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View Full Version : Some Jessica Simpson lines from her show


RYNJ
Oct 11th, 2003, 07:27 PM
-Scene one-
Jessica : yea i don't eat buffalo wings..
Her friend : why not?
Jessica : cuz i don't wanna eat Buffalo..
-Scene two-
Jessica :yea i'm scared of water cuz when i was jet ski-ing i waited in the water.. and the boat didn't see me so i was jsut in the water and then a Fish Head went into my mouth..
Nick : like a fish head with a body?
Jessica : no.. just the fish head..

-Scene three-

Jessica : Babe.. am i eating chicken or tuna?
Nick : Tuna
Jessica : but the can said "chicken of the sea?"
Nick : Babe.. Tuna is like the chicken of the sea...
Jessica : o...hehe..
Nick : [pretends to shOot self]

isnt she just the smartest girl ever...

narcissus boy
Oct 11th, 2003, 07:33 PM
Non-Tennis.

bandabou
Oct 11th, 2003, 07:33 PM
-Scene one-
Jessica : yea i don't eat buffalo wings..
Her friend : why not?
Jessica : cuz i don't wanna eat Buffalo..
-Scene two-
Jessica :yea i'm scared of water cuz when i was jet ski-ing i waited in the water.. and the boat didn't see me so i was jsut in the water and then a Fish Head went into my mouth..
Nick : like a fish head with a body?
Jessica : no.. just the fish head..

-Scene three-

Jessica : Babe.. am i eating chicken or tuna?
Nick : Tuna
Jessica : but the can said "chicken of the sea?"
Nick : Babe.. Tuna is like the chicken of the sea...
Jessica : o...hehe..
Nick : [pretends to shOot self]

isnt she just the smartest girl ever...

Hahaha....at least she is waayyyy hotter than Britney.

LeonHart
Oct 11th, 2003, 07:54 PM
You forgot the part when Nick Lachey's bro told Jessica that Buffalo's don't have wings :lol:

narcissus boy
Oct 11th, 2003, 08:09 PM
:rolleyes:

Leo_DFP
Oct 11th, 2003, 08:11 PM
:lol: Thanks for the laughs.

Malin
Oct 11th, 2003, 08:24 PM
Hahaha....at least she is waayyyy hotter than Britney.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

RYNJ
Oct 11th, 2003, 10:36 PM
omg I JUST NOTICED I PUT THIS ONE GM!!! CAN SOMEONE MOVE IT SORRY!!!!!!!!!!

faboozadoo15
Oct 11th, 2003, 10:59 PM
does everyone else take them even less sewriously knowing how they actually live?

UDiTY
Oct 11th, 2003, 11:07 PM
:lol: :lol:

Jessica-Is Tuna chicken or fish??
Nick-Are you kidding? It's fish.
Jessica-No, I really don't know. I mean it says Chicken of the sea.

Jessica-I don't eat buffalo.
Drew-It's chicken, they are called Buffalo wings cuz they were invented in Buffalo. Didn't u ever think that Buffalo don't have wings?
Jessica-Oh, I never thought of that.

Jessica farts and Nick runs away:
Jessica grabs Nick and says: Babe, you like my stinky ass...

Jessica: Nick has a hairy ass.
Nick: Jessica be quiet.
Jessica: No, you have cute ass. I mean, if you want me to lick it I'll lick it.

HAHA, Jessica for president. Absolutely the funniest show on television at this moment. I'm addicted!!!! :lol:

UDiTY
Oct 11th, 2003, 11:08 PM
does everyone else take them even less sewriously knowing how they actually live?

It changed my total outlook on Jessica. She has been having people kissing her ass since she was 14, and can't do anything for herself. I mean her Mom, tells her when to wake up and when she has to leave to go get on a plane. It's kinda sad. Nick seems smart and seems to know alot about the music industry, I dunno what the hell he is doing with her...I am guessing her body. haha

Cam'ron Giles
Oct 11th, 2003, 11:34 PM
Jess: 23 is old...it's almost 25 which is almost mid-twenties...:lol:

TM
Oct 12th, 2003, 06:39 AM
JT did a great impersonation of Jessica Simpson on SNL btw...hehehe

Ambrosia
Oct 12th, 2003, 01:50 PM
Thanks guys for the laughs! :lol:

Did you guys hear Nick on Howard Stern's show last Wed or Thurs? He was a real good sport about it all. He loves Jess, in all her gassiness. :lol: He was talking about respecting her wanting to wait until they got married to have sex. Then he says they broke up for awhile and during that time he was single, he went on a sex binge because he wasn't getting any from Jess. :lol:

jenny161185
Oct 12th, 2003, 02:09 PM
Jessica: Nick has a hairy ass.
Nick: Jessica be quiet.
Jessica: No, you have cute ass. I mean, if you want me to lick it I'll lick it.

Lol shes so horny !
Did he really go on a sex binge really??? Interesting cant believe jess was a virgin - she probably did nt know how to have intercourse '' where do u put it in???''

Fantastic
Oct 12th, 2003, 02:37 PM
Anna Nicole Smith and Ozzy Osbourne have an excuse for their mental retardation (drug abuse), but what is Jessica's excuse?

This will not be a long marriage.

King Aaron
Oct 12th, 2003, 04:45 PM
-Scene one-
Jessica : yea i don't eat buffalo wings..
Her friend : why not?
Jessica : cuz i don't wanna eat Buffalo..
-Scene two-
Jessica :yea i'm scared of water cuz when i was jet ski-ing i waited in the water.. and the boat didn't see me so i was jsut in the water and then a Fish Head went into my mouth..
Nick : like a fish head with a body?
Jessica : no.. just the fish head..

-Scene three-

Jessica : Babe.. am i eating chicken or tuna?
Nick : Tuna
Jessica : but the can said "chicken of the sea?"
Nick : Babe.. Tuna is like the chicken of the sea...
Jessica : o...hehe..
Nick : [pretends to shOot self]

isnt she just the smartest girl ever...
:haha:

King Aaron
Oct 12th, 2003, 04:46 PM
:lol: :lol:

Jessica-Is Tuna chicken or fish??
Nick-Are you kidding? It's fish.
Jessica-No, I really don't know. I mean it says Chicken of the sea.

Jessica-I don't eat buffalo.
Drew-It's chicken, they are called Buffalo wings cuz they were invented in Buffalo. Didn't u ever think that Buffalo don't have wings?
Jessica-Oh, I never thought of that.

Jessica farts and Nick runs away:
Jessica grabs Nick and says: Babe, you like my stinky ass...

Jessica: Nick has a hairy ass.
Nick: Jessica be quiet.
Jessica: No, you have cute ass. I mean, if you want me to lick it I'll lick it.

HAHA, Jessica for president. Absolutely the funniest show on television at this moment. I'm addicted!!!! :lol:
:haha:

King Aaron
Oct 12th, 2003, 04:47 PM
Jessica: Nick has a hairy ass.
Nick: Jessica be quiet.
Jessica: No, you have cute ass. I mean, if you want me to lick it I'll lick it.

Lol shes so horny !
Did he really go on a sex binge really??? Interesting cant believe jess was a virgin - she probably did nt know how to have intercourse '' where do u put it in???''
:haha: Lmao! I can totally imagine her saying that!

Bacardi
Oct 12th, 2003, 05:14 PM
Aw, why do people like to pick on Jessica and Nick? I mean, c'mon we all know someone like at least one of the two. Not everyone can be the smartest person in the world, nor when you fall in love do you fall for someone almost exactly like you. Stupid people end up with smart people and vice versa.
I think Jessica Simpson sounds like a real sweetheart. I hear comments like she makes everyday from my gf so it's common for me. Like Nick, he probably fell partly in love with her because of that. You start getting a feeling like you need to nurture this person, and become almost like a parent figure and teach them things. It gives you a real sense of importance. So don't knock their love, it's sweet. Opposites attract after all. Plus, I'd rather be with someone dumber than me than to have to battle with someone just like me who's stubborn and thinks they know it all.

As for Nick screwing around, go figure. :p But I can't believe he said that, I wonder what Jess had to say after she heard it! :eek:

tennisjam
Oct 12th, 2003, 05:25 PM
smartest one ever and forever... ;) :angel:

Serendy Willick
Oct 12th, 2003, 11:15 PM
Her nutty father was even making excuses for her being dumb, nasty, and jealous on some magazine. I cant believe they renewed this circus for another season.