on it that was about 15 minutes long.
I watch it. I tried to imagine everything he mentions describing Heaven.
Ahhh....what a good feeling.....
I close my eyes. I drift....


---------DREAM--------


I found myself in some sort of hospital-like building.
I must have worked here because I had scrubs on.
I was working closely with someone with scrubs on and a stethoscope wrapped around their neck.

Doctor: Follow me.

So I did. We began to proceed our way through a series of doors. They were electronic doors.
He did a swipe with his card and it opened the doors. Otherwise there would be a red light that showed the doors being locked.
I searched my right pocket and noticed that I had one too.
We must have went through like a dozen doors when suddenly, there was this loud dropping noise.

Everyone panicked! It sounded like it dropped right on the roof of the building.

People: It's a monster! It's in the Left DR. Wing! It's killing everyone!

The doctor and myself begin to flee.
I was pretty scared as we rush through these electronic doors.
Somehow, I sensed that the monster was coming for us.
We got to the end of the doors and there were doors to the left and right of us.

Doctor: Which Door should we take!
Me: Let's go to the Right one!

So we did. It felt like a mistake. There was no way out this room! It was bricked and it had all the Janitorial equipment in here! Oh We're doomed!

We could hear the monster right outside the door. It banged on our door a couple of times and then we heard it go to the other door.

And then...all of a sudden it got quiet.

Me: Hey, we've got to get out of here!
Doctor: Are you crazy! I'm not going anywhere!
Me: Look! If we stay here, then we're as good as dead meat!
Doctor: I'm not going anywhere!
Me: Okay, suit yourself Doctor!

I pull out my card and swipe. The door slid open.

Doctor: Get Out!

He pushed me out.
I noticed that it was desolate out everywhere.
The left door was wide open and I realized that it was night time.
This door led to the exit of this building.
Here's my chance to escape!
I cautiously walk out the door when suddenly I heard a window break in the other room I was just in.
The Doctor!
I heard him screaming and I wanted to go and help him but I knew it was too late.

I ran out of the door, which led to a dark alley.
As I begin to run down the alley I was met head on with two ferocious full-grown Doberman Pinscher's. They looked as if they wanted to eat me for dinner.
As this was happening I had a strange moment in the dream. And it was that.
I questioned whether or not I was dreaming.
At that moment I remembered a video I had saw on youtube about Lucid Dreaming and how to take control of your dream.
Whilst dreaming I held my nose and tried to breathe with my mouth closed. I could! That was one of the techniques that would allow you to realize that you were dreaming without actually waking up from the dream.

By this time the Doberman's where on me, but they weren't biting me. They were just circling me. I felt the monster approaching the alley way.
I thought okay, I have control over this dream, what should I do?

I looked up at the night sky. Fly.
So I flew, and instantly my mood in the dream switched from fear and anxiety to freedom and exhilaration.

I flew in the cool night air and smiled. This felt good.
And Then I started to think about God. Maybe I can get God to talk to me.
I begin to talk to Him and share with him everything that I was going through. And how confusing this life has been and how everyone has their own opinion on how life should be lived.
And Then I asked God, "But Lord, what do You Want?" What Do You want from your creation?"

Suddenly I begin to feel myself shaking. Shaking and shaking more.

I started to descend from my flight. I felt myself lose control and then i heard a voice.

"Dante"...."Dante"

Me: God Is that You?

"Dante"

The voice begin to sound familiar. Who's voice is this?

"Dante" Wake up....

------------------

I had awakened to that voice. Lamonte.

Me: How---how did you get in here?
Lamonte: Your brother let me in. You okay?
Me: Um--yeah

I looked at the time on the clock. [9:01pm]
Wow I slept for a long time.
And then I noticed that All the covers where on the ground and I was laying in my bed with no covers and only in my underwear. I was laying on my stomach and my arms where stretched out like--like I was flying.
How Embarrassing.

Lamonte: You okay Dante? [he asked again as he noticed the confusion on my face.
Dante: [rubbing my eyes] umm..yea I guess.

Lamonte walked over and picked up my covers for me and spread them over my body. It felt good. I looked at him.

Lamonte: Listen Dante. I can't force you to listen to me, nor do I want to. And you're right. I have absolutely no idea what you must be going through. All I know is that I want to be here for you. I do, however want to clarify the page out of your notebook, and the reason it was ripped out.

He sat on the bed. I kinda sat up a little to direct my focus on him. I was still trying to recollect myself from the dream and reality. It was all happening so fast. So I just stood there emotionless, listening and yawning.

Lamonte: When I left the tennis courts and went home, that's when I found it...well actually my mom did. Well...actually Kianna did.
Kianna had come back over to my house looking for me while you were teaching me tennis. My mom let her in. Kianna tricked my mother and told her that she had forgot something upstairs in my room.
When I got back home, my mom told me that there was a folder that Kianna dropped going out of the house. So my mom picked it up and put it on my bed. So I thought it was hers. When I started flipping through the pages I noticed your rough draft to our English assignment. It was the same one I read before the typed up version. And then I saw that page with my name all over it. I saw the word "Future" next to my name. And then I thought what's this? Then I remembered that Kianna had your folder and was trying to walk out the house with it. So I figured that she must have put that in your notebook, trying to stir up mess. So I ripped it out.
I called her and I asked her about it. She said she knew nothing of the sort. I didn't believe her. Oh btw you probably need to check your bag because there may be some things missing bruh. But yeah, so that's why I wanted to talk to you about it. I'm just trying to get and understanding myself. But your reaction said it all....


By this time my senses were heightened and I was fully awake.
The familiar flood of emotions begin to take over again. Anxiety. Fear. Rejection. And Anger.

He must have noticed because he stopped talking and then he....reached for me.

Me: What?
Lamonte: Come here.

I was a bit resistant because I really didn't have any clothes on and..and...
He scooted closer to me and consoled me with a warm hug.

Lamonte: You okay?
Me: Um...kinda.
Lamonte: Listen don't you go cookoo on me okay. I can't stand to see you crying and hurting.

He released me and grabbed me by the arms.

Lamonte: Listen to me. Now this time I'm not asking you, but I'm telling you to come with me.
Me: Where?
Lamonte: Put some clothes on. I'll be outside waiting in the truck.
Me: But-
Lamonte: Don't worry about it. I already helped your brother load most of everything in the U-Haul Truck. I told him I'd be back in the morning to help you unload everything in storage. And I am going to help you.
I'll see you outside.

He walked out the door and shut it.

I just sat there for a moment. I tried to make sense out of what just happened. The more I tried to figure it out the more confused I made myself. I came to a decision. I'm just going to go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. If I'm hurt, then I'm hurt. If everything works out, then it does. It was obvious to me the more I tried to control everything, the more I messed everything up.

I get up and put some clothes on and head towards the door.
I noticed that the house looked really empty. They got a lot of work done and I didn't even help one bit. Then I began to be appreciative not only for my brother Eric...but Lamonte.

I look at my phone and saw 4 missed calls and a text message.
My ex-girlfriend, Necee.

Necee: [8:50pm] You awake yet? I called you twice and your brother said that you were knocked out.

I thought to myself.
Tonight is about me and Lamonte.
I open the door and take one last look inside. Then I close the door.

I climb into the truck and shut the door.

Lamonte: Dante I don't want you to be resistant to what we about to do.
Me: Don't worry. I'm just gonna let things flow from now on.

He smiled and started the engine.

We pull out of the driveway and he began down a familiar street that we were on a couple of nights ago.