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  Topic Review (Newest First)
Dec 8th, 2013 09:27 AM
Andy.
Re: Coming out...

Horcrux your story makes me feel so many different emotions. Its heart breaking but it also makes me so angry. I dont understand how people that supposedly used to love you can treat you like that. Beyond Shocking!!! I really want to wish you the very best and hope you can achieve what you set out too.
Dec 8th, 2013 09:18 AM
Potato
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horcrux View Post
It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.
You really inspire me, honestly.
Dec 1st, 2013 01:12 PM
MaSharp
Re: Coming out...

Omg, what a story! Sometimes I'm thinking how lucky am I to have supportive parents.

Be a fighter and never give up! Be you. Everything will be all right. =)
Dec 1st, 2013 12:25 PM
Javi
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horcrux View Post
Nice thread. I totally understand how difficult coming out in Serbia is.

I'm 18 now and I came out to my best friend a few years ago and later to my other good friends and all of them were extremely supportive. Honestly, I have such a close bond with my best friends, they literally mean the world to me and weve been together our entire lives through the ups and downs and my best memories are with them.

The beginning of high school was awful. I was struggling with my sexuality and I was so insecure, scared and unhappy. I isolated myself from everyone and fell into a deep depression. Eventually though, I learned to accept myself and obviously my living friends contributed greatly to making me feel loved.

Then I met this awesome guy who was two years older and we fell in love and my whole world changed. I felt so alive, so happy. We were together for ten months and eventually he had to leave to go to uni in another city, so I ended it and was quite heartbroken for a while, but life got back to being great for a while....until 3 months ago.

I finally took the courage to come out to my parents, despite knowing their reaction. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. They immediately sold my phone, ipad, laptop and took me to the police to have my laptop searched (the horror). I was then submitted to drug tests and STD tests, accused of being sick, deviant, evil, twisted, they said I was an abomination, that I destroyed their lives, that they hate me, that I will burn in hell and die of STDs and drugs.

They have given me until May to find another home and have put our house on sale. They said they wont pay for my uni and that they dont ever want to see me again once I move out. I never thought it would come to this and I thought despite everything they would at least not give up on me, but I guess I was wrong.

I was always a great student and I still am, I have such high ambitions career wise, but I wont be able to go to uni. At least not in a few years until I get a job and save up some money to move to Belgrade. Im keeping my options open though, because all of my friends are willing to let me live with them for free during uni, so Ill see. I wont give up on my dreams, not for my parents, not for anyone.

I wish them all the best and I hope they will find closure and peace. I wont judge them or hold a grudge against them, ever, however they failed at being parents. No question about it.

It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.
That was so sad to read. I can't believe they had that reaction.
They are your parents, they should love you no matter what.

They'll regret it eventually. I'm sure.
Staying positive is a great thing to do. I'm sure you'll come through it.
Dec 1st, 2013 11:21 AM
ce Oh Lord... Where do you live now ?

Sent from Verticalsports.com Free App
Dec 1st, 2013 12:15 AM
AdeyC
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horcrux View Post
IKR? I thought those kinds of things and problems only happened in movies or tv shows, but Ive gotten the taste of how real life feels like. I'm definitely not a child anymore.
Yes it's unbelievable.

Guess you have had to grow up - like rrfnpump says it's your parents who will regret it in the end.
Dec 1st, 2013 12:11 AM
Horcrux
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by rrfnpump View Post
Wow, it is terrible that your parents reacted like this. Sounds like in a stereotype Hollywood movie, but it's real...

But you can live freely now, you got that monkey off your back. And for sure, your parents will eventually miss you and will regret their behavior.

Good luck!
IKR? I thought those kinds of things and problems only happened in movies or tv shows, but Ive gotten the taste of how real life feels like. I'm definitely not a child anymore.
Dec 1st, 2013 12:09 AM
rrfnpump Wow, it is terrible that your parents reacted like this. Sounds like in a stereotype Hollywood movie, but it's real...

But you can live freely now, you got that monkey off your back. And for sure, your parents will eventually miss you and will regret their behavior.

Good luck!
Dec 1st, 2013 12:09 AM
Horcrux
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by AdeyC View Post


That's so sad to read - I can never understand why parents react that way.

Glad that you're moving on with a smile though
Thank you As Lana Del Rey says "Something love is not enough and the road gets tough."

