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JennyS
Oct 6th, 2003, 05:14 PM
Joke article: Clijsters tests positive for sugar


Belgian tennis superstar Kim Clijsters has been suspended one month for failing a drug test. The world’s #1 player tested positive for sugar and will not be allowed to defend her WTA Championship title.

The WTA, which began random drug testing this season, found 200 grams of sugar in the world #1 player’s system. A tour spokesman also claims that several boxes of candy canes, blow pops, fun dip, snow cones, hershey’s kisses and reese’s peanut butter cups were found in Clijsters’ house.

Asked to comment on the positive test, Clijsters replied, “I have never doped in my entire career. I just have a sweet tooth. Since when is sugar a performance enhancing drug?”

“I knew Kim was sweet,” said a former teacher, “but now I know why.”

According to an anonymous top ranked Belgian player, “Kim has always been a cheater. Just the other day, I saw her cork her racquet. Where else do you think she gets all that power from?”

Clijsters plans to appeal her suspension. If found not guilty, Clijsters plans to sue the WTA for $1.5 million for defamation of character. “In the end, I know I will restore my good name. I will fight this to the end,” said Clijsters.

ToeTag
Oct 6th, 2003, 05:33 PM
:lol: I think Clijsters would have sounded more like:"you know,I have never,you know doped in my entire career.I ,you know just have a sweet tooth.

X-Lurker
Oct 6th, 2003, 09:28 PM
Good job! Keep it up Jenny S!

JennyS
Oct 6th, 2003, 09:45 PM
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

Myskina Lina
Oct 6th, 2003, 09:55 PM
“I knew Kim was sweet,” said a former teacher, “but now I know why.” :lol:

According to an anonymous top ranked Belgian player, :lol:

Hurley
Oct 7th, 2003, 01:47 AM
This tickled me! :lol:

Trish101
Oct 7th, 2003, 01:54 AM
lmao...keep it up Jenny S....you will one day be one of us Great Dame's like me and Becca...i just know it! one day you will be a great poster....you have talents girl. Im gonna keep my eyes on you! ;) !

Trish101
Oct 7th, 2003, 02:01 AM
oooh, it tickled me too!