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View Full Version : In This Thread, FTS's about "chronic sprain of the lumbar spine" re. Anna K


Car Key Boi
Oct 6th, 2003, 06:56 PM
the following FTS's have been brought to yuo courtesy of nuerosurgery.org and the Car Key Boi


FTS#1 Patients are typically bent over and unable to straighten up or maintain a normal posture. Any particular activity is impossible, including sitting, standing, walking, driving, and especially playing fucking tennis exhibitions

FTS#2 Treatment initially should involve nosteroidal anti-inflammatory medications such as Nuprin, Motrin, Voltaren, Naprosyn, Tolectin, Lodine, Dolobid, Clinoril, or Feldene. A rehabilitation program involving physical therapy is prescribed. Physical Therapy with ultra-sound, heat and ice applied to the low back region allows the muscle spasms to relax. Exercises to strecth out painfully contracted muscles which are in spasm, followed by muscle strengthening exercises to build up the muscles to prevent further sprain and strain injuries completes a physical therapy program.

FTS#3 The prognosis is excellent for a complete recovery of a lumbar sprain or strain injury. The muscle typically recovers nearly 100% with some minimal scar tissue, if there was tearing of the muscle. Recurrent episodes of sprain and strain injury to the lumbar spine may be prevented by a conscientious daily exercise program to stretch and strengthen the lumbar spine muscles. This will avoid muscles that are weak and chronically underused or in a state of "chronic deconditioning."

FTS#4 Anna Kournikova does not have "chronic sprain of the lumbar spine". If she did, she would be unable to walk. Furthermore, to suggest that this condition is not treatable (re. "inoperable) is bullshit.

FTS#5 Anna has completely lost her game and she knows it's, and so do her management

FTS#6 To make an announcement that Anna is retiring because she is crap, would be a major embarrassment, not only to her, but also her fans and her sporting sponsors like Adidas blah. Hence the reason for the "chronic lumber sprain" troll

that is all

- Car Key Boi

Martian Willow
Oct 6th, 2003, 07:22 PM
...wow...they really had me fooled...till yuo pointed out the troof... :)

DA FOREHAND
Oct 6th, 2003, 07:46 PM
Perhaps she should try the missionary position.
As a friend Martina should have told her hockey players are rough in bed, and like to press em agianst the glass headboard.

Kart
Oct 6th, 2003, 08:03 PM
To think I wasted six years of my life on my degree when I could have just gone to neurosurgery.org :bigcry:

vogus
Oct 6th, 2003, 08:56 PM
yeah all those FTS are true, but remember that Anna's big shot manager at Octagon Phil de What's His Name has to keep talking, otherwise he doesn't get paid his big fat check. Anna doesn't play tennis anymore, so what's his talking points? "Chronic Inoperable Lumber Sprain" is as good as anything else. Octagon is still making money off of Anna, otherwise they would have already cut her loose. When de What's His Name bails out of Anna's ship, that's when we know that she's no longer profitable as a client.

Car Key Boi
Oct 6th, 2003, 09:38 PM
i think Anna will eventually change management

i'm not saying that Phil de Blah or Octagon are doing a bad job, far from it, but they are sports agents first and foremost

Anna will need an agency that's more specialized in the movie/model/celeb biz

vogus
Oct 6th, 2003, 09:48 PM
yeah she needs a Hollywood-based agency. I don't think she is going to begging for one either, as soon as it's over with octagon somebody will snap her right up.

*JR*
Oct 6th, 2003, 11:01 PM
FTS#7 Typically the patient doesn't play a sport with constant sudden stopping and starting motions and changes of direction. :rolleyes: