[bruce goose]

Originally Posted by CROUCHING TIGER

Right, saw that. I'll play along then if u make me "chief of arms". Nobody touches the "Dementieva" or i'll shoot them to kingdom come

Well,your desire to guard Elena is commendable,but there are two points you should be aware of:

1.Elena is apparently QUITE capable of handling herself according to the testimonies of previously-injured crewmembers.She seems to enjoy bitch-slapping Mikey whenever she wants to let off some steam

2.We've already set an example with a departed interloper who stepped over the line(and word has gotten around like legend): There was a welcome guest with an idiot,identical twin-brother who used his duplicate facial appearance to sneak on board.Aside from the wayward twin's questionable choice of being a Henin fan,he got heavily drunk one day while we were making a brief excursion into the mouth of the Amazon River.After he made crude,lecherous advances on Elena,we beat him down until we had fractured most of his skeletal structure...then we tied him to a strong tether after covering him in fish blood,threw him overboard...and let a school of piranha have their way with him......That was more than 5 years ago and,whaddya know,we haven't had any similar problems since then