Originally Posted by Helen Lawson
I used to love this show, now I find it unwatchable and just grating.
Here's how I'd "off" each of the girls:
(1) Throw Sofia into a pit with crocodiles to be eaten alive. Let's see her wisecracking then!
(2) Blanche picks up Mr. Wrong and gets slashed and dismembered and her dead body posed in a seedy motel for the cops to find.
(3) Dorothy is stalked by someone who mistakes her for a transsexual and when he realizes she's not, it's a murder-suicide.
(4) Rose gets a horrible disease, but all the girls are dead so she has to go to a nursing home where the nurses hate her and gag her not to listen to her dumb stories and she dies all alone with the gag still in her mouth!
Five years later, this post still holds up. The only thing I'd add would be that all that's left after Sofia is eaten alive is her purse and glasses, sitting on a dirt mound.