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CamilleVidann
Oct 4th, 2003, 05:55 PM
Well..this is kinda similar to what you want to happen but somehow you can be a little bit more unrealisitic as well as disillusional.
Let me start it.

"Hingis Announces Come-back"

Dava
Oct 4th, 2003, 05:57 PM
ALEXANDRA STEVENSON WINS A MATCH

Martian Willow
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:00 PM
MIRJANA LUCIC PLAYS A MATCH

...and the Hingis one, of course... :)

bracey
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:04 PM
"Saddam gets aids from Elton John"

CamilleVidann
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:06 PM
V. Williams Marries Elton John

Jericho
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:09 PM
CamilleVidann Gets a Life!

although its something hard to believe

CamilleVidann
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:18 PM
S. Williams gives up on acting!!

Roxers
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:25 PM
- Dinara Safina wins the Australien Open

- Babsi Schett wins 5 matches in a row

- Steffi Graf and Martina Hingis announces Comeback

- Marat Safin wins the Golden Slam in 2004


:crazy:

CamilleVidann
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:28 PM
Justine Helen Double-dounutts Serena

Mr. Man
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:29 PM
CamilleVidann Gets a Life!
Sadly, That's not possible. LMAO, Do like most posters, put her stupidass on IGNORE. She's a selesrules copycat. TOO funny!

Allez Joosteen
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:32 PM
Justine Henin-Hardenne wins the Grand Slam! The first player since Steffi Graf to win all 4 majors in the same year!

I really like the fact that this isn't a farfetched headline. :hehehe:

CamilleVidann
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:33 PM
Justine Henin-Hardenne wins the Grand Slam! The first player since Steffi Graf to win all 4 majors in one year!

I really like the fact that this isn't a farfetched headline. :hehehe:

Well a certain Serena Williams has done it in "one year".

Anyways, would be great if Juju made it next year.

KoOlMaNsEaN
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:52 PM
Serena Williams plays more than 12 tournaments in a year! :eek:

Hendouble
Oct 4th, 2003, 06:58 PM
"Serena Williams decides to cut back on Grand Slam schedule by 4 tournaments; in other American news, Andy Roddick mysteriously loses all power on serve".

Sorry I couldn't be bothered to format it and all.

Allez Joosteen
Oct 4th, 2003, 07:00 PM
Well a certain Serena Williams has done it in "one year".

Anyways, would be great if Juju made it next year.

I corrected it to say "in the same year". :wavey:

Juju? :fiery: I hate that UNOFFICIAL nickname. It makes Justine sound like a little baby. :rolleyes:

Monsters
Oct 4th, 2003, 07:07 PM
"Andy Roddick is an ASS"

USST_TOUR
Oct 4th, 2003, 07:15 PM
Chanda Rubin wins a Grand Slam

or

Chanda Rubin defeats Elena Dementieva in Shanghai 2003 and Bali 2003 Final

irma
Oct 4th, 2003, 07:19 PM
finally there is a cure for attentionseekers

Toontje
Oct 4th, 2003, 07:20 PM
Justine Henin-Hardenne and coach Carlos decided to stop cheating!

Dizzy Miss Lizzy
Oct 4th, 2003, 07:32 PM
Patty Schnyder dumps Rainer Hoffman

matija-seles
Oct 4th, 2003, 07:36 PM
SELES GRABS WIMBLEDON SINGLES TITLE

DA FOREHAND
Oct 4th, 2003, 07:45 PM
:lol: Justine Henin-Hardenne wins the Grand Slam! The first player since Steffi Graf to win all 4 majors in the same year!

I really like the fact that this isn't a farfetched headline. :hehehe:



:lol: :lol:

That will never...ever happen. The only way that happens is if the top five players boycott, or are all injured not playing.

USST_TOUR
Oct 4th, 2003, 08:11 PM
:lol:



:lol: :lol:

That will never...ever happen. The only way that happens is if the top five players boycott, or are all injured not playing.

too true...

snoop
Oct 4th, 2003, 08:22 PM
German player conquers #1 spot

fifiricci
Oct 4th, 2003, 08:27 PM
Weapon of Mass Destruction Found In White House: George W. Bush's Brain

Jen'sFan
Oct 4th, 2003, 08:27 PM
TIM HENMAN WINS WIMBELDON!!