Despite everything, my life moves on and it does not revolve around my parents, so Ill be ok.
Dec 1st, 2013 12:03 AM
AdeyC
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horcrux View Post


It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.


That's so sad to read - I can never understand why parents react that way.

Glad that you're moving on with a smile though
Nov 30th, 2013 11:58 PM
Horcrux
Re: Coming out...

Nice thread. I totally understand how difficult coming out in Serbia is.

I'm 18 now and I came out to my best friend a few years ago and later to my other good friends and all of them were extremely supportive. Honestly, I have such a close bond with my best friends, they literally mean the world to me and weve been together our entire lives through the ups and downs and my best memories are with them.

The beginning of high school was awful. I was struggling with my sexuality and I was so insecure, scared and unhappy. I isolated myself from everyone and fell into a deep depression. Eventually though, I learned to accept myself and obviously my living friends contributed greatly to making me feel loved.

Then I met this awesome guy who was two years older and we fell in love and my whole world changed. I felt so alive, so happy. We were together for ten months and eventually he had to leave to go to uni in another city, so I ended it and was quite heartbroken for a while, but life got back to being great for a while....until 3 months ago.

I finally took the courage to come out to my parents, despite knowing their reaction. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. They immediately sold my phone, ipad, laptop and took me to the police to have my laptop searched (the horror). I was then submitted to drug tests and STD tests, accused of being sick, deviant, evil, twisted, they said I was an abomination, that I destroyed their lives, that they hate me, that I will burn in hell and die of STDs and drugs.

They have given me until May to find another home and have put our house on sale. They said they wont pay for my uni and that they dont ever want to see me again once I move out. I never thought it would come to this and I thought despite everything they would at least not give up on me, but I guess I was wrong.

I was always a great student and I still am, I have such high ambitions career wise, but I wont be able to go to uni. At least not in a few years until I get a job and save up some money to move to Belgrade. Im keeping my options open though, because all of my friends are willing to let me live with them for free during uni, so Ill see. I wont give up on my dreams, not for my parents, not for anyone.

I wish them all the best and I hope they will find closure and peace. I wont judge them or hold a grudge against them, ever, however they failed at being parents. No question about it.

It hurts, it hurts so much and it will always hurt, but I have my whole life ahead of me andI keep moving on with a smile.
Jan 11th, 2013 06:56 PM
égalité
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elwin. View Post
9 days since i came out of the closet. I feel like i'm in an emotional rollercoaster since i came out
And damn, i still feel so weird. I kept crying like a little girl yesterday First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from ex-friends, that has been really tough me.
I know everybody says it's a process and that things are going to get better. But it's double. The last 9 days have been the best of my life but also the worst days of my life at the same time I really want to accept myself for who i am, but it's killing me that i still don't feel happy
Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end It's killing me. I'm not even able to work at school or sth, such a mess.
Fixed

it does take time to figure out how you fit into the world. You'll find good people to surround yourself with and accept yourself more and more all the time.
Jan 11th, 2013 06:31 PM
Dominic
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elwin. View Post
I kept crying like a little girl yesterday First time i cried since i came out of the closet. I've had some nasty reactions from friends, that has been really tough me.

Everybody tells me that it's going to be fine eventually, but i just want this to end It's killing me. I'm not even able to work at school or sth, such a mess.
Oh my what kind of reactions? That's really not cool. If any of my friends hadn't reacted well, I probably would have not wanted them as friends anymore..

Why? What's wrong? Cause you're too emotional?
Honestly, I know for sure it will get much better, but if we can help or give advice to make it easier during this process, I'm sure you would appreciate that.
Jan 11th, 2013 06:28 PM
Dominic
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavia P. View Post
We're so much alike Dominic
I know
Jan 11th, 2013 03:31 PM
Mikey.
Re: Coming out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kworb View Post
A bit surprised that some of your friends would have a problem with it. I don't know that many Dutch people in their 20s who are still that backward. But then again I live in the Randstad.

I don't think feeling happy is a switch you turn on. Or a state that even exists. Coming out was just the first step, eventually you get used to it, and you worry less, you think about it less. And that will make your life a lot more comfortable and unrestricted.
Definitely! There is that initial "weight off my shoulders" feeling which is just amazing but then after that there's the whole process of becoming more comfortable, as you say. So it takes a while but as long as you are surrounded by people who love and accept you for who you are, then it should eventually become much "easier" and the happier you will feel in yourself.
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