here today gone tomorrow
god, xmen and cockroach
Posted May 29th, 2005 at 12:25 AM by Harju.
sometime ago my senior told me some stupid jokes, and i asked her where she got them from. she told me about this forum, and thus i went there. woah. lots of SUPER DEEP stuff. i was intimidated and decided I dont feel like feeling dumb then, so i would come back another day.
today is the day i have decided to brave the intelligence storms. (after feeling pretty dumb about not doing well atm)
i have never believed in the existence of a superior being. i have the same religion as God (if he existed). i don't know, sometimes i believe in god but sometimes i don't.
i think i shall ask my kids to believe in Flixism. who knows, it might spread and i will become worshipped as a God in future. when my kids are like 4 or around that age, i will tell them, (when it is dark and they are scared), "LET THERE BE LIGHT." (thus i turn on the lightbulb and at the same time snap fingers)
and there was light.
"See, Daddy is God."
"Wow dad, you are indeed a god."
ok enuff crap. here's an interesting one:
so does Jesus fart? hmmm food for thought.
i just finished re-watching X-Men.
if Mystique were to be together with Magneto, he is a very lucky man.
she is EVERY guy's ultimate fantasy.
Magneto: "Mystique, today i want you to be Pamele Anderson"
Magneto doesn't look like he is *ahem* that strong though. he looks pretty old, but ladies, his penis is made of metal.
and also the Xmen set's guys are like pretty lucky. since Mystique is painted (Note: she was actually almost nude except for nipple stickers and a small g string i think.), they can like juz bump into her boobs "accidentally."
Hugh Jackman: "Oops!!! Sorry sorry i didnt mean to!"
Rebecca Romjin-Stamos: "Not again."
now onto another topic.
i can't believe this just happened. while i was surfing net, i decided that i needed a bite. ravenous. so i opened the fridge, staring hopefully into the contents.
i saw a plate of fried chicken wings, 3 of them.
exhilarated, and totally ecstatic.
i took the small plate to the microwave oven and put it in.
bored, i looked through the microwave door while the chicken wings were barbecue-ed again and i heard the popping sounds of its oil seething.
suddenly i sensed motion within the wings. this black spot (I assumed it was a burnt part of the chicken wing) was moving rather rapidly. i realised it has feelers. it has wings.
its is a freaking cockroach!
weirdly, my emotions of seeing it was more on "shrugs. can't eat my wings now thanks to the bloody cockroach". actually i semi-considered the idea of eating the other two wings when i decided i wasn't that desperate. yesh, indeed, my level of tolerance for disgust is very high. i will agree to lick your used facial blotter for a mere 10 bucks. Just one lick though.
i was just wondering how the FUCK the cockroach got there. it can't be in the microwave. it must have been in the fridge then. and how much of my food have it eaten already? and how the hell did it get into the bloody fridge??
i decided it sneaked into the fridge underneath the wings cause it too felt the hot weather. think about it, the cockroach is black. it possibly feels hotter than us.
while i pondered my silly thoughts the cockroach was being fried in its own juices. despite the tempting curiosity, i didn't go and smell the fried cockroach so i can't tell you how a fried cockroach smells like. possibly like chicken I guess.
i feel very very pissed that I cant eat the wings cause they smell totally saliva-inducing when they were taken out of the microwave.
i didnt throw the cockroach away. instead, i left it on the table with a cover to scare my sis. i wrote on a piece of paper,
"these wings are for you
your dear bro