Roxers
Oct 4th, 2003, 08:31 PM
ANDY RODDICK LOOSES A BIT ON HIS SERVE AND FALLS TO NR 564

bw2082
Oct 4th, 2003, 08:32 PM
Hantuchova Seen Eating!

Roxers
Oct 4th, 2003, 08:36 PM
MARAT SAFIN FINISHES THE YEAR AS NR 1 WITH 15 TITLES INCLUDING THE GOLDEN SLAM AND 6 MASTERS TITLES!

fifiricci
Oct 4th, 2003, 08:41 PM
Lleyton Hewitt: "Trust Me, Kim's No Choker!"

Martian Willow
Oct 4th, 2003, 09:21 PM
:lol:

Joana
Oct 4th, 2003, 09:21 PM
Jelena Janković reaches top 50 following her victory at tier III.

Amelie's win at Roland Garros causes a hysteria in France.

Lindsay Davenport finds a way to enjoy being on tennis court again.

bw2082
Oct 4th, 2003, 09:29 PM
Kournikova To Undergo Plastic Surgery

October 4, 2003
Miami, USA (Reuters)

Anna Kournikova's injuries and poor play have forced the Russian tennis player to resort to extreme methods to jumpstart her once promising career, now on the brink of extinction.

The 21-year-old Russian is one of the most recognizable and photographed stars in world sport. Sponsorship deals with Adidas, Omega watches, Yonex tennis equipment and Berlei lingerie have made her one of the wealthiest players on the women's circuit with career earnings totalling more than $40 million. This is in spite of having never won a WTA tour title since turning pro several years ago.

Often criticized for putting more emphasis on her appearance than her game, Kournikova has decided to undergo plastic surgery to thwart as she put it, "this horrible stereotype."

"I've decided that it would be best for my game to make myself less attractive so that my tennis does all the talking."

Kournikova continued, "You don't know the pressure I am under to look good on court and play good tennis at the same time. I think that by dropping one priority, I'll have more time to concentrate on the other. The tennis. That is what is important."

According to Kournikova's plastic surgeon, Dr. Ivan Cutalotov, Kournikova will undergo a nose augmentation, and fat injections in strategic spots.

Sponsors are responding to the announcment with mixed reactions. Said one company with whom the Russian has a lucrative endorsment deal, "Sponsors have paid a lot of money to endorse her and the idea is that she produces something in return. I think that the 'uglification' of Anna Kournikova might be the best thing for her career."

Still others have expressed concerns over whether or not a less attractive Kournikova will help sell thair products.

Said a cosmetic company employee under condition of anonimity, "Who wants an ugly spokesperson? We're in the business of selling beauty. If she goes through with this she is done in this industry."

Retired French tennis star Nathalie Tauziat commented when she heard the news of Kournikova's surgery, "It's about time she took a clue from me. Of course I didn't have to use unnatural means to achieve my look but that is besides the point. It's a disgrace that Kournikova attracts more attention that someone like Lidsay Davenport on the merits of her looks alone. Looking more homely will make her have to play better if she wants to maintain the attention she has now."

The question remains... will her new "lift" lift her game as well? Only time will tell.

mexicotrip
Oct 4th, 2003, 10:12 PM
VENUS plays two events without injury!

PointBlank
Oct 4th, 2003, 10:59 PM
Anna K. wins 1st title at Aussie Open 2004 by defeating Martina Hingis 0-6,6-0,6-02

ßcoene
Oct 4th, 2003, 11:19 PM
Kournikova has her confidence back after an injuryfree 2004

Elke Clijsters, Kim's little sister, enters the top-100

Els Callens enters the top-40 for the first time in her career at the age of 33

persond
Oct 4th, 2003, 11:27 PM
CamilleDiVann Commits Suicide After Venus wins AO and Roland Garros
and Serena Wins Wimby and USOpen

CondiLicious
Oct 4th, 2003, 11:34 PM
MONICA SELES CAUGHT IN RED HOT TRYST WITH DIVA HER LESBIAN LOVER... turn to page 3 for more...

SELES AND HER DIVA IN THREESOME WITH COLIN FARRELL... BOTH CLAIM TO FRIENDS "HE'S ALL MAN AND THEN SOME!"

fifiricci
Oct 4th, 2003, 11:35 PM
TENNIS BALL FOUND ON MOON, PROBABLY CAME FROM VENUS, SAY EXPERTS

propi
Oct 4th, 2003, 11:48 PM
TWO MONTHS AFTER ROLAND GARROS CONCHITA MARTÍNEZ REPEATS VICTORY IN ATHENS
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

Sonja
Oct 4th, 2003, 11:50 PM
Mauresmo completes Golden Slam

persond
Oct 5th, 2003, 12:27 AM
Transplanted "brain" of DA BackHand
Caused "bird" to "fly backwards"

Scientists bewildered...!!!

Car Key Boi
Oct 5th, 2003, 03:02 AM
"Anna Kournikova to succeed Nadia Nyce as the new Princess Of Cream" by Rex Cum for CBSmarketwatch

disposablehero
Oct 5th, 2003, 03:06 AM
"Anna Kournikova caught having public sex with disposablehero"

kku
Oct 5th, 2003, 03:07 AM
Monica Wins 4 Singles, Mixed and Doubles Slams in a row and ends career ranked no. 1 in Singles and Doubles!!!

Hingis clinches Roland Garros and World No.1 after successful comeback!!!

Serena extends to a 101 GS Final victory over Venus at the Australian Open!!!

Amelie Maurasemo is Straight and will announce marraige to kku!!!

Sugiyama, Asagoe, Morigami and Obata occupy the top 4 World Singles ranking!!!

Sugiyama defeats Asagoe in first ever all-Asian GS Final at US Open!!!

World no.1 Elena Dementieva becomes first Russia female GS Winner defeating World no.2 Anna Kournikova in all-Russian GS Final at Wimbledon!!!

Rothes
Oct 5th, 2003, 03:10 AM
Patty Schnyder dumps Rainer Hoffman

Im also waiting for that headline to arrise in Blick soon.

Patty Schnyder slides back into the top 10

Patty Schnyder regains Herbert Choudry as coach

Emmanulle Gagliardi wins Indian Wells

Marie Gianeh-Mikaelian Decides not to play with Switzerland

kku
Oct 5th, 2003, 03:10 AM
RG crowd becomes teary-eyed and regretful after ITF announces the GS move to Madrid, Spain!!!

Mens and Women's year ending Tennis Championships to be moved to Tokyo, Japan!!!

Indian Wells to be moved to Osaka, Japan!!!

Singapore to host World's biggest tournament, the Asian Championships!!!

South Korean defeats North Korea and unifies the country for the first time im 55 years!!! (not tennis, but hey! Could give the country a proper chance to host a tennis tournament in safety).

darren cahill
Oct 5th, 2003, 03:45 AM
Hantuchova Seen Eating!

CLASSIC! :lol:

CamilleVidann
Oct 5th, 2003, 03:47 AM
Elena Bovoina joins Dainiela Club.

Trish101
Oct 5th, 2003, 04:37 AM
WWE DIVA Trish Stratus wins Wimbledon Final Over a scared Serena Williams-NEWSWORLD


- 28 year old Patricia Anne Stratigeas made history yesterday, by becoming the first wildcard winner at Wimbledon defeating both the #1 seed Jennifer Capriati in straight sets in the quarter finals, before, trumping a game Venus Williams in the Semis.

The finals at the all England club was like nothing else, Patricia aka. "trish stratus' from Americas WWF'E came into the stadium court wearing a diamond- laced top with diamond clad leather shorts. Serena, wearing a Pink Bunny suit, trimmed with yellow bunny ears and a tutu strutted on court and preceded to grab the Umpires micraphone. "Trish, you want me to beat you now with my eyes opened? or do i need a blindfold?" Trish promptly replied, "thats ok, youll be off the court in a few minutes with the runner-up trophy anyways...so just keep youre eyes opened while i double bagel you, k?" "ok" serena mumbled before muttering out 'dumb bully'

That was only the biggining, it was a great match, with trish winning the first set in timely fashion, 6-3. Serena, obviously angry that such a 'amueter' could take her to three sets, whent over to Trishs chair on there changeover and said "trish hun. i really dont want to embarrass you, but if you dont get your blond ass of this court right now, im gonna kick you to the curb, right were you belong." Trish, not to be outdon, smirked, "i dont think ill be the one lying flat on my back, bitch when im done with you, the only place you'll be going is , DOWN!"

The next set whent like a flash, Trish, using her superior speed and baseline technique, outplayed serena, easily winning the second set 6-1.

"thank you so much Martina, i couldnt have done this without you!" Trish, weeping in joy said, excepting her venus rose bowl trophy....but as she was going to continue, Serena snaped! "biiitch!" roared a deranges Serena as she charged Trish.

BOOM! POW! KA-POW! "is that all you got black girl?" trish yelles as she power slams serenas now-limp body into the ground. "im better, im #1 and Serena didnt yo momma ever tell you not to fight real women?"

What a day! a day that will live in tennis history, Serena is now in hospital receiving critical medical attention, Trish is in Fiji somewhere with her trophy!

Trish101
Oct 5th, 2003, 05:15 AM
whatever...im funny !

FanDeJen
Oct 5th, 2003, 05:33 AM
It´s official: Brad Gilbert is Jennifer´s new coach!!!

Trish101
Oct 5th, 2003, 05:38 AM
Brad...hes kinda hunky....i think i want him to be my coach (my bed coach that is! :devil: ) nasty gurl! im so im so nasty! hehehehe

Ballbuster
Oct 5th, 2003, 05:50 AM
Trish 101 (formerly Defrocked Fitness Star) Arrested for Trolling!

dreamgoddess099
Oct 5th, 2003, 06:16 AM
TENNIS CHANNEL FINALLY LAUNCHES IN MORE THAN THREE CITIES :lol:

VENUS WILLIAMS WINS THE GOLDEN SLAM, REGAINS #1 RANKING, AND RECIEVES HER MASTERS IN INTERIOR DESIGN . ALL WHILE RUNNING HER FORTUNE 500 COMPANY!

SERENA WILLIAMS FINALLY DATES A GUY THAT IS NOT AN ATHLETE


SERENA WILLIAMS SIGNS 100 MILLION DOLLAR DEAL FOR THE NEXT SEVEN YEAR

Toontje
Oct 5th, 2003, 09:26 AM
Sharapova wins first WTA title

Knizzle
Oct 5th, 2003, 09:27 AM
Sharapova wins first WTA title

Too late. LOL :lol:

Alan
Oct 5th, 2003, 10:45 AM
"Andy Roddick is an ASS"

wow what agreat headline, apart from those whcich refer to STEFFI and MARTINA headlines whioch i would love to see

Trish101
Oct 5th, 2003, 10:50 AM
andy is a fine peice of ass thats for sure!

esquímaux
Oct 5th, 2003, 11:25 AM
andy is a fine peice of ass thats for sure!

:drool:

Roxers
Oct 5th, 2003, 02:30 PM
:drool:

:retard: :cuckoo:

skanky~skanketta
Oct 6th, 2003, 09:26 AM
Andre Has A Falling Out With Steffi And Lands In Veronica's Embrace.

USST_TOUR
Oct 7th, 2003, 04:30 AM
Stupid Admin deleted my post because they are Henin-lovers

"Henin found in a love triangle with a gang member, Henin-Hardenne convicted and put into jail"

Trish101
Oct 7th, 2003, 07:04 AM
Mandy, Mandy, Mandy...you boyfriend stealin' ho! Andy was mine before you took him away from me! I like the buckeneers too!

Trish101
Oct 7th, 2003, 07:06 AM
MANDY MOORE, DEAD IN CAR CRASH, RODDICK RUNS INTO ARMS OF WRESTLING DIVA TRISH FOR CONSOLATION-NEWSWORLD


:devil: thats right andy is with me! so dont bother us!

Hurley
Oct 7th, 2003, 07:12 AM
Scientists: "'Lose' Means 'To Not Win'"
Sources admit that "loose" is the opposite of "tight"

Sam L
Oct 7th, 2003, 07:20 AM
COLD MOUNTAIN SWEEPS THE OSCARS; SETS NEW RECORD WITH 12 OSCAR WINS

Well you didn't say it had to be about tennis. ;)

Martian Melissa
Oct 8th, 2003, 12:19 AM
Martina Hingis announces comeback at australian open 2004

BREAKING NEWS: Anna kournikova dumps boyfriend for lesbian lover and doublespartner Martina Hingis
:drool:

Hingis takes revenge and grabs the title in a thriller match at the australian open 2004 beating Capriati 7-6 6-7 8-6

yukon145
Oct 8th, 2003, 04:24 AM
Jennifer Capriati tops an amazing 2004 season by winning the US Open!

Kirt12255
Oct 8th, 2003, 05:04 AM
"Molik Frolic"
Alicia takes out the Australian Open :-)

Hey you said it could be unrealistic....

Jamie
Oct 8th, 2003, 06:57 AM
Martina Hingis Returns And Wins French Open. Claims Her #1 Position.

Sam L
Oct 8th, 2003, 07:00 AM
BUSH DEFEATED IN 2004 ELECTION

This is my ultimate dream. LOL

Rub
Oct 8th, 2003, 09:37 AM
Clijsters Completed Golden Slam

Rub
Oct 8th, 2003, 09:39 AM
Clijsters Continues 107 Match-winning Streak

Rub
Oct 8th, 2003, 09:41 AM
Kournikova Hammers S. Williams, Wins Wimbledon

Hingis Returns to Action

SerialKiller#69
Oct 8th, 2003, 02:35 PM
Tennis officially banned.

Ballbuster
Oct 8th, 2003, 03:23 PM
Tennis officially banned.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Roxers
Oct 8th, 2003, 03:26 PM
MARTINA HINGIS WINS ROLAND GARROS 2004

dreamgoddess099
Oct 9th, 2003, 06:38 AM
Close-up Toothpaste Dumps Serena; Cites Justine As Better Spokesperson For Their Product. Yeah right :lol:

Trish101
Oct 9th, 2003, 06:53 AM
Hey, serena does have yellow teeth, yukkie!

Jennifer's wife
Oct 9th, 2003, 01:18 PM
Wimbledon Winner Capriati in London Lesbo-Lust Romp!


The Daily Star- 05.07.04

Newly crowned SW19 champ Capriati admits she is now a one woman woman. "What can i say? i just, you know, fell in love" Former American wildchild Capriati declares her newfound love for un-named English woman made the difference in her title bid this year. "She supported me in every way". The pair apparently met last year, although little is known about Capriati's lesbian lover. Stefano Capriati, coach and father to Jennifer added "Whatever makes her happy. you know, a win is a win i dont care what she needs to do to get it. She obviously needed something i couldnt give as a coach or father to give her that extra boost". Capriati and her lover celebrated the comeback queen's latest crown in a top London hotel. Another hotel guest said "yes they were very noisy. you know, for hours! I only wish there had been a hole in the wall!!" We asked Jennifer if we would be seeing a new face in the familly box at the US open...."yea. i mean, for sure"

DunkMachine
Oct 9th, 2003, 04:33 PM
Camille Vidann run over by bus

Chinese resident Camille Vidan has become a victim of a brutal bus accident. The driver of the bus Mr. Dunk M explained to the authorities that he couldn't break due to the trail of snot left behind by Vidan.

Ballbuster
Oct 9th, 2003, 04:35 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :bounce: :bounce: :worship:

Princess Fiona
Oct 9th, 2003, 04:57 PM
BRITISH WOMAN WINS WIMBLEDON!

:D :D :D

Princess Fiona
Oct 9th, 2003, 04:59 PM
Nicolas Lapentti and Princess Fiona celebrate their marriage...

And if any paparazzi even THINK of getting near us... :beware: :shout: ;)

Andre@
Oct 9th, 2003, 05:02 PM
Don't be sad anymore. The SWISS MISS is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alfajeffster
Oct 9th, 2003, 07:58 PM
Isn't headlines one word instead of two?

mentos
Oct 9th, 2003, 08:22 PM
Hantuchova Seen Eating!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

mentos
Oct 9th, 2003, 08:25 PM
Transplanted "brain" of DA BackHand
Caused "bird" to "fly backwards"

Scientists bewildered...!!!
:lol: I'm deading(intentional grammatical error :p )

Roxers
Oct 9th, 2003, 08:31 PM
:lol: :lol: Jennifer`s wife .... :yeah: :lol:

Ballbuster
Oct 9th, 2003, 09:24 PM
Martina Hingis return to Tour Breaks Ankles Again!!!

jlamire
Oct 9th, 2003, 09:57 PM
Nathalie Dechy goes beyond 3rd round in Grand Slam!!!

Andrew.
Oct 9th, 2003, 10:07 PM
Hantuchova Wins Two Straight Matches

Davenport Loses First Point, But Ends Up Winning For First Time In Years

maria's man
Oct 10th, 2003, 01:28 AM
Sharapova & Hingis Battle For British Man's Love... By Having Lesbian Sex... In Schoolgirl Uniforms... While He Watches